Go ahead, keep kidding yourselves!


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Go ahead, keep kidding yourselves!

Go ahead, keep kidding yourselves!
SGraziani
Newbie
SGraziani

Be a career woman…climb the ladder…but then don’t be selfish and bring children into the world.

Go ahead and put on your fancy business suit, Mom.  I’ll make sure you’re children are chaperoned on school field trips.  I’ll supply all the food and entertainment for classroom parties, while you have your “power lunch” that day.  And it’s ok if you have to work late, I’ll go ahead and take your child to soccer practice with my child.

This has been MY LIFE for 20 years.

You are kidding yourself.  You are kidding yourself if you think you are somehow putting your child first in this equation.  They know it.  They know where they fall in your list of priorities.

That’s ok, though.  I got the hug on the field trip from YOUR child.  And it was worth double your “career woman” salary.

My final thought…My oldest is now 20.  I have no regrets.  When your elementary children are grown and gone…write your editorial then.

08-25-2006 08:30 AM

Re: Go ahead, keep kidding yourselves!
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias
Well said, SGraziani. There have always been career women. The difference between them and today’s driven, hyper-tense neurotics is that they didn’t expect to “have it all” – high flying career, Martha Stewart house, perfect children, SUV, all the plastic surgery she wants, plus the trophy husband who is smart, handsome, makes at least as much money as she does, pitches in with his share of the housework TO HER STANDARDS, and can whip up a great souffle on 10 minutes notice. They knew there were tradeoffs and what they got was bought to some extent by the things they gave up.

This whole tempest in a teapot here is a perfect example of what the author said. Thousands of women with hair triggers are ready to rip this guy’s face off because he points out that statistics indicate that career women have somewhat less stable marriages than more traditional women. Of course, they are so blinded by their stress from being on the treadmill at a dead run that they cannot see that their very responses indicate that they are the type of person that few men would want to be involved with anyway. Who wants to live with a ticking time bomb?

Saddest of all is the way that even the merest suggestion that a man might prefer a pleasant and supportive person as a life mate always gets distorted into having to pander to a “fragile male ego” – as if any question from “do you think this dress makes my ass look fat?” to “do you think she is prettier than I am?” doesn’t have a scripted answer which the man MUST give if he wants to avoid having one hell of a fight on his hands. And, who the hell wants to have to live through that on a continuous basis?

The good news is that these women “don’t need no mah-yaaan”, as they have been telling us for years. Oh, they might WANT us for a few years, as they are also fond of telling us. But, “want” is notoriously fickle while need tends to be more persistent – which is why marriages to women who are less fanatical about their “independence” tend to be more stable. As soon as the BBD – the Bigger Better Deal – comes along, they will be off to divorce court and a few lawyers will get to add to their billable hours.

So, I actually think it is great that so many women demand careers these days. That means they can support themselves. When their contentious personalities become too much to deal with on an ongoing basis the man need feel no guilt about moving on, and if they want to redecorate the house every 6 months because Martha has a new line coming out and they want to drive a luxury SUV, then they can easily do so because the money to pay for it is coming out of the hours of their own life – and not bought and paid for by the sweat and sacrifice of some man who thinks he is doing it as a way to show how much he loves her.

I don’t remember who is was that said “On their death bed, no one looks back and says ‘gee, I wish I had spent more time at the office.’ “, but it is huge truth.

Sounds like you have bought your happiness by knowing what is really important in life, instead of spending your life at a dead run chasing it but never catching it, and constantly wondering why you have so much in the material sense, but remain so unhappy.

08-25-2006 09:15 AM

Re: Go ahead, keep kidding yourselves!
crella
Regular Contributor
crella
‘Go ahead and put on your fancy business suit, Mom. I’ll make sure you’re children are chaperoned on school field trips. I’ll supply all the food and entertainment for classroom parties, while you have your “power lunch” that day. And it’s ok if you have to work late, I’ll go ahead and take your child to soccer practice with my child.

This has been MY LIFE for 20 years. ‘

*applause*

Someone else who understands. Every summer I had 20 kids, from 6-12 years old, instead of just one, like I did the rest of the year. My house was the one they came to for juice, bathroom calls, band-aids, or just because they wanted to tell somebody about the home run they hit.

I really enjoyed it. We lived in a brand-new development then, couples were all buying their first houses and so the mothers (about 80%) worked part-time ‘mother’s hours’. That still left the kids alone from 9-6 during summer vacation, the rest of the year they were all home before their kids. Word got around that I didn’t mind my grass trampled and didn’t mind the din, and so the little ones showed up one by one,shyly at first. They are all in their 20s now, but whenever one of them meets my son they always say’Say hi to your mum for me’

Being a wife and mother can be one of the most rewarding jobs on the planet. All you have to do is throw yourself into it.

08-30-2006 09:32 PM

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