Is it really that difficult to understand?


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Is it really that difficult to understand?

Is it really that difficult to understand?
MsKamau
Newbie
MsKamau

All I want to ask is, is it really difficult for a man to accept that a woman has aspirations, much like they do?  Many folks work because they have to, but in addition to that, there is the added satisfaction of being a contributing member of society.  Women should not be crucified for wanting to have a contribution outside of the home.  I would argue that women are more apt to contribute in a manner that is positive, much more than men do, but I don’t have the numbers on that so don’t bother asking.  So what if a woman doesn’t want to have children?  That to me is a responsible decision, it says to me that they have thought about what they want in their lives and children are not on that list for whatever reason.  People have a right to chose for themselves, so the age old arguments of whether women should stay home or go to work is ancient and no longer relevant.  What we need to address is where we go from here.  All families, regardless of who works and who doesn’t needs to have defined roles, an agreement needs to be made as to who will do what, otherwise things go undone, and the one who was traditionally responsible for those duties is blamed.

To the career man I will also say this, if you want a career woman, you will need to accept that at some point, that it is only fair that you do the share of ‘her’ work (housework), since she is doing some of your work (providing).

With that said, i’m ducking out of here.

Message Edited by MsKamau on 08-25-2006 09:17 AM

08-25-2006 12:12 PM

Re: Is it really that difficult to understand?
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias
“To the career man I will also say this, if you want a career woman, you will need to accept that at some point, that it is only fair that you do the share of ‘her’ work (housework), since she is doing some of your work (providing).”

At one time, I lived with a supposed “career woman” – a trained chef. Since it was in a house I already owned, and I was making more money than her, we settled on a token contribution from her of $100/month. Since I was used to taking care of all my own laundry, I continued to do the household laundry – towels, bedding that sort of thing. I had a cleaning service for the basic housekeeping. Her responsibilities were: 1) shopping and cooking (I always cleaned up) 2) her own clothing and personal items.

In the slightly less than 2 years we lived together, not once did she have enough money to pay the agreed-upon $100. She did, however, have enough money to purchase 2 AKC registered dogs, both of which had health problems that amounted to over $6,000 in vet bills.

Her “fragile female ego” was so “threatened” by my domestic competence that she would attempt to climb on my back and tell me how to do everything, clear down to frying an egg.

One time we got into a screaming match over how I was folding the towels. As I said, I did ALL the household laundry, and was basically folding the towels on autopilot while I thought about other things. Now, my position is that the person actually doing the work has the say in HOW it gets done. But, the control game being played here was “you do the work, but I get to tell you HOW to do it.” I don’t play that.

The argument over HOW they got folded quickly escalated and I asked her just what was such a big deal about how towels sitting behind the door of the linen closet were folded. Her answer was unbelievable – “Well, because ***I*** like things neat and clean” – implying that I was a complete slob. Now, this argument was taking place in a bedroom with no less than 3 piles of HER dirty clothes on the floor plus a huge pile of her shoes. But, those **bleep** towels that neither of us would see for more than the few seconds it would take to grab a new one had to be folded EXACTLY to her specifications. It was nothing but a stupid little power game.

So, spare me your business about “sharing housework.” Not all men are neanderthals who sit around in their underwear watching football and scratching their hairy beer bellies.

All this screaming war of stereotypes does is polarize the issues even farther and assure that fewer people will find compatible mates regardless of their earnings status.

Message Edited by zacharias on 08-25-2006 12:45 PM

08-25-2006 12:31 PM

Re: Is it really that difficult to understand?
shovel
Regular Contributor
shovel
All I want to ask is, is it really difficult for a man to accept that a woman has aspirations, much like they do?

Zach, you didn’t answer the question.

08-25-2006 03:47 PM

Re: Is it really that difficult to understand?
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias
“Zach, you didn’t answer the question.”

That was intentional. I make my own choices and respond to what I choose.

08-25-2006 04:02 PM

==============================================================================
Click on the board or message subject at the top to return.

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: