You’ve got to love the lack of perspective….


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – You’ve got to love the lack of perspective….

You’ve got to love the lack of perspective….
TrishB
Newbie
TrishB
Statistics can say whatever you would like them to say. Fine – women with careers have higher divorce rates. Well you know what? With some proper perspective, you’ll realize why.

Careers take time! Be it the career of the man or the career of the woman, they will impact their lives, their time and their relationships. Welcome to the time of the pendulum swinging the other way gentlemen!

Women have had to deal with men going off to work each day while they’ve been stuck at home. With fewer opportunities to cheat, they simply don’t. With men being off at work, they’ve had greater opportunities to cheat, so some do.

It’s not a woman’s issue here – the career is. And expecting the 50’s style relationship at home with a new millennium career in the workplace is just not logical.

If you want a double income, you’ll have to adjust. If your wife makes more, then it might make more sense for the husband to stay home and raise the children. There are no longer any default settings here gentlemen. Everything is up for discussion and review.

Women have had to overcome the stigma in the workplace – the ‘bitch’ label because of our having our own life goals rather than our husbands. Now it’s time for men to overcome the stigma as well. If a home is dirty – clean it. If you want children, be prepared to raise them. If your wife makes more money, get over it. That’s what women have been doing for years; we know that it is possible.

The scales are simply evening out here people. Both men and women are now facing equal issues both at home and in the work place (well, except for pay cheque size, but that’s another article). So it’s time to accept the new reality and stop comparing apples to oranges. The situation is no longer the same – so comparing the numbers to outdated data is a moot point.

08-25-2006 12:26 PM

Re: You’ve got to love the lack of perspective….
mediaman
Contributor
mediaman
The bigger issue is WHY people feel free to divorce even with the consequences to the children. It’s a disposable society I guess. Throw away 20 years like it was a soda can.

08-25-2006 12:31 PM

Re: You’ve got to love the lack of perspective….
bekis
Contributor
bekis

Yes it is a disposable society…but in terms of the prevalence of divorce, I don’t think divorce is such a bad thing…especially for the children involved.  Children are not dumb.  If things are not right in the marriage, they know it and it affects them just as much as a divorce.  You can not fake happiness and love.  Sometimes its better for all parties if there is a clean break then a long drawn out emotional roller coaster.  Other times, divorce is not the best answer.  We can’t say divorce is a bad thing or a good thing across the board.  We should be thankful that if ever we find ourselves in a bad situation, we have this out clause.

08-25-2006 12:40 PM

Re: You’ve got to love the lack of perspective….
Jman
Contributor
Jman

The scales are evening out. If two career people (and career people to the point where say they both work 70-80 hours a week) want to marry and have children, something will have to give here. Either 1)both will have to cut back to something more managable to raise a family, or 2)one has to be a stay at home parent, or 3)they have to hire someone else to raise the family (in that case why have a family), or 4)they can have the family collapse. If both don’t want option one or two, I think it’s foolish to have a family, especially in option four.

If a football team puts its offense on the field with 11 quarterbacks, even if they are the 11 best quarterbacks in the NFL, chances are they aren’t going to have a very good time moving the ball against any defense of any NFL team. You need all positions covered. If two want to marry, regardless of the sex, better make sure both income and time raising the children are covered. If one wants to put more focus on work and doesn’t feel he or she wants to comprimise, if the other feels the same way, you better rethink marriage.

08-25-2006 12:52 PM

Re: You’ve got to love the lack of perspective….
toadman
Regular Contributor
toadman

“Careers take time! Be it the career of the man or the career of the woman, they will impact their lives, their time and their relationships. Welcome to the time of the pendulum swinging the other way gentlemen!”

Tic-toc-tic-toc, there goes another monthly egg while cultivating your career. I’m sure you’ll have maybe a few left if you can find the right sperm donor at 30+.

“Women have had to deal with men going off to work each day while they’ve been stuck at home. With fewer opportunities to cheat, they simply don’t. With men being off at work, they’ve had greater opportunities to cheat, so some do.”

You’re not making sense. And being “stuck” at home? With the SUV, the gym membership, ladies lunches, dry cleaning services, nail appointments, after school day-care, PTA, soccer practice, the mall, etc.? Oh, and the actual housecleaning, laundry and grocery shopping that takes maybe 1/2 a day.
Are you serious? Those women are secretly giggling at you!

08-25-2006 01:45 PM

Re: You’ve got to love the lack of perspective….
Antiriad
Regular Contributor
Antiriad
It is difficult to debate people who are apparently unable to think in any type of causal fashion. Today the situation is as it is – and western society is clearly and demonstrably disintegrating right before our eyes. To someone with a brain this clearly demonstrates that we cannot and will not continue down the present path indefinitely; sooner or later the money which maintains this whole artificial structure will be gone. What’s going to support the system beyond that? Wishful thinking? Some people here seem to think so.

It’s amazing how many of these “end of history” types here seem to think that we are stuck within the present system for good. This is of course the same haughty arrogance that brought down the once mighty Roman empire as well.

08-25-2006 02:12 PM

Re: You’ve got to love the lack of perspective….
bekis
Contributor
bekis

True, no social system is permanent.  Which is precisely why the idea that “traditional” gender roles and relationship parameters must be adhered to is unrealistic.

Rome was not built in a day, it took a millennium for it to rise and fall, but when it fell, the people did not revert to living in caves.  They took what they had learned to cultivate a new city of Rome.  And even now things are changing.

While it is helpful to examine the past (you can examine the mistakes and learn from them), circumstances change and the solutions of the past may not always apply to the present situation.

08-25-2006 02:41 PM

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