Foreign Wives


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Foreign Wives

Foreign Wives
PolishKnight
Contributor
PolishKnight

<i>And I say this because I live in a major city where many men  have six and seven figure incomes and these are the “women of choice”. They are the perfect “trophies” because these men think, career women overshadow them. What these men do not know is that these women DO have a career, and that is to drain those men dry.</i>

It’s interesting to hear the stereotype of the foreign bride who just becomes Americanized or trashes the man bandied about often by the same women who argue that it’s silly to generalize about career women trashing men and divorcing him if he doesn’t wash enough dishes.

The state department claims that the divorce rate for men who marry through foreign bride visas is much less than normal and this stat even includes those that break up due to cultural differences or cold feet on the part of the bride or groom.

So in all honesty, there’s something more to the high divorce rate and materialism of American women than just plain careerism or even feminism.  America is a place where people are flooded with images of easy wealth and affluence.  People feel like losers if they don’t have expensive stuff.  I remember how kids would get picked on if they wore “bobos” or generic sneakers to school.  So perhaps a lot of foreign women just have a different perspective on life much like all immigrants.

At the same time, thanks partly due to leftism, new immigrants don’t feel such a need anymore to assimulate and apologize for not immediately fitting in with American ways.

Men and women both want a spouse who appeases their ego.  What’s wrong with this?  The rebuttal included the woman lecturing the man to not be lazy and to keep in shape and have all kinds of skills INCLUDING bringing home a competitive wage.  What has gotten all the chickens in the coop in a flutter has been the open statement of a simple truth that men and women often want the same things, but men are just more reasonable about it.  Career women often say they want a good looking man who cooks and cleans and holds open her doors but, gosh, don’t expect her to put up any of her money or to cut him slack on generating an income or social status competitive with hers.

And that’s what it all comes down to: There ain’t no free lunch and even putting forbes out of business isn’t going to change that fact.

08-25-2006 04:43 PM

Re: Foreign Wives
miscwit
Contributor
miscwit

When a foreign woman wants something from her husband, she spoils him.

When an American careerist woman wants something from her husband, she divorces him.

08-25-2006 04:45 PM

Re: Foreign Wives
Hedgie
Regular Contributor
Hedgie

I prefer foreign women, particularly from South America, because they do seem to have their head screwed on right. They seem to take life as it comes. They enjoy life more than their American counterparts.

There’s something else I’ve discovered. The dirty secret is, foreign women actually despise American women. In my experience American girls are perceived (and rightly so, in my opinion) as spoiled, unsophisticated, un-feminine, and selfish, and unable to please a man.

Also, many of the Hispanic and European girls I know secretly make fun of American women who date African-American guys.

So much for the “sisterhood”!

08-25-2006 04:54 PM

Re: Foreign Wives
shovel
Regular Contributor
shovel
Hedgie, from what I’ve seen on here, your personality is probably going to attract some heinous women, no matter where they’re from. So it doesn’t surprise me that women from your personal experience would hate other women, American or otherwise. Am I correct to assume some of them are even racist??

Sorry, your “catfight” theory doesn’t apply to NORMAL women. I probably have more international friends than you do in my social circles, and they don’t seem to have a problem with other women, even Americans.

And no, spontaneous make-out sessions don’t erupt from catfights…just wanted to clear that one up for you while we’re on the subject.

08-25-2006 05:15 PM

Re: Foreign Wives
toadman
Regular Contributor
toadman

“The dirty secret is, foreign women actually despise American women. In my experience American girls are perceived (and rightly so, in my opinion) as spoiled, unsophisticated, un-feminine, and selfish, and unable to please a man.”

———-
Absolutely true. Unmarried American woman have an  “ewww” stygma, let alone a single career woman who are the amongst the loneliest world business travelers to this day. Blame it on attitude and largely media. Lovely and single Carmen in Costa Rica or Chile looks at Desperate Housewives with mouth agape along with her family.

08-25-2006 05:23 PM

Re: Foreign Wives
Hedgie
Regular Contributor
Hedgie

Shovel:

I wouldn’t say foreign women in my experience “hate” American women. That’s too strong. It’s probably more accurate to say they consider American girls beneath contempt. There’s also an element of pity.

And who wouldn’t feel sorry for career women? Judging by the replies on this discussion board, American career women are clearly an unhappy group.

I guess “having it all” has its downside, eh ladies?

08-25-2006 05:50 PM

Re: Foreign Wives
yohan
Contributor
yohan

I like these above comments. They are true.

I recommend dating foreign women, who are living outside the USA to every man, who is interested into marriage.

Of course US-feminists do not like that, they want to control, how an US-man is choosing his wife, IMBRA, a new regulation within VAWA is the best example.

However it is still you, the American gentleman, who decides, whom to marry and whom to reject. Do not care about such ‘arguments’ like ‘being a loser’ or ‘buying a foreign sex-slave’ – this is all baseless nonsense-talk.

I did so 30 years ago, and I never regretted that decision. I am still married, never divorced…

08-25-2006 05:54 PM

Re: Foreign Wives
shovel
Regular Contributor
shovel
Shovel:

I wouldn’t say foreign women in my experience “hate” American women. That’s too strong. It’s probably more accurate to say they consider American girls beneath contempt. There’s also an element of pity.

And who wouldn’t feel sorry for career women? Judging by the replies on this discussion board, American career women are clearly an unhappy group.

I guess “having it all” has its downside, eh ladies?

Again, it’s all about the company you keep. Of course a person like yourself is going to attract women with such sentiments; simply being “foreign” doesn’t make one immune to personality disorders. There are delightful women (and men) all over the world…you just don’t seem to be hanging out with the quality ones.

In fact, lots of my particular foreign female friends scratch their heads at how American women can put up with some American men. But then again, the grass is greener anywhere you go.

I don’t know – lots of you Career Boys seem pretty miserable yourselves. I can’t imagine you would be particularly happy is someone judged you for career choices based on gender.

08-25-2006 06:54 PM

Re: Foreign Wives
PolishKnight
Contributor
PolishKnight

I don’t know – lots of you Career Boys seem pretty miserable yourselves. I can’t imagine you would be particularly happy is someone judged you for career choices based on gender.

No?  Really?  Women judging men based upon their “career” choices or job?  Who would have ever heard of such a thing!

It’s incredible you should make such a statement and revealing how such women are agasp that men might have “egos” and think they’re entitled to something out of a relationship other than providing cash and doing dishes.

08-25-2006 09:54 PM

Re: Foreign Wives
Hedgie
Regular Contributor
Hedgie

Shovel:

Just remember:

The next time you’re out at a club and you see a tall, handsome, blue-eyed American guy with his arms around a dark, curvy, smiling, Hispanic woman (or two), that’s me. And if we start laughing and pointing, rest assured we’re not laughing and pointing at your fat *ss, or your ridiculous K-Mart fashion sense, or your chubby, pasty American career woman face.

08-25-2006 10:16 PM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Foreign Wives

Re: Foreign Wives
shovel
Regular Contributor
shovel
Darling, I’ll most likely be with my Brazilian-Japanese husband. In fact, would behoove you not to point and laugh at my (rather fantastic) ass, since he wouldn’t care for that too much. But then again, I don’t socialize with petty people who need to make fun of strangers to feel better about themselves.

Don’t worry about my taste in fashion, because it’s definitely better than yours. Some of my best friends are designers, and the rest are mostly creative types. Most importantly, they respect women no matter how they choose to live their lives.

08-25-2006 11:37 PM

Re: Foreign Wives
Pelican
Regular Contributor
Pelican

I wouldn’t say foreign women in my experience “hate” American women. That’s too strong. It’s probably more accurate to say they consider American girls beneath contempt. There’s also an element of pity.

And who wouldn’t feel sorry for career women? Judging by the replies on this discussion board, American career women are clearly an unhappy group.

I guess “having it all” has its downside, eh ladies?

Oh, for heaven’s sake. Foreign women do not disdain American women, what a ridiculousl blanket statement. In the countries I’ve lived, those same “hating” women have embraced me and been fantastic friends, much like fellow American women have been in the US.

Have you ever thought that this disdain might be women picking up your obvious hatred of US women and then using it to chat you up? Bonding through a common enemy, etc? Honestly.

08-26-2006 04:07 AM

Re: Foreign Wives
PolishKnight
Contributor
PolishKnight
I never got the impression that foreign women made fun of American women because that’s not their style. They had an opinion which was expressed in a neutral matter-of-factly manner moreso than in condscending or contempt and privately. They think Americans in general are fatty but they especially notice it in women even in their own culture. They like to fuss about _everything_ down to style and how people keep their homes. So they are fanatical about housecleaning and how they dress. They tend to dress moreso to attract men rather than American women who dress to fit into business situations and to impress other women.

On the other hand, mention “foreign bride” to the average US woman and you can practically hear the hissing sound similar to bringing a kitten home to introduce it to the cat: “They’re just out for a green card and will dump him soon after!” or “They’ll become Americanized and spoiled before you know it.” (Hmmm, does this mean that they acknowledge that American women are spoiled?) Or “they only marry losers no normal woman would want.” (Wait, if American women don’t like losers, why are they having so many **bleep** children for deadbeats?)

08-26-2006 09:24 AM

Re: Foreign Wives
yohan
Contributor
yohan

Foreign brides are not welcome in the USA. Most US-women consider a foreign woman as her nanny or cleaning staff, for sure something far below themselves.

After a feminist campagne, IMBRA was added to VAWA to restrict the search for a foreign wife by US-citizens. It is not easy to bring your foreign wife into USA, a serious paperwork and an expensive and time-consuming way to go.

There are 10000s of American men, who try it out nevertheless.

But why do they look for a wife far away?
There should be a reason for that.

08-26-2006 11:31 AM

Re: Foreign Wives
JaB
Visitor
JaB
All the blanket statements in this thread (forum, even) have really made me feel queasy. Projecting your prejudices on groups of people–who you probably know little to nothing about–does not a winning argument make.

This will probably be ignored in favor of calling all Career Women **bleep**-eating man-hating femi-nazis, or saying that most US Women consider foreign women as sub-human. Jesus CHRIST.

What creeps me out is a guy who looks for a wife who doesn’t speak a lick of his language. I have a hard time imagining a healthy relationship come out of that.

08-26-2006 08:24 PM

Re: Foreign Wives
yohan
Contributor
yohan

JaB:
First of all you should not ignore all these man-hating statements from feminists.
They exist and you are doing nothing to reject women, who are publishing them and promoting hate against all men and even against male children.

Career women should show up with a strong voice to reject all these radical feminist slogans and reject women, who are producing these slanders.

If you are a woman and unwilling to do that, you cannot find any healthy relationship with men.

It is not the job of the foreign girl by the way, to learn his language. If you are a responsible man you should not hesitate to study the culture and native language of your foreign wife.

Interracial married since 30 years, I know what US women are thinking about a Western husband, a foreign (Asian) wife and their children. No need to teach me a lesson….

Message Edited by yohan on 08-27-2006 12:57 PM

08-26-2006 10:55 PM

Re: Foreign Wives
JaB
Visitor
JaB
I don’t mean to ignore any of it; my beef is that some of the comments and arguments from people on this forum have been just as bad, if not worse, than the few radical feminist arguments I’ve read.

I would consider myself a feminist–but before someone tries to set me on fire through the internet, I’d like to say that I believe there are MANY different degrees of feminism. I believe that women should have the same opportunities that men do, and that they should not be seen or treated as inferior or sub-human beings just because they have a uterus and breasts. I don’t think men should have to “suffer for their past sins” or some bull**bleep** like that, I just hate to see women devalued as thinking, living humans.

I do not feel that I, or any woman who is independently providing for herself, should be obligated to publicly reject hate-mongering feminists. I don’t hate men at all, and honestly, I’ve yet to see an example of the hate-mongering writing everyone continues to drop and yet fails to cite. I know it exists, but an example would help me see where the person is coming from. Right now, it just comes off as violent “WOMEN ARE EVIL DIRTY WHORES” kneejerks with little to back it up.

There’s also the fact that I fail to see where men are being so terribly victimized. Again, examples and sources really would be appreciated–I’m being honest, here!

I don’t put stock in ANY radical or hate-mongering opinions or arguments, which is the reason so many threads on this topic are appalling to me.

(Didn’t mean to imply anything about your marriage–I know there are MANY successful cross-culture relationships and marriages.)

yohan wrote:

JaB:

First of all you should not ignore all these man-hating statements from feminists.

They exist and you are doing nothing to reject women, who are publishing them and promoting hate against all men and even against male children.

Career women should show up with a strong voice to reject all these radical feminist slogans and reject women, who are producing these slanders.

If you are a woman and unwilling to do that, you cannot find any healthy relationship with men.

It is not the job of the foreign girl by the way, to learn his language. If you are a responsible man you should not hesitate to study the culture and native language of your foreign wife.

Interracial married since 30 years, I know what US women are thinking about a Western husband, a foreign (Asian) wife and their children. No need to teach me a lesson….

Message Edited by yohan on 08-27-2006 12:57 PM

08-26-2006 11:36 PM

Re: Foreign Wives
yohan
Contributor
yohan

<
JaB:
I do not feel that I, or any woman who is independently providing for herself, should be obligated to publicly reject hate-mongering feminists. I don’t hate men at all, and honestly, I’ve yet to see an example of the hate-mongering writing everyone continues to drop and yet fails to cite. I know it exists, but an example would help me see where the person is coming from. >

http://forbes.lithium.com/forbes/board/message?board.id=respond_marry_career_woman&message.id=768

A SMALL collection of man-hating quotes by feminists can be found here.
Please read the first 2 postings of the thread mentioned above.

If you need more sources and more quotes, please let me know. As I said, this is only a SMALL collection.

Women should reject radical feminists and consider them as outsiders.

If you feel no reason to do so, you should be not surprised, that in return men do not consider you as a trustworthy female promoting equality.

Message Edited by yohan on 08-27-2006 02:09 PM

08-26-2006 11:52 PM

Re: Foreign Wives
Hedgie
Regular Contributor
Hedgie

The foreign girls of my acquaintance, primarily Hispanics and Europeans, clearly do feel sorry for American women, who in their view lead such cold, unhappy lives.

There is a lot of pity, but also ridicule. They make fun of the fat American girls who pride themselves on their expensive education and independence, yet who complain they can’t get a man.

Also, American women are perceived as unfeminine.

I guess the truth hurts.

08-27-2006 12:04 PM

Re: Foreign Wives
Pelican
Regular Contributor
Pelican
Amusingly, I’m a better cook than most of the foreign women I know — my ExPat Thanksgivings are events of legend.

I can only assume that the women you speak of are women from Europe who now live in America. And they’re welcome to their opinion, but there are plenty of not-so-shiny examples on their own home turf.

Step out of the continental US for a couple of years, get some actual perspective. Surely the women you know have no reason to be talking themselves up at the cost of their local rivals?

08-27-2006 08:10 PM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Foreign Wives

Re: Foreign Wives
yohan
Contributor
yohan

Pelican, sorry, but we do not need American girls!
Please read the report from the newspaper THE NATION, Bangkok, Thailand
Who needs US-radial feminists?
Mr. Noer is correct with his research.
——————————————————————

Foreign husbands pay off for Thais

27 August 2006.
Cross-cultural marriages between Thai women and foreign men are better received in Thai communities, a recent study has revealed, with northeastern villagers in particular praising their foreign sons-in-law for better supporting their new Thai family.

With many northeastern villages organising “Bai Sri Soo Kwan” blessing ceremonies for foreign husbands during the Thai New Year festival, Asst Professor Buaphan Promphak-ping of Khon Kaen University called this a meaningful honour resulting from a cultural change in Thai communities.

The National Culture Commis-sion Office sponsored a study on “cross-cultural marriages of Thai women in the northeastern region” to investigate cultural changes in Thai rural areas resulting from such marriages.

Twelve Thai women – from one community with Western-Thai marriages and three communities with Eastern-Thai marriages (husbands from Hong Kong and Japan) – took part in the study.

Most of the women married to Western men had been married before, to Thai men, and most had intentionally sought a new foreign husband, the study revealed.

The wives of Asian men were either divorcees or previously single and most had met their husbands through serendipity.

The women’s ages when they married ranged from 19 to 47 and none had used the Internet as a means to meet their husband due to a lack of computer literacy.

Following marriage, the women’s financial status had improved, with foreign husbands bringing steady income to the family, the study said. The marriages also brought the women more respect from neighbours, enabling them to move up the social ladder in their community.

The marriages were accepted within the communities and even encouraged by the women’s relatives, as they were seen as a way to gain income. Foreign sons-in-law were better able to financially support the family than Thai husbands, the study said.

Udon Thani villager Supira TraiPhu, 42, said she had been married to a German national, Peter Volk, for nearly 15 years and initially lived with him in Germany. Four years ago they moved back to Thailand as Supira was worried about her teenage son – fathered by her previous Thai husband – and because her German husband had retired from work.

The family built a Bt2-million house, the biggest in the village, and had gained the respect of the neighbours, she said.

“At first, the neighbours were critical of my bringing a foreign husband home, but then they realised we did not cause them any trouble and brought good things here, so everyone wanted to talk with my husband and invite him to join their merit-making activities and parties,” she said.

With her husband’s pension of about Bt20,000 a month to support the family, she said they lived happily and comfortably enough.

Describing her husband as a good and understanding man, Supira said all her relatives were happy and her Thai son loved and obeyed his stepfather as much as he did his mother.

“If I were to have another chance to choose a husband, I would choose Peter again because he is wonderful and treats me nicely,” Supira said.

Khamdee Phromlee, 70, a Roi Et villager who had recently gained a British son-in-law, said she did not mind her daughter marrying a foreigner if she loved him and he loved and treated her well.

Speaking no English at all, Khamdee said the downside of having a foreign son-in-law was the difficulty in communication, but her daughter’s family now lived and ran a restaurant in Prachuap Khiri Khan’s Hua Hin district and only visited her once in a while.

She recalled that her daughter’s marriage ceremony was a grand occasion admired by neighbours. Khamdee said she was not certain that if she had a Thai son-in-law, they would have had the chance to hold such a wedding ceremony in a five-star hotel.

Khamdee said her daughter had lived a difficult life following a break-up with her Thai husband, who left her with their nine-year-old child to raise alone.

“Supporting an ageing mother while raising her kid as a single mother was not easy,” she said, adding that since her daughter married her British husband, her life had been comfortable, running their restaurant with many employees.

—end of text—

08-28-2006 10:58 AM

Re: Foreign Wives
Pelican
Regular Contributor
Pelican
So you all want to marry foreign women with children from a previous marriage, then actually move TO their home country (which is not the same as many here state in importing a bride to the US), and be seen as the extended family as the breadwinner for the whole family? I mean, you did see that the main thing those families liked about the foreign husbands was their money, which can be explained most easily as currency fluctuation.

If that is the life you want, that’s absolutely fine — it’s clear you wanted to live abroad in a Thai village, and trying to marry and permanently export an American wife to a region of the world where woman professionals aren’t accepted probably won’t be greeted with cheers of enthusiasm.

It does confuse me, though, that you’re all suddenly willing to marry women with children from a previous marriage, as the women in that article seem to be.

08-28-2006 04:56 PM

Re: Foreign Wives
yohan
Contributor
yohan

You are talking such a lot of nonsense.
Do you really think, all foreign wives are poor and living in a Thai village riding on an elephant with her children from a previous marriage?

I am living in Tokyo since 30 years with my Japanese wife…my wife had no children. Still married…we have 2 daughters already grown up.

A lot of US-men are looking for a foreign wife, it is not because of economic reasons. It is for the reason to reject the US-power- and money-greedy feminists completely and to create a peaceful family with a low risk of divorce.

We do not need a woman as wife, who will always consider her husband and her children less important than her job. Not even willing to try.

Feminists do not like US-men, who are looking for foreign wives, but why should we care about what you like or not?

09-03-2006 11:00 PM

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