For Professional woman approaching and over 40


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – For Professional woman approaching and over 40

For Professional woman approaching and over 40
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

Here are the actual options for you to have children:

1.  Invitro
2.  A surrogate
3.  Adopt

It is unlikely at 40 that you will find someone, other than a sperm donor, who will have children with you.  If you are at a University you are likely not tenured and not making very much of an income.  If a professional, you likely have extreme time demands to continue the corporate climb.  Both further limit your options.  If you elect to adopt/invitro/surrogate you will be a single mother and that empirical data and statistics clearly support that children raised in this environment tend to be more likely to engage in risky behavior, to be criminals, to have dysfuntional relationships with others that lead to unproductive lives, etc.  There are exceptions to the rule, but they are only exceptions.  Being independent is a good thing but having/raising children is supposed to be an act of selflessness with the primary focus being the children to afford them the best chance of success and survival when they reach adulthood.  A single mother is the worst possible avenue for this to occur.

I am happy for you. You may find a man who suits your needs but it is unlikely that you will have a children under any condition with them unless you elect 1-3 above.  Maureen Dowd is a classic example.  She was not an unattractive woman at one time.  She choose her career, and that is fine.  It eliminated her from swimming in the gene pool with men that she wished to be with.  She now complains that these men who rejected her are either: 1) Gay, 2) intimidated by her, or 3) some other unsupported statement.  She is wrong.  She is angry that the eligible men have chosen to pass her by.  These men are not angry having passed her by, they are glad.  She is the one who carps and complains that they have not chosen her.  Most don’t need the aggravation and have chosen women more suitable for them, if they elect to get married.  She eliminated herself, as most women in her position do.  This is neither bad nor good.  It is merely the truth.   Don’t be angry that your options are limited or that men don’t wish to be with you for any length of time.  It is their choice to ultimately anyway to move on and not be with you.  You can’t fault them.  You may find solace for a short time with a younger man, but you are only a play toy for him to practice on as he will see no future with you.  He is prepping himself for the one who may select later, and it won’t be you.  If it is, he will leave when you become too old, angry accusatory, insecure when he looks at younger, beautiful women.  This is as it should be.  The writer for Forbes was correct.  I know of a woman vascular surgeon who wished to have a relationship and marry me.  I declined.  It would have been a recipe for disaster for any potential children and for me, personally.  She choose her career, and I commend her for it.  She went to medical school to enter into a lifetime endeavor, and she is quite good at it.   Again, she is to be commended, but she is a poor choice as a potential mate.  2 career households rarely work and rarely benefit children.   Again, there are exceptions, but they are merely that, exceptions.   If, as a man, you wish to have a relationship that sustains don’t marry a career woman.  Sure, f&ck them and play with them, but don’t have a serious relationship.  It will go no where and will cause problems.  Typically, there is no future with a career woman if you actually wish to have a family and not raise latchkey children.   Also, differentiate from having a job to having a career.  There is a distinct difference.

08-26-2006 01:17 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
AnnG
Contributor
AnnG

–and what is it, exactly, that makes you assume all women want to have children?

Not all men want to have children, but that’s okay, right?  If you have ovaries, though, and choose not to use them, you’re a freak.

I married at 40, to a wonderful man ten years older.  He would have loved to give me the opportunity to be a parent (something he’d already done), but that was never one of my goals.  Even in high school, when most of my friends earned money by babysitting, I learned quickly that I was much happier and more skilled at tutoring math.  As for now, I’m content with my dogs and cats, and with being a step-grandma!

Oh, and I happen to love Maureen Dowd’s columns.

08-26-2006 03:45 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
PANDORASBOX123
Regular Contributor
PANDORASBOX123

Your comment:……F*uck them and play with them?  (Referring to women)…
Who do you think you are?
Do you have a daughter?
That comment is exactly  why women want careers to  avoid primitive thinkers like yourself…Grunt, Grunt……….

08-26-2006 08:53 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
AnnG
Contributor
AnnG

Oh, don’t worry too much about him, Pandora.  After all, guys like that can have a purpose.  We can f*ck them, and play with them, as long as we don’t marry them!

08-26-2006 09:07 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
PANDORASBOX123
Regular Contributor
PANDORASBOX123

Ann—you are accurate with that statement. This man thinks that it is all about HIM—He should be neutered…We don’t need any more males being born that think like this—-very dangerous!

08-26-2006 09:26 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
AnnG
Contributor
AnnG

“Dangerous” implies importance.  Something to which attention must be paid.  I wouldn’t give him that much credit.

Though — I agree he wouldn’t contribute much to the gene pool.

08-26-2006 09:40 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
porkchops38
Regular Contributor
porkchops38

AnnG wrote:
“Dangerous” implies importance.  Something to which attention must be paid.  I wouldn’t give him that much credit.

Though — I agree he wouldn’t contribute much to the gene pool.

Hitler didn’t believe that Jews contributed much to the gene pool either, but Hitler acted upon his fascist beliefs. Do you women just spout out your fascist beliefs, or will you ever act on it?

08-27-2006 12:38 AM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
radiator
Regular Contributor
radiator

I assume this post was directed at me….

If Maureen Dowd has her issues with why she isn’t married, then they aren’t necessarily mine.

It seems not to have occurred to you that I might be the one doing the rejecting.  Your post suggests that women who are unmarried after age 33 or whatever are so because no men wanted them.  I’m afraid that’s far from the case with me.

Similarly, I’m quite aware of the fertility issues you mention.  There’s no need to lecture me on them.

Your rejection of your vascular surgeon merely proves my point made earlier that men take an instrumentalist approach to relationships.  If you love someone (and they love you), then you are willing to compromise–that means both people.  She is clearly better off without you since you didn’t love her.

As I said in another post, most single parents are mothers.  And most of them are single because some loser knocked them up and abandoned them.  Most of them are actually *not* career women.  So, where are these traditional men who want to take care of someone who actually needs them? Why aren’t they lining up to take on these needy single mothers and their kids? The US does not in fact support families–if it did, then policies would serve the interests of children and the people raising them, which it does not do.  What it supports is male domination.  And that is not ethical.

08-27-2006 05:00 AM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
Pete
Regular Contributor
Pete

PANDORASBOX123 wrote:
Your comment:……F*uck them and play with them? (Referring to women)…

Sure, why not? An over 40 woman isn’t going to have kids anyway. So most likely, she won’t be all that demanding.

Not that she’s in a position to be demanding, mind you – her value as a female companion is naturally diminished with age. And as long as there’s an available pool of younger, more attractive, fertile women, an over 40 woman really has no leverage to speak of in the relationship.

So the “f*k and play with her” game plan actually isn’t such a bad deal for men. And an over 40 woman who is realistic enough about her diminished position is most likely not going to be bothered much by it either.

08-27-2006 08:41 AM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
radiator
Regular Contributor
radiator

Quite a few women over 40 have kids, as a matter of fact.  But again, some of us may just not want kids.  For one thing, we don’t want to be stuck with all the work because of faecal matter like yourself.  We are busy enjoying life, making history, and earning money to enjoy in our retirement.

Why do you want children?  I mean, why not just be in it for the sex?  See, the issue is that you don’t really want kids.  You just want the POWER that comes with being able to impregnate women.  Because you know that to get stuck with a kid drags women down.  And YOU, big man, YOU did it!  It’s all YOUR fault that she’s crying and sad and stuck with a mewling, puking brat, and you get to just have a faecal matter grin on your face.

Got your slavey yet, Petey?  There are tons of gold-digging mail order brides out there waiting for you to knock them up in exchange for a green card.  Of course, maybe soon no one will want green cards to the US once all the jobs are actually in China and India.  Better hurry up.  You’re wasting your time arguing with gorgeous brilliant hot 40 year olds like me.

08-27-2006 09:15 AM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – For Professional woman approaching and over 40

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
Pelican
Regular Contributor
Pelican
I’m forever enchanted by your concept that young women are on the lookout for old men to father their children. We’re not that fond of the idea of dating men who could be our fathers. We’re not enamoured of the idea that this guy’s not going to have the energy to help out with the kids. We’re not that pleased that we statistically outlive men anyhow, and if we hitch up to THIS codger, we’re likely to spend the last 30 years of our lives staring at an urn full of his ashes. Not to mention, very few men age like a Redford. You sag, you molt, you bloat, and most charming of all, you have the habit of pulling the age card and using it to condescend.

How many of these beautiful young trophy wives do you think are actually physically attracted to their ageing, doddery husbands? You’ve already made it clear that you don’t expect much from them mentally, so they’re probably not getting any intellectual benefit out of you either. What with them being young and beautiful, don’t you think they’re in high demand elsewhere? And do you ever consider whether divorce statistics might reflect that this sort of pairing is less binding than marrying someone of your own generation?

If you want to be one of those old guys with the rotation of young girlfriends, be my guest, there will always be dim young things attracted to shiny gifts. But if your finances fail, or your looks go, or you experience a medical disaster, your options might not look as promising as before. But obviously, it’s your life, so gamble away.

08-27-2006 09:18 AM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
PANDORASBOX123
Regular Contributor
PANDORASBOX123

Pete—–What makes you think that some 20 year old would want an over 40 male?  A 20 something career woman wouldn’t gravitate towards a sexist person like yourself.  However, a 20 something–non career female—would–only for monitary reasons (which I have no respect for)—-Definitely, not for your big belly and balding crown which happens to the majority of males after 40…..

08-27-2006 10:13 AM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
PANDORASBOX123
Regular Contributor
PANDORASBOX123

Radiator——You express yourself wisely….I enjoy all of your comments.  I am a very hot, sexy 40 year old too….More woman are looking better and better as they age—-where as the men usually don’t…..

08-27-2006 10:20 AM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
radiator
Regular Contributor
radiator

Pandora, thanks for your appreciation.  I enjoy all your comments too!  Thanks for being there–you, too, Pelican. I hope you get what you want in life.

08-27-2006 11:26 AM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

Here are the reasons (and, mind you, women such as yourself are distinctly in the minority) that men, as they become older, are more valued by beautiful, younger women:

1.  Financial Stability.
2.  Emotional and mental stability (which none of you hens exhibit, rather you attack as it is your nature).
3.  Worldly experience.
4.  Ability to share.
5.  An understanding of the need to subordinate ones needs to those of the family. (which you clearly can’t, as it is all about you).
6.  The ability to work in a team environment (which few of you ladies can do).
7.  We get better with age, where you merely get older and gravity takes hold of your bits and pieces.

Need I say more?

Message Edited by moneyneversleep on 08-27-2006 02:00 PM

08-27-2006 01:20 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
PANDORASBOX123
Regular Contributor
PANDORASBOX123

Gravity takes hold of you too—-hence your ball bag dragging on the gorund, balding, huge beer gutts, ED troubles.  I have a career and a wonderful family……My husband and I view each other as equals.  Neither of us views the other as a servant or the bread winner.  We have been married for 18 years, and he detest insecure males like yourself  Most younger men today want an independent career woman.

If women would quit caudling their boys and make them responible for picking up after themselves, they wouldn’t grow up to be men like yourself.  Any retalitory comments from you regarding this only shows that I am correct.

08-27-2006 02:23 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

Unlike you, I am in excellent condition.  Gravity affects  women in much more distinct and negative manner.   I don’t make the rules, I just live with them.  You don’t see young, good looking men marrying older women, but you do see young, hot women marrying older men.  The men vote with their feet, as do young women.

08-27-2006 02:46 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
PANDORASBOX123
Regular Contributor
PANDORASBOX123

Money—-I’m in excellent shape.  I work out daily—and I am very sexy plus gorgeous.  As I have stated the reason younger women will hang with a “grandpa” like figure (such as yourself) is for MONEY. I’ve nocticed that you even use the word “MONEY” in your SN.  Is this to try to attract a young, sexy, mindless woman that will change your depends?

I have seen younger men dating older women lately….and it is for the same reason why younger women generally date an older man……

08-27-2006 02:53 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

These young men date the older women for easy sex with desperate women.  You will rarely, if ever, find them in a long term relationship or marrying them.  (These relationships don’t last as they will always come back to younger, hotter women.) It doesn’t happen.  I am sorry, but the facts support my position.

08-27-2006 03:47 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
PANDORASBOX123
Regular Contributor
PANDORASBOX123

Money——-
These young men date the older women for easy sex with desperate women

Speaking from experience, Money….lol

(These relationships don’t last as they will always come back to younger, hotter women.) It doesn’t happen.  I am sorry, but the facts support my position

Please share with me your statistics.

08-27-2006 04:00 PM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – For Professional woman approaching and over 40

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
Pelican
Regular Contributor
Pelican

moneyneversleep wrote:
These young men date the older women for easy sex with desperate women.  You will rarely, if ever, find them in a long term relationship or marrying them.  (These relationships don’t last as they will always come back to younger, hotter women.) It doesn’t happen.  I am sorry, but the facts support my position.

History supports your position, sure — but times have changed a bit since a 20-something women was desperate to marry lest she end up destitute.

moneyneversleep wrote:
Here are the reasons (and, mind you, women such as yourself are distinctly in the minority) that men, as they become older, are more valued by beautiful, younger women:

1. Financial Stability.
2. Emotional and mental stability (which none of you hens exhibit, rather you attack as it is your nature).
3. Worldly experience.
4. Ability to share.
5. An understanding of the need to subordinate ones needs to those of the family. (which you clearly can’t, as it is all about you).
6. The ability to work in a team environment (which few of you ladies can do).
7. We get better with age, where you merely get older and gravity takes hold of your bits and pieces.

Need I say more?

No, but you might need to listen more.

1. I’m sure you’ve heard we can earn money now, too. Which makes it unnecessary to hitch up with a coot rather than a young man with prospects rather than cash up front.
2. Ha. We get plenty of emotional stability from partners our own age. On top of that, we don’t need a second daddy.
3. You know what’s better than having someone tell you about what the world’s like? Doing it with them. With young men, you’ve got more time and also don’t have the annoying “I know all” aspect.
4. Sharing doesn’t come with age, and often the opposite does — hoarding,
5. Excellent point! So surely it’s in the family’s best interest to have a father who has the energy and enthusiasm to be involved — oh, and won’t kick the bucket when the children start entering college.
6. Where on earth are you getting the idea that these qualities come with age? They don’t, they’re personality-based and can be located in younger men,
7. Seriously, you… really don’t get better with age. If a woman loves you she might say that, and probably mean it, but that’ll have nothing to do with your physical appearance and everything to do with the mind inside. Physically, you start to grow giant bushes of hair out of your nose and ears, you become impotent, you get a gut and you start sporting hair plugs. On top of that, that young woman you impregnated with your old man sperm? Yeah, her boobs will have obeyed gravity from feeding those kids. Can’t have it both ways — will you then just find ANOTHER young thing who haven’t committed the grevious sin of mothering your children?

I’m actually hoping you’re not over 40 right now, because that would indicate one hell of a rude awakening in a decade or so.

08-27-2006 04:36 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

Look around, don’t be a fool.  It is obvious.  Men rarely have relationships/marry older women.  Why should the when the options for younger, hotter women are so much better.  You can’t be that thick headed, can you?

08-27-2006 05:24 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
PANDORASBOX123
Regular Contributor
PANDORASBOX123

Well Money,

08-27-2006 05:49 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
PANDORASBOX123
Regular Contributor
PANDORASBOX123

Well Money,

08-27-2006 05:49 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
PANDORASBOX123
Regular Contributor
PANDORASBOX123

Well Money, I happen to see more and more younger men marrying or dating older women….Women are taking better care of themselves day….Over 40 and sexy is becoming the new norm for women….and many sexy women are choosing to live with other women.  Many college aged women are having relationships with women….Look that one up!

08-27-2006 05:52 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

Over 40 is past your expiration date.  I only am with women under 30, they have the benefit of being more beautiful without effort and act much less like damaged goods.  The older women desperately seeking a man (or a sperm donor) are far too furtive and angry, in addition to not being as attractive.  Why is it that all women over 40 day that 40 is the new 30, when it is not.  It is 40.

08-27-2006 06:24 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
PANDORASBOX123
Regular Contributor
PANDORASBOX123

I never said I was 40….Did you say you were 10?

08-27-2006 06:41 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

You are clearly at or over 40.

08-27-2006 06:59 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
Pelican
Regular Contributor
Pelican
Money, I’m apparently in your preferred age range (and no, before you try it, I’m not fat and ugly). I don’t know any women dating men more than 8 years older than them, and even then it’s at the top range of dateable men. It’s just not practical.

The tradeoff used to be that you marry an older man because he’s richer and you’ll have the time and resources to establish yourself before he kicks the bucket. This was the plan when women didn’t have the option of working — basically, you gave up things like vitality and physical attractiveness for the insurance of security. And with any luck, he lasts until you’re in your 50s and you’ve got the savings to coast, or kids to support you.

But we don’t have to put up with old men to get security anymore. Now, we can support ourselves, and so we pretty much don’t have the incentive to make tradeoffs. I know that doesn’t suit your worldview, where young women should obey biological imperative blah blah, but that’s how it’s happening. I’m not going to marry some old guy unless I really, really love him, and even then, I’ll know that I’m likely to face the last 30 years of my life without him. Which is not a happy prospect. So I’m going to go for the men my own age first — the ones who will have the energy to keep up with me and our kids, and the ones who will be with me long after those same kids are grown and gone.

08-27-2006 07:24 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
sanelson
Visitor
sanelson

Don’t you think what you have said is a bit cruel Sir? I mean you are entitled to your opinion but you were cruel to Maureen Dowd and others like her. I had a fiance die when I was in my very early 20s from Cancer.  I loved him like the air I breathed. He liked me educated and ambitious for my future–He was raised by a single mother who adored him and he was a NROTC officer and a great student/athelete/human being.  Sadly fate stepped in.   I went to college-law school and I came from very humble roots.  I have always wanted a husband and kids.  It pains me everyday that I do not have this in my life.  It is an ache you will never understand.

I am fast approaching 40 and I am dating a wonderful man who is 42.  He loves me for me not my ovaries–I had one before him who only cared about my ovaries and I gave him the boot because he was a bad human being.  He was a black man with a 6 figure job-a real commodity.  Really?? As a black woman my issue is 50% of black men are incarcerated–and very few are even colleged educated-go higher up the education chain and it becomes 15 men for every 100 women with a graduate degree.  You do us all a disservice as human beings with such cruelty.  It was just not called for.  Also did you know that at least 50% of infertility problmes in this nation are caused by male inferility (e.g. bad sperm, weak sperm, gentic deformities, etc.)???  You need to do your reseach better and learn to act with civility and leave the cruelty at home.

08-27-2006 07:47 PM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – For Professional woman approaching and over 40

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

You are the exception, and the fact is that he is older than you.  I wish you well.

08-27-2006 08:19 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
Pelican
Regular Contributor
Pelican
But Money, according to you, he shouldn’t be interested in her at all, no? He should be eyeing up the nearest 25 year old miniskirt?

08-27-2006 09:51 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
legacy42
Contributor
legacy42

Good post.  You are right on the money.

08-27-2006 10:44 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

There is always an anomoly. But it is just that, an anomoly.  Keep on holding to your fragile beliefs by your fingertips.

08-28-2006 09:56 AM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
Pelican
Regular Contributor
Pelican
And you cling on to your intangible, vaporous threats.

08-28-2006 08:31 PM

Re: For Professional woman approaching and over 40
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

PS:  You are over 40 since you claim to be an educator for 20+ years, hence you are unmarried and over 40.  Past your expiration date.  Go the pound and get some cats.

08-29-2006 10:14 AM

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