Beyond logic


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Beyond logic

Beyond logic
Greenie
Visitor
Greenie

Noer’s argument is spackled together with gross generalizations culled from studies all of us should take a grain of salt with since he conveniently omitted the sources.

For years, men have ballyhooed “market” work – assigning greater value to market versus domestic work and now that women have caught up in the professional sphere, men are decrying women’s preoccupation at work and dismissal of in-house work. Whichever way you frame it, Noer is arguing a moot point. One way or other men will not be satisfied with a woman of a wholly domestic or professional orientation. Also, men have faced the same evils: long hours, temptation of intelligent, attractive female peers, distraction from family, dissatifaction with partners formed only in the domestic setting – lack of compatibility as a by-product of dichotomous worlds of work and home often initiating divorce, engaging in extramarital affairs and consciously or unconsciously relegating their relationships and children second to career aspirations. Now Noer is crying foul because the tables have been turned and women no longer “hang” on to cheating spouses, absent husbands and/or fathers and preoccupied breadwinners. Also, he should take a look at the mounting literature on the benefits of attachment from child to father, the positive studies on compatibility between partners who share professional experiences and domestic responsibilities.

The world is shifting both at work and at home and like it or not, men are going to have to “adapt” to the changes just as women have in going from home to work back to home. Marital success seems likely when both parties are willing to compromise and seek the right balance to satisfy the individual’s personal needs of accomplishment (whether in the domestic or professional sphere) and in caring for the needs of a marriage and family.

08-25-2006 12:14 PM

Re: Beyond logic
Antiriad
Regular Contributor
Antiriad
What makes you think that men are “going to have to” adapt? As someone else pointed out here, there are 3.5 billion other women to choose from in the world. Look around and you might find that men are increasingly voting with their feet.

08-25-2006 03:04 PM

Re: Beyond logic
Greenie
Visitor
Greenie

You are right. Men can choose to adapt or not. They do not have to marry career women and can certainly select from the vast numbers of women interested in solely in marrying and reproducing.

This is less an argument on career women and men over parity in power and that almost always comes to a head in any relationship when ANY decisions are to be made – from decision making to child rearing or any compromise, men intolerant of a woman’s desire to change, to seek financial power and independence or to stay home at will is a sign of one’s rigidity and lack of flexibility in considering the needs of their counterparts. So don’t adapt. Some men have lost jobs, suffered dibilitating injuries or illnesses preventing them from providing for their family and as a result can not rely, depend on thier wives to learn the ropes of the world – to adapt herself. Some cons to that end…

Always many facets to an argument.

08-25-2006 03:28 PM

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