Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**

Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**
AlexisRM
Newbie
AlexisRM

Point: Don’t Marry Career Women If You Have A Small **bleep**
By Michael Noer
How do women, careers and marriage mix? Not well, say social scientists.

Guys: A word of advice. Get a bigger **bleep**.  Otherwise you will have to marry one of those career women who makes over $30,000 a year.  Doesn’t matter if you marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, just get  a gigantic **bleep** or you will never satisfy any woman.

Why? Because if many social scientists are to be believed, you run a higher risk of having a rocky marriage. While everyone knows that marriage can be stressful, recent studies have found professional women are more likely to get divorced, more likely to cheat, less likely to have children if their husband has a little **bleep**.  And, if they do have kids, they are more likely to be unhappy about their husband’s **bleep**. A recent study in Social Forces, a research journal, found that women–even those with a “feminist” outlook–are happier when their husband has a **bleep** bigger than Mr. Jones next door.

Not a happy conclusion, especially given that many men, particularly successful men have the smallest penises on the planet.  They are often attracted to women who want to have a lot of sex mostly with similar goals and aspirations. And why not? After all, your typical career boy is well-educated, ambitious, informed and engaged. All seemingly good things, right? Sure…at least until you get married. Then, to put it bluntly, the more successful she is the more likely she is to grow dissatisfied with your little **bleep**. Sound familiar?

Many factors contribute to a stable marriage, including the marital status of your spouse’s parents (folks with divorced parents are significantly more likely to get divorced themselves), age at first marriage, race, religious beliefs and socio-economic status. And, of course, many working women are indeed happily and fruitfully married–it’s just that they are less likely to be so when their husband has a little **bleep**.  And that, statistically speaking, is the rub.

To be clear, we’re not talking about a ten inch **bleep** or a twelve inch **bleep**.   For our purposes, a “career boy” has a university-sized (or larger) **bleep**, and uses it more than 35 hours a week and makes more than $30,000 a year.

If a host of studies are to be believed, marrying these men with a small **bleep** is asking for trouble. If they try to use the little thing, their wives  will be unhappy (Journal of Marriage and Family, 2003). They will be unhappy if you don’t make more money than they do  (Social Forces, 2006). You will be unhappy if you don’t get a **bleep** implant (Journal of Marriage and Family, 2001). You will be more likely to fall ill (American Journal of Sociology). Even your house will be dirtier (Institute for Social Research) if you don’t have a giganitc **bleep**.

Why? Well, despite the fact that the link between work, women and divorce rates is complex and controversial, much of the reasoning is based on a lot of economic theory and a bit of common sense. In classic economics, a marriage is, at least in part, an exercise in labor specialization. Traditionally Alpha men have tended to have the biggest penises and women have tended to look for such men as spouses.  All women are looking for the man with the biggest **bleep** as it must be done by somebody, and this pairing, accomplishes the goal of taking the biggest **bleep** [best career boy] and the smartest, brighest, highest earning women and pairing them. Nobel laureate Gary S. Becker argued that when the labor specialization in a marriage decreases–if, for example, if the man has a little **bleep** –the overall value of the marriage is lower for both partners because less of the total needs are fulfilled, making life harder for both partners and divorce more likely. And, indeed, empirical studies have concluded just that.

In 2004, John H. Johnson examined data from the Survey of Income and Program Participation and concluded that **bleep** size has a significant influence on the relationship and a little **bleep** increases in the probability of divorce.  “I also find that the incidence in divorce is far higher in couples where the man has a little **bleep**.” Johnson says.

The other reason a small **bleep** can hurt a marriage will be obvious to anyone who has seen their mate run off with a co-worker: When your spouse works around men with larger penises, chances increase they’ll meet someone they like more than you. “The work environment provides a host of potential partners,” researcher Adrian J. Blow reported in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, “and individuals frequently find themselves spending a great deal of time with those individuals with big penises.”

There’s more: According to a wide-ranging review of the published literature, highly educated people are more likely to have had extra-marital sex (those with graduate degrees are 1.75 more likely to have cheated than those with high school diplomas.) Additionally, individuals who earn more than $30,000 a year are more likely to cheat if their husband has a small **bleep**.

A word of caution, though: As with any social scientific study, it’s important not to confuse correlation with causation. In other words, just because a jerk wrote this article, it doesn’t  necessarily mean that he has the smallest **bleep** on the planet.  It could mean that he has a **bleep** for brains.

08-25-2006 05:49 PM

Re: Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**
Karma
Contributor
Karma
sources?

08-25-2006 05:55 PM

Re: Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**
jlseagull
Contributor
jlseagull
Ad hominem, shaming language, and rhetorical laziness to boot. Is this what passes for reasoned debate from feminists?

Your failed attempt at shaming only underscores your own insecurities and undercuts feminism in the eyes of all. You’re a failure, and your failure brings down all women.

08-25-2006 05:55 PM

Re: Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias
Let’s see, we’ve been through “barefoot and pregnant chained to the stove”, “bitter because you can’t get laid”, “cut him off from sex, grrls”, and what comes next is as predictable as the sun coming up tomorrow – oh yes “he must have a small **bleep**.”

Strange that so many women are so obsessed with **bleep** size.

08-25-2006 06:01 PM

Re: Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**
wwvd
Visitor
wwvd

Wow, melodramatic, anyone?  Sheesh, lighten up, it was kinda funny   Not every **bleep** joke is a femi-nazi attempt to crucify men to the wall, ya know.  Nor need it be a comment on the imminent destruction of our civilization…it’s just a spoof.

08-25-2006 06:05 PM

Re: Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**
AlexisRM
Newbie
AlexisRM

This is too, too funny.  You guys obviously don’t get the joke.

08-25-2006 06:05 PM

Re: Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**
jlseagull
Contributor
jlseagull
And look here as wwvd and AlexisRM jump to the NEXT element of the oh-so-boringly-predictable feminist rhetorical chain… “It was a joke, lighten up!”

No, I’m NOT going to lighten up. I’ve seen ENOUGH advertisements, comedy routines, editorials, and books by feminists that deride, shame, and emasculate men that I’m not going to just “lighten up”, smile, and take it.

08-25-2006 06:15 PM

Re: Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**
Angelus
Contributor
Angelus

AlexisRM wrote:
This is too, too funny.  You guys obviously don’t get the joke.

The joke’s on you. Feminists are walking, talking parodies of themselves at this point.

zacharias- I believe claiming he is gay is next on the list.

Message Edited by Angelus on 08-25-2006 06:16 PM

08-25-2006 06:15 PM

Re: Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**
Hedgie
Regular Contributor
Hedgie

“For our purposes, a “career boy” has a university-sized (or larger) **bleep**…”

Intriguing. Just so I’m clear, does this mean private or public university? How about the Ivy League? I’m assuming those are larger. And how does a liberal arts college-sized **bleep** measure up to a national university-sized **bleep**, for instance? We need more info.

08-25-2006 06:20 PM

Re: Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**
AlexisRM
Newbie
AlexisRM

Hey, jlseagull,

……..,,, lighten up.  It was a spoof … I’m a guy who thinks all this stuff on this subject is hilarous from both sides…. the women and the men are both boring and prediciable …………… it was a joke, man.

08-25-2006 06:20 PM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**

Re: Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**
Termi0n
Regular Contributor
Termi0n

AlexisRM wrote:
Hey, jlseagull,

……..,,, lighten up.  It was a spoof … I’m a guy who thinks all this stuff on this subject is hilarous from both sides…. the women and the men are both boring and prediciable …………… it was a joke, man.

Idiot.

Women want fried ice. -Arab Proverb

08-25-2006 06:23 PM

Re: Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**
warbaby
Regular Contributor
warbaby

No, it wasn’t a joke. It wasn’t meant as a joke, and you only say it is because that is how  the “joke” method of shaming works. Femmies, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

08-25-2006 06:57 PM

Re: Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias
What they haven’t figured out yet, Warbaby, is that it doesn’t work any more – they have worn it out through overuse.

08-25-2006 06:59 PM

Re: Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**
warbaby
Regular Contributor
warbaby

zacharias wrote:
What they haven’t figured out yet, Warbaby, is that it doesn’t work any more – they have worn it out through overuse.

I’m taking cover as the cards from this particular house have already started falling. The beast called feminism is wounded! Huzzah!!

08-25-2006 07:01 PM

Re: Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**
doingitmyway
Contributor
doingitmyway
Hey, jlseagull,

……..,,, lighten up. It was a spoof … I’m a guy who thinks all this stuff on this subject is hilarous from both sides…. the women and the men are both boring and prediciable …………… it was a joke, man.

———————————————

What a great joke, it’s about as funny as male suicide.

I’ve got one for you:

Q) What did the judge adhering to VAWA say to the man falsely accused of domestic violence?

A) Fine, you can get out of jail once you prove you’re innocent!

Message Edited by doingitmyway on 08-26-2006 01:59 AM

08-26-2006 01:41 AM

Re: Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**
JaB
Visitor
JaB
Can someone explain to me why the above (admittedly lame) spoof is definitively feminist? Or maybe why you automatically assume that anything poking fun at the male appendage in question OBVIOUSLY comes from “those silly/crazy man-eating femi-nazis being stupid/mean?”

Newsflash: **bleep**-hating is NOT what feminism is about, despite what some reactionary trigger-riders (male AND female) will say given any opportunity.

08-26-2006 07:48 PM

Re: Don’t Marry Career Women -REDUX -If You Have a Small **bleep**
crella
Regular Contributor
crella
‘Is this what passes for reasoned debate from feminists?’

Yes, sadly. This silly technique is quite common. They “regender” and article, changing ‘women’ , ‘her’ and ‘she’ to ‘men’ ‘him’ and ‘he’, or they substitute phrases, as in this article.

It requires almost no effort, but on Feminsiting.com and related blogs, simply doing this and posting it earns accolades ‘Oh that was brilliant! You really showed them’ ‘That was pure genius’. Such is what passes for ‘genius’ among young women today.

08-30-2006 09:19 PM

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