answer me this


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – answer me this

answer me this
shovel
Regular Contributor
shovel
Someone else posted this a while back, and none of the people with such hate for the concept of feminism bothered to answer.

“Why do some people assume women don’t want the same dreams and opportunities as men?”

I just can’t imagine why my needs are considered “optional” in comparison to men. I just want to go forth in life as a “person” without people bickering over what roles I’m suited for.

I don’t care if some women want to be stay at home moms – go right ahead! It just amazes me that some people can’t understand that this is really unappealing to me personally. No one can “force” me to desire this kind of life, and some of you act as though women, by default, should be eager to do so.

Think of how lots of the “manly” men here would feel if they were suddenly pulled from their jobs to switch roles with a stay-at-home mom. This is how I too would feel.

And just so you know, if my husband wanted to suddenly stay at home if and when the kids come along, I’m more than happy to support him.

08-25-2006 04:11 PM

Re: answer me this
TennisPirate
Newbie
TennisPirate
Thank you.

08-25-2006 04:27 PM

Re: answer me this
pinkpantie80
Visitor
pinkpantie80

obviously this article is not really directed twords you.  You have already shown your husband what you want in life. And with that in the open you both know your expectations of each other.  You don’t want to be the stay at home mom, well so be it, then your husband won’t expect that of you. And he knows in turn that if he wants to stay home with kids that you’ll support him on this.  Thats great.  But there are so many relationships out there that don’t work that smoothly. Some career women marry without telling there signifigant other how they feel about the future, and in turn it turns into a horrible marriage.

08-25-2006 04:27 PM

Re: answer me this
LL
Contributor
LL

Then I will answer it for you:

<<<<<“Why do some people assume women don’t want the same dreams and opportunities as men?”>>>>>>

We do, but we are upset that there is only one group being helped, while everyone else seems to be forgotten. And we are also upset because there is a problem when society only wants to satisfy one group for a prolonged period of time. I.E. Social inequality starts to take root. There are a lot of people that are upset because women are put on a pedestal in a lot of situations.  Women’s bad behavior is often ignored or minimized by public policy makers and society in general, while society scrutinizes and punishes men for any little travesty they commit.  Misogyny is denounced and condemned to it’s fullest (if you think this is misogyny, it isn’t) and misandry that targets men “just for the hell of it” is usually ignored, downplayed or pulled under the carpet.

There is a lot of men that are happy this article is out because finally a magazine had the guts to release something that isn’t politically correct.

Yes Shovel, women can have the same opportunities and dreams as men, but don’t confuse that with actually getting it.  There are many men who have dreams at reaching the top and never work long enough hours or have the ambition and drive to aspire what their idealized goal is. Just because someone is a woman doesn’t mean they are entitled to be a CEO. They have to work for it.

I hope I answered your question the best I can.

-LL

08-25-2006 04:33 PM

Re: answer me this
wellseasoned
Newbie
wellseasoned

“Some career women marry without telling there signifigant other how they feel about the future, and in turn it turns into a horrible marriage.”

I think this statement not only applies to “career women” — but people across the board.  Do we REALLY sit down and have honest conversations with our significant other as to what our expectations are of him/her?  Most people who are “in love” are generally too clouded to have those conversations … or at the very least, to have them in any real depth.  If we did, then we wouldn’t be looking at the vast number of marriages that fall like dominoes all around us.  I think this is much broader issue than whether or not to “marry a career woman.”  Maybe we need to simply focus on the fact that people in general need to know what we want, what we’re willing to give and receive, how to make sure that it’s communicated to the other party and everybody’s in agreement in how that particular marriage is going to operate.

08-25-2006 05:00 PM

Re: answer me this
shovel
Regular Contributor
shovel
LL, I do understand how these issues might bother people, but you have to realize this takes time. Gender equality isn’t an easy process, and we all suffer during various phases. What you describe is not unlike that awful pirate ship ride at the carnival…think of the last century (and before, obviously) as swinging one way, and now the pendulum is swinging the other way. The people in the ride screaming can be seen as the the other problems (unfair media portrayals, women who still demand paid dinners, misandry, etc), and eventually the ride will somewhat stabilize as it slows down.

I’ve had an interesting variety of occupations over the years, some of which include monster makeup, web development, and boom operator. For the most part, I haven’t had to deal with a lot of gender inequality, but it does still happen in certain situations. I am completely blown away in every instance, because one day you’re moving along, contributing to a project as a person. Then, such an incident slaps you in the face.

Of course I know I’m not going to achieve all my dreams; I just take issue with people who think this is “optional” because of my gender. I wasn’t raised this way, and my goals are the same as any “career boy” on here.

08-25-2006 05:03 PM

Re: answer me this
Anti_Feminist
Regular Contributor
Anti_Feminist

You seem to be forgetting one thing, men made there opportunities often sacrificing their lives to do so while simultaneously supporting women, only to be labeled the cause of all evil and repressive monster by women who want to be “given” the same opportunities men paid in blood for. No claim of female repression has ever stood the test of scrutiny true repression has only occurred in pockets of history under brutal dictatorships that repressed everybody. Those dictatorships still exist today but why should only women be saved? and why should only men pay the price to save them?

08-25-2006 06:24 PM

Re: answer me this
shovel
Regular Contributor
shovel
Anti, aren’t you being a bit dramatic? And I doubt that Noer shed a drop of his own blood for anything.

But in reality, I don’t need anyone to “give” me anything. I simply take it.

08-25-2006 06:46 PM

Re: answer me this
PsyGuy
Contributor
PsyGuy

I’ll save the intelligent author of this post the trouble of responding to your righteous ire.

No one reasonable is claiming that women have been oppressed in the same way that, say, African-Americans have been (at least, not in this country).  But it’s ludicrous to act as though they haven’t been oppressed in the slightest.  They only recently (within the past century!) gained the right to vote, for Goodness sake.  And do you know where the phrase, “rule of thumb” came from?  If you don’t, you should check it out.  A bit unsettling.

I’m not certain about all of this macho, “trial-by-blood” stuff you’re talking about, but I’d say it requires more effort, bravery, and savvy to gain a top executive position as a woman than as a man.  And I don’t see how men have to “pay” for the feminist movement with their “blood” (sidenote: lots of blood in your post).  I think both men and women need to learn to adapt and be flexible.  But no one’s putting all the blame on any one gender – or they shouldn’t be.

PsyGuy

08-25-2006 06:47 PM

Re: answer me this
Anti_Feminist
Regular Contributor
Anti_Feminist

The “rule of thumb” where supposedly a husband could beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb is an urban myth psyguy. at no stage did this law ever exist. Its just more women victim propaganda. and as for the vote, women didn’t vote because in those days the only things the vote and politics affected were men. For instance there were no permanent taxes to worry about, and parties representing big business weren’t about either. It was all division and control of land and labor, issues of which women had no part of. Now I don’t blame you for believing in the rule of thumb, true information has been repressed for a long time.

08-25-2006 11:46 PM

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