Reality For The Narrow Minded


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Reality For The Narrow Minded

Reality For The Narrow Minded
Zoltra
Visitor
Zoltra

I couldn’t believe what I was reading hearing about how threatened this guy was by a successful women. The only thing I can say about him is what a small man to have to elevate himself to a position where his wife is financially trapped to him in order for him to be happy. Then he touts some ridiculous statement about how the women are the ones that are happier. I’ve got news for you pal- any man that keeps his wife at home and doesn’t allow her the option to develop her own talents and abilities in life has a ticking time bomb on their hands. What about all the older women (our parents age) that have left their husbands in their later years because they can’t stand them anymore now that they are retired- newsflash, they couldn’t stand them for years before that either. Just because a women stays in a marriage because she is financially unable to leave, doesn’t mean she is happy or will forever remain in a supportive role that revolves around her husband.  Women are able to find happiness in other things besides their marriage, their children, friends, family, hobbies, etc. So while their marriage may be unhappy, they are able to endure it finding joy in other areas.  However, opportunity may present itself for them to move on- which many do.  I, however, have an extremely happy marriage and I earn over 200K a year as CEO of my own highly successful high tech business. I also have raised 2 kids 100% on my own, kept us living at a level so they could experience the good upbringing I did, and continue to support them as I can now that they are in their 20’s. My husband and I have been married almost 5 years and I make considerably more money than him. I didn’t marry him for money, I married him because I love him and I love his personality. My income also allows us to experience things most people are unable to and have things many people struggle to attain. We have less strain in our marriage about money matters because they are minimal. Our house is clean, because I clean it. I also take care of my garden and other household matters and make sure our other day to day responsibilities are done.  My husband also contributes to the effort to keep our home in order.  They may not get done perfectly, but they get done. I treat my husband respectfully because he deserves it and I do consult him on matters that will impact him, that is called courtesy and something a person does out of love. I am in this marriage because I want to be, not because I am forced to be. My husband also works hard to contribute to our relationship and happiness and I consider him a wonderful man. I know other people where they are in more of the traditional role he so enthusiastically promoted, and many the women are unfulfilled and live a life of routine they would rather not do. I know of one person that used to take his wife’s paychecks when she was working and then turn around and give her an allowance. He is a weak man I consider beneath me in almost every way and no one I would want to be in the company of.

It all boils down to a matter of personal preference and builds an excellent case to know what you want before you get married. If you are a man that feels threatened and insecure by a successful woman, don’t marry one. If you feel you need to be in financial control- marry someone that won’t challenge that. There is not a way to educate someone out of that mentality, it is what it is- so if someone feels that way, make decisions that align with that. If a wife leaves you for someone at work, it isn’t that she met someone better- it’s that she met someone that made her happy. Keeping her in the confines of the home won’t stop the feelings she has, so make sure you don’t create a situation where she is open for outside attention.

On the other hand, if you are a women that enjoys having a career and has a vision for a life beyond a traditional homemaker, don’t marry a guy that even slightly feels as the above description. You can’t change a person, so realize you aren’t going to be happy with someone that resents you and tries to hold you back. Look for a person that is secure within themselves and will continue to cherish you and work for the happiness of both of you. If someone smacks of the above attitude then stay away, and if you marry him- then you likely will be unhappy and he will blame your independence and the fact you have a life that caused it, it will be your fault in his opinion. And in a way it will be because you picked him.

By the way, I cancelled my subscription to Forbes a while back because it was such a male oriented magazine I felt completely ignored women in my category. I didn’t want to throw my subscription money at such a sexist publication. This article proves my point.

Message Edited by Zoltra on 08-25-2006 10:26 AM

08-25-2006 11:48 AM

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