So now what?


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – So now what?

So now what?
ajosselyn
Contributor
ajosselyn

So now what? Women have to work because we live in a society that forces us to do so, but now our men are not happy? So now what? We have to work, but we can’t have a degree or a “REAL JOB”? We have to raise the kids because obviously he is not talking about marriages that are equally supporting, and now we have to deal with men that want us to work, but don’t? WHAT????

I am a soon to be bride that is 24 years old. I went to college, got my career going, and now that that is under control, I want more. Does this make me a witch? Or maybe just more goal oriented then the men that seem to have these issues. Fine, I have no problem with being considered goal oriented, but to say that I will be an awful wife and mother just because I graduated college, I have a problem with that!!!!!

The fact that this author wrote this, and not only said this is a growing trend, or a new problem with our society, but used it against women is shameful!!! It is also shameful of the editor, news producers and news directors to let such a hurtful and bias article emerge. This is not news, this is not even an opinion piece, it is a form of sexism in its purest form. If you did this just as a publicity scam then good for you, but one problem, I don’t think it brought you any new clients, just publicity. And, oh yeah, did you think of the fact that these “career women” that you have been bashing are most likely the ones writing the bills, included subscriptions!? I didn’t think so.

08-25-2006 09:37 AM

Re: So now what?
Hedgie
Regular Contributor
Hedgie

If you want to be taken seriously as an adult, you must learn to tolerate differences of opinion.

As you make your way in the world, you’ll find that not everyone agrees with you. Hurling silly accusations (e.g., “sexism”) at those who disagree with you is infantile.

Please, do us and your future husband a favor: grow up.

08-25-2006 09:48 AM

Re: So now what?
ajosselyn
Contributor
ajosselyn

I have no problem with difference of opinion. I have a problem with people using the media as an outlet for opinions that are hurtful. I have written and edited many columns on political views, and none of the newspapers I’ve worked for would ever let an attack on a type of person be printed.

08-25-2006 09:53 AM

Re: So now what?
beantownbri
Newbie
beantownbri

It seems quite apparent to me that this woman is on target. She understands that people have varying opinions and she is simply sharing hers, which has made you unhappy. So, I see you doing the same thing – criticizing her for her thoughts.

She brings up a great point. As a single “career” woman, I am left wondering “what now” too. Should I discontinue my MBA path and my career and return to jobs I had in college, is that where I will find the perfect man and the perfect marriage? Of course, I won’t, because I believe one day, despite my career, that I will make a good wife and mother and will work hard at my marriage. I don’t think my mindset would change whether I was a clerk at a store or a “career girl.”

I’ve often thought that men would appreciate a woman who worked hard, was ambitious, had a brain and had something to contribute to the marriage (i.e. money). I honestly can’t see how families can afford all that life has to offer today without two good salaries to help fund it all.

I ask you, Hedgie, to tolerate our opinions, as we are forced to tolerate yours and the author of this disturbing article.

08-25-2006 09:58 AM

Re: So now what?
Hedgie
Regular Contributor
Hedgie

Well, as you grow, you’ll find lots of things that people say or do can be “hurtful.” The best you can do is learn to deal with it. Above all, don’t get emotional.

08-25-2006 09:59 AM

Re: So now what?
Rexasaur
Newbie
Rexasaur

The fact that you support this kind of trash illustrates that you are really the one that needs to “grow up”.

As for being emotional, I think the author of this piece is being too emotional. A man’s ego is bruised because of a headstrong goal oriented woman? If that isn’t being too emotional, I don’t know what is.

Do me a favor and buy yourself some Smart Water because
it looks like you can use all the help you can get.

08-25-2006 10:11 AM

Re: So now what?
EnglishProf
Contributor
EnglishProf

Hey ajosselyn,

Good luck on your new career path, and don’t hesitate to go back for the advanced degree!

I was the nerdy girl who the guys always avoided–even though I tried to be friendly. I was good at school and didn’t have anything better to do–so I went for my Ph.D. Finished it before age 30. Met my husband at age 31 and, at the time, was making much more money than he was. He found that sexy. Now he is back in school, and when he gets out, I plan to work a little less. It is all a give and take.

And to the critics reading this: I am “career woman” but I manage the house just fine, thank you very much. My husband gets a cooked-from-scratch dinner every night, an immaculate house, great conversation, sex whenever he wants it (and sometimes when he doesn’t), and a woman who takes care of herself and doesn’t slump around the house in sweatpants all day.

My mom, on the other hand, was a stay-at-home wife her entire life and never finished college. The house was always a disaster, she and my dad fought all of the time about money, they had a non-existent sex life, and she gave up cooking all together and we ate a pizza hut most nights.

08-25-2006 10:42 AM

Re: So now what?
Hedgie
Regular Contributor
Hedgie

“Emotional”? Not quite.

On the contrary, the author of the piece presents his arguments in a reasonable, rational, dispassionate manner. He provides statistical evidence to bolster his views. The point that it is NOT in a man’s best interests to marry a career woman, makes perfect sense. It is logical.

The counterpoint to his piece, on the other hand, borders on hysteria. As do the many responses from angry women on this discussion board.

It really is very entertaining.

08-25-2006 12:10 PM

Re: So now what?
Termi0n
Regular Contributor
Termi0n

beantownbri wrote:
I’ve often thought that men would appreciate a woman who worked hard, was ambitious, had a brain and had something to contribute to the marriage (i.e. money). I honestly can’t see how families can afford all that life has to offer today without two good salaries to help fund it all.

Obviously you made a mistake. When we look for wives, women with careers are to be avoided. Even before this article was published any man with half a brain knew this. I’m sure this is hard/hurtful to hear but thats the truth. Career women make lousy wives. You might think men need to change in order to accomodate your belief system, but you cant change nature. We simply want what comes natural. You want to fight that, dont expect men to want to marry you.

Women want fried ice. -Arab Proverb

08-25-2006 12:18 PM

Re: So now what?
ajosselyn
Contributor
ajosselyn

Okay, I guess I have a question. Again, what are we suppose to do? My stb husband and I did not marry before college. If we did, then maybe I could see this point of view, but we didn’t. So, what was I suppose to do? I couldn’t just sit around and not do anything until he graduated, right? Society frowns on sitting around.
Also, I do not think men need to change points of view, but I do think that this is the world we live in and I try to be the best person I can in general, not just for my man, but in everything I do. Some times I don’t succeed, but I try.

08-26-2006 12:53 AM

==============================================================================
Click on the board or message subject at the top to return.

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: