Don’t Marry Career Men


——————————————————————————-
Don’t Marry Career Men
rtennant

What a misogynistic load of crap. I don’t even know where to begin in responding to this, except to say that many of the criticisms leveled at career women go double for career men. To single out career women, especially when women remain repressed, underpaid, under appreciated and exploited in this society is sexist and irresponsible. Shame on you!

Message Edited by rtennant on 08-23-2006 12:30 PM

08-23-2006 02:21 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
JosieNutter

I agree, the overall tone (even if meant tongue in cheek) is pretty offensive.

This writer’s energy would have been better spent on an article about the difficulties of balancing family with career in today’s world.

Instead, what was covered was done so in a way I found to be narrow minded and outdatedly misogynistic.

I really expect better of Forbes and its writers.

08-23-2006 02:28 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
ficara

I hope this article is a parody, but I suspect that it isn’t. One way or the other, it’s a truly ludicrous waste of time unworthy of a supposedly serious magazine.

08-23-2006 02:33 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
boxdin

Slightly overstated in some areas, but generally quite accurate. Its a shame the above women and others are incapable of seeing this issue as it really is.

08-23-2006 02:36 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
WorkingWoman

Let me guess…you’re a man?

08-23-2006 02:38 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
rtennant

I love that comment: “the above women”. I’m a man, and your assumption that because I strongly objected to this article means I must be female is part of the problem. I rest my case.

08-23-2006 02:39 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
ssejsllew

This article is the worst kind of journalism: opinion parading as fact.

My issue with the article is not AT ALL with the numbers. It’s how they are being manipulated, and the incorrect conclusions that are drawn from them. An article isn’t scientific or correct just because it has statistics and refers to studies.

For example, here are some reasonable, agenda-free parts of the article:

“Nobel laureate Gary S. Becker argued that when the labor specialization in a marriage decreases–if, for example, both spouses have careers–the overall value of the marriage is lower for both partners because less of the total needed work is getting done, making life harder for both partners and divorce more likely. And, indeed, empirical studies have concluded just that.”

“The other reason a career can hurt a marriage will be obvious to anyone who has seen their mate run off with a co-worker: When your spouse works outside the home, chances increase they’ll meet someone they like more than you.”

“According to a wide-ranging review of the published literature, highly educated people are more likely to have had extra-marital sex (those with graduate degrees are 1.75 more likely to have cheated than those with high school diplomas.) Additionally, individuals who earn more than $30,000 a year are more likely to cheat.”

“Wealthier couples with children suffer a drop in marital satisfaction three times as great as their less affluent peers. ”

Interesting that the author takes THAT information and come up with statements like this:

– Just, whatever you do, don’t marry a woman with a career.
– She is more likely to cheat on you.
– If you do have kids, your wife is more likely to be unhappy.

When he could also have concluded that:

– Wealthy people are less happy in marriages.
– When both spouses work, it can be harder and lead to divorce.
– People who have jobs are more likely to cheat.
– If your husband has a job, he’s more likely to cheat on you.
– If you have kids, he will be unhappy.

There are SO many flaws in this opinion piece masquerading as an article that it makes my head spin. The only conclusion I can draw from it is “Don’t Read Forbes.”

08-23-2006 02:46 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
sensenet

Boxdin should get himself a mail-order bride. He’s obviously threatened by any female whose brain- or earning-power might eclipse his.

08-23-2006 02:48 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
cweil

I assume that the person who ‘assumed’ that everyone who would take offense to this article are embittered career women is quite happy with his submissive mail order bride who spends her time barefoot and pregnant cleaning up after him all day long.

This article was offensive on so many levels. Why wasn’t there a counter article about why women elect to not marrying career men who have no time to spend at home with their families or spouse?

You could easily parody why very few self-respecting women would like to be married to the types of career-driven, egotistical, money-obsessed men (cut from the Donald Trump mold) who will shirk on 99% of family obligations just to divorce you for an even younger trophy floozy at some point down the road?!?

08-23-2006 02:55 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
boxdin

Regardless of what sex who is, men, especially white men are regularly trashed in our society today. This has not happened by accident. I am a white man, and I have two sons (ages 27 & 29). I cringe when my sons could have had this opportunity or that opportunity, a scholarship here or there, or countless other benefits if they were a minority, or Women. Clearly this is true. I’m not complaining, because we were taught to succeed by busting butt and working harder than the other person. And we do.

After two marriages to white career women, who both left and returned repeatedly, because they needed to find themselves (?) I found and married an amazing women from the Philippines. I am in awe of her. She has a 4 yr degree in business, has a career, but also values her marriage and home.
I know this is way off subject, but its part of a whole picture of our state of society in the US today.

08-23-2006 02:55 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
cweil

Of course, he’s got a Filipino mail order bride. Hilariously stereotypical. Maybe we should assume she married him for the US residency?

08-23-2006 03:00 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
areyoukidding

Boxdin do you honestly believe that if your former wives didn’t have careers you’d still be married to them.

08-23-2006 03:03 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
boxdin

This is exactly what I meant; Not much discussion going on here, just trashing of men. Calling my wife a “mail order bride”, nothing could be more wrong, or hurtful and intended to “put down”.
Remind me who was small minded again ???

08-23-2006 03:07 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
ssejsllew

The thing is, Boxdin, that there is an intelligent and rational argument against this article and its many stupidities and it has nothing to do with you and your comments.

Scroll back to the first page and read what I wrote, please. I’d love to hear your response.

08-23-2006 03:10 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
MaireadL1

No one’s life is easy, but it is indisputable that white men have it better off than anyone else.
You have white privilege.
You have male privilege
If you are lucky you even have heterosexual privilege.
You have more personal and financial opportunities than any other group, you make more money than any other group, you aren’t stereotyped for being lazy or stupid or weak. Have you ever been raped or trapped in an abusive relationship or harassed by the police because of your skin color? Have you ever watched less qualified people pass you for a job or a table at a restaurant because of your gender or ethnicity?
I could go on and on, but I have to go work twice as hard as my male colleagues now in order to get the same level of respect.
I recommend finding some black women to complain to about how hard it is to be a white man and seeing what they say.

08-23-2006 03:14 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
once

Boxdin, it might be true that both of your now ex-wives have career in common, but you know what else they have in common? A failed relationship with you. Understandably, it is their fault, whomever chooses to marry a whiner that blames the world for his shortcomings is obviously at fault. But, they were smart enough to reconsider, kudos to them. As for your sons, I truly feel sorry for them if they learned to look at the world through your eyes.

It is very sad that this article saw the light of day. I plan to never buy Forbes again – I might read it in the library, the dentist office or from friend, but my hard-earned career money will not contribute to your bottom line again and neither will my husband’s. And with current state of publishing, I bet that editors everywhere will agree that every subscriber counts.

08-23-2006 03:28 PM

——————————————————————————-
What Sort Of Man Reads Forbes?
ficara

It’s amusing that you believe that only women would find this article offensive. I’m not a woman. Some of us guys do not get our ideas about gender roles from Playboy Magazine, or for that matter, from Forbes.

08-23-2006 03:41 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: What Sort Of Man Reads Forbes?
boxdin

I promise I’ll drop this now, but I’ve got to respond to MaireadL1, ficara & rtennant;

MaireadL1…A. Indisputable, hardly, I live in New Mexico where Hispanic Men have ruled for centuries

B. Lucky to be hereto; Yes

C. Refer to #1

D. Abused yes by two ex’s who both claimed bi-polar, both took various anti -depressants according to Dr. orders at the time.

Reply to Once; You are jumping to stunning conclusions; All wrong by a mile. Look at the malice, degradation and hate you are spewing.. amazing

Once and rtennant; Have you ever heard Rush talk about “The new Castaratti”
Look into it. Its not your fault, rather a coordinated effort to “change”.

Peace Out

08-23-2006 03:52 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: What Sort Of Man Reads Forbes?
MaireadL1

No one said that only women would find this article offensive. We all know that there are good men out there who know what is up. Props to you for being one of them.
Gosh, men can be so sensitive!

08-23-2006 03:54 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
symph9

ok, so i think the dude on this chain has a serious chip on his shoulder as a white man…completely subjective (and relevant), but, dude, as a white man you are still infinitely more privileged in this society, compared to women, people of color…stop complaining and teach your boys not to have the same chip that you have.

one thing of note, however, since i am a filipina woman — born in the philippines, but raised in the us since i was 9 yrs old, i take offense to the insta-assumption that his wife is a “filipino mail order bride.” this is reactionary bullsh&t that frankly renders everything else intelligent you said before meaningless. be strong and don’t stoop to the sub-standard level to which this article has descended.

08-23-2006 04:24 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
schamber

No offense, friends, but I think you’re muddying the waters with all of this talk of white privilege and male privilege. Argue with mail order bride guy by attacking the essentials of his argument: that it’s perfectly fine for him to expect his wife(ves) to have no identity outside of Home, Hearth, Chillun, and, of course, his own desires. After all, if we’re to take this article literally, women shouldn’t even have hobbies that might interfere with their hometendin’ responsibilities. Wasn’t it established some time ago that women actually do have souls?

As Stendhal said, women’s education is beneficial to women, but also to men, who will have the advantage of a wife with whom they can share their thoughts and desires without the need for condescension. I don’t know about the rest of the ladies on this thread, but my husband would probably tire of me quickly if all I did was raise children, vacuum, and get regular manicures. I’m encouraged by the fact that this attitude seems to be much more common among men than it ever was (boxdin and Noer excepted).

08-23-2006 04:37 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
ficara

Do the misogynists on this thread still want to defend this ludicrous article, now that Forbes has yanked it from the web site? Or is this “generally quite accurate” article being removed by “new Castaratti” (the hilarious spelling is boxdin’s, not mine, or perhaps it’s Rush Limbaugh’s) who run Forbes? Face it, guys, it was a piece of trash more appropriate for a bathroom wall than a business magazine, and even Forbes has realized it. Give it up; the rest of us can’t even keep a straight face about this idiocy anymore.

08-23-2006 08:02 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
Back2TheKitchen

ficara said,

“Do the misogynists on this thread still want to defend this ludicrous article, now that Forbes has yanked it from the web site? Or is this “generally quite accurate” article being removed by “new Castaratti” (the hilarious spelling is boxdin’s, not mine, or perhaps it’s Rush Limbaugh’s) who run Forbes? Face it, guys, it was a piece of trash more appropriate for a bathroom wall than a business magazine, and even Forbes has realized it. Give it up; the rest of us can’t even keep a straight face about this idiocy anymore.”

This article is tame compared to the misandry presented in the media.

Have you not noticed the man bashing in our culture?

Have you become so accustomed to it that you’re desensitized to it?

Or are you simply applying a typical double standard so commonplace in our anti-male / anti-father culture?

08-24-2006 10:16 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
ansicht6

My mum is a doctor and she never had an extra marital affair(even though my father who was in the Army was posted everywhere but close to us), i never lived in a dirty home and my parents will soon celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary.

My father often tells me and my elder sister(i’m the youngest among three girls)that one day we’ll get married and we should be just like our mum. She balanced both her family and career perfectly. If she has done it, i am sure here are women who can too or are already doin so.

My eldest sister could have a great career after completing her graduation in a design related field but decided to be a homemaker coz her husband wanted it that way. At that moment she did it to make him happy, but gradually frustration build up and she began to take it out on her husband in several ways. Now she is trying to get a job, i don’t know what my brother in law thinks of it …!

When i first met my boyfriend, he preferred to have a woman who would stay at home. What i found amazing was he said this even though his parents are divorced and had it not been for his not been mum who had a steady job, he wouldn’t be where he is today because his father hasn’t helped them in any monetary way.

I have met so many women who gave up their careers after marriage and gave their families top priority. Each one of them warn me not to make the same mistake!

I believe to each his own. These women may regret not pursuing their careers because they suppressed their dreams. But there are also women who have no problems giving up their careers and those who never really wanted one.

My father always says to us girls “For a woman having a job is not only important for her career wise but also because she should never be dependent on a man for anything. Tomorrow if he falls ill, who will pay the bills? And what if he leaves you? Nothing in life is certain and every woman must look after herself.”

To want a woman who stays home is not wrong but to expect all women to want this from within is. Because a woman who stifles her own dreams cant hide her unfulfilled desires forever. She may manage home to the best to her capabilities and up to her mans expectations but would a man who loves his wife want her to be unhappy?

08-25-2006 06:23 AM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
Diogetrix

Same old lies, same old manipulations, same old belief that a fem can get away with any sophistry and any rudeness because there will always be a need or desire for her ass. Well, that works only when she is young and pretty, or when a society’s dynamics between men and women has made us trusting and mutually caring and respectful of one another. Feminist-lesbian extremism has destroyed that social relationship, and time has made that pretty ass pretty worthless.

08-30-2006 04:47 AM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
leeraconteur

To single out career women, especially when women remain repressed, underpaid, underappreciated and exploited in this society is sexist and irresponsible.

Women in The United States are not repressed, are not underpaid, are not underappreciated, and are not exploited.

These old canards of The Left simply don’t work anymore.

09-11-2006 01:34 PM

——————————————————————————-
Re: Don’t Marry Career Men
khankrumthebulg

I have the Male privileged of: being 94% of the gender who dies on the job. Of being 3 times as likely to die violently, of being likely to be 50% more likely to die of Cancer, of being the Gender that supports the gender that has 85% of retail space devoted exclusively to Women. Of being likely to be 85% of suicides, being homeless, being incarcerated, being killed in combat during War. Males the disposable Gender.

Yes Black Males and Hispanic Males are treated even worse than White Males. And are more likely to drop out of our Feminized Schools. To be vilified as criminals, thugs, and the dregs of society. The rest of it is pure nonsense. Absent to in the “violence” against Women argument. Is the recent study by the Aussies showing Women are more violent than Men. Their Media is hardly mentioning this. Especially since the study was conducted by and questions asked by Women.

The Feminist tactic of repeating a lie over and over again. Is one learned from Goebbels. Propaganda Minister of Nazi Germany. Men are not as misinformed as you suppose. And are no longer willing to be silent.

09-18-2006 03:13 PM

——————————————————————————-

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: