The reponses seem to prove the author’s point


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – The reponses seem to prove the author’s point

The reponses seem to prove the author’s point
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias
Judging from the uproar generated by this article, it would seem that the author has hit a nerve. Given the responses I’ve seen, there doesn’t seem to be that much point in marrying at all. I view my work as more of a job than a career, and I am certainly not married to it. When I get home I enjoy peace and quiet, and would certainly not want just a continuation of the battles of the day.

I guess it makes it easier on both me and all these hard charging women so offended by this article to just let them skip having to trade up from me and just let them go right to their bigger better deal and save me all the drama.

08-24-2006 10:50 PM

Re: The reponses seem to prove the author’s point
Pelican
Regular Contributor
Pelican
I don’t think there’s much for you to worry about, zacharias, unless you expect your working wife to come home at the same time as you do, then cook dinner, tidy up the house, water the plants, bathe and put the kids to bed, and only after that join you on the couch to wind down.

Of course, if you bathe the kids while she cooks dinner, then she puts them to bed while you pick up the living room, you’ll both probably be more than happy to curl up on the couch with a glass of wine and relax.

08-24-2006 11:01 PM

Re: The reponses seem to prove the author’s point
mikefrascati
Visitor
mikefrascati
You’ve hit it on the head my man! Mike is merely advising men on who they should marry, and it really is our choice. Although I am a hard charging man I don’t want to be married to a hard charging woman either. So I beg to differ with the assertion here that successful men prefer hard charging women – many of us don’t – and it’s really our choice isn’t it?

08-24-2006 11:03 PM

Re: The reponses seem to prove the author’s point
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias
Actually, Pelican, I’ve never wanted kids nearly as much as the women I have dated want them. I clean my own house, and of course set the standards to which that has to be done – thus having no overseer. I cook my own meals, water my own plants, do my own laundry, and wind down when I choose.

I cannot recommend it highly enough.

08-24-2006 11:15 PM

Re: The reponses seem to prove the author’s point
Pelican
Regular Contributor
Pelican
In that case, zacharias, I can’t see why you wouldn’t be able to find a partner if you’d like one. (Of course, there’s nothing wrong with singlehood either).

08-24-2006 11:21 PM

Re: The reponses seem to prove the author’s point
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias
Who said I wasn’t able to find one?

08-24-2006 11:22 PM

Re: The reponses seem to prove the author’s point
Pelican
Regular Contributor
Pelican
Absolutely no one — Zacharias, I’m not attacking or criticizing you in any of these posts.

08-24-2006 11:32 PM

Re: The reponses seem to prove the author’s point
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias
Well, that is a refreshing change from the rest of the posters here, Pelican.

08-24-2006 11:38 PM

Re: The reponses seem to prove the author’s point
angelssk7
Newbie
angelssk7
“I can’t see why you wouldn’t be able to” would be equivalent to “you can’t find one.” That’s the most likely line of zach’s reasoning after scanning your posts.

In any case, even at the young age of 21 I am already seeing women who are given over to their future careers, and they really aren’t relationship material because their life revolves around their degree, which will later be their job. If there is no other part to her life, will I be atrracted to her? I think that was the point of the article.

08-24-2006 11:52 PM

Re: The reponses seem to prove the author’s point
Pelican
Regular Contributor
Pelican
I used to be a moderator — you kind of get the contentiousness ironed out of you early.

Honestly, the entire debate kicked up by this article seems to be a case of people who don’t know what they want. Both sexes are at fault. If you’re not honest about what you’re looking for, and if you’re unwilling to make any compromise, then you’re going to have a harder time finding what you want. You’e going to have to prioritise.

The weird slant with this article was that it seemed to blame women for not living up to men’s expectations, as though the men are entitled to it and this is some sort of abberation. It was just odd. There are valid points, but they’re spoilt by an overwhelming sense that all would be solved if women would just go back to marrying right out of high school. And that’s just not going to happen, so why whinge about it when you could be using the same data to emphasise that no one can get all of everything?

08-25-2006 12:02 AM

==============================================================================
Click on the board or message subject at the top to return.

Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – The reponses seem to prove the author’s point

Re: The reponses seem to prove the author’s point
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias
I didn’t see it as the author blaming women for not living up to men’s expectations at all. He cited several disparate indicators of long term viability for marriage and showed that people who put their career before family often have less stable families. That really isn’t the greatest of atrocities, nor should it be staggering news. I am sure that if the sexes had been reversed the women would be lapping it up and while there might be a few complaints by men, there would be nowhere near the volume or venom.

All it indicates to me is that the gender war is still raging, and that marriage continues to decline in much of the western world. Whether or not most of the antagonistic posters have careers is fairly irrelevant – they come off as largely unpleasant people who no one their right mind would want to marry regardless of how much money they made.

08-25-2006 12:21 AM

Re: The reponses seem to prove the author’s point
Pelican
Regular Contributor
Pelican

zacharias wrote:
I didn’t see it as the author blaming women for not living up to men’s expectations at all. He cited several disparate indicators of long term viability for marriage and showed that people who put their career before family often have less stable families. That really isn’t the greatest of atrocities, nor should it be staggering news.

He did point to those statistics, but related them in a way that seemed, to me and many other women, to largely lay the blame for the negative results at the feet of working women rather than on the fact that both participants in the marriage were uncompromising in their expectations. Basically, the article started off on a bad foot (“Stay away from the smart ladies!”) and that tainted the rest of the piece. Looking at the article from a journalistic standpoint, I honestly can’t see why it wasn’t edited for impartiality — I know it’s Op-Ed, but that was pretty drastic.

Whether or not most of the antagonistic posters have careers is fairly irrelevant – they come off as largely unpleasant people who no one their right mind would want to marry regardless of how much money they made.

Sorry, I think I missed the part about posters’ careers — where was that? And people who post on messageboards tend to be very different from what they’re like in real life — anonymity unfortunately lets loose all the bad elements that people usually monitor in social conversation.

08-25-2006 12:35 AM

Re: The reponses seem to prove the author’s point
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias
“anonymity unfortunately lets loose all the bad elements that people usually monitor in social conversation.”

Which is why it is so valuable and informative. Far better to see it in someone before I might be trapped into a marriage which would be very expensive and painful to get out of.

08-25-2006 12:53 AM

Re: The reponses seem to prove the author’s point
toadman
Regular Contributor
toadman

“Judging from the uproar generated by this article, it would seem that the author has hit a nerve. Given the responses I’ve seen, there doesn’t seem to be that much point in marrying at all”.

Bingo and a win-win for both men and women.

08-25-2006 02:59 AM

==============================================================================
Click on the board or message subject at the top to return.

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: