Give me my son over my career


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Give me my son over my career

Give me my son over my career
sgossage
Newbie
sgossage
I believe that being a housewife does not make one stupid or living in the 50’s. I always knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom and my husband supported me. I would not take any job for any amount of money for the time I have had with my son. I wonder which daycare are raising these career women’s children. Would she give up her $40,000 car and housekeeper to be a mom to her child?

People look totally aghast when I list N/A for employment on an application or I can’t give them a work phone number. Sorry, I am doing the most important job in the world: nourishing and loving my child and making sure he is raised by me and not a stranger.

08-25-2006 06:06 PM

Re: Give me my son over my career
Big_Daddy_Cool
Contributor
Big_Daddy_Cool

Highly respectable opinion

08-25-2006 06:12 PM

Re: Give me my son over my career
toadman
Regular Contributor
toadman

You’re a remarkable and rare woman nowadays. Thank you for looking out for your family and putting any career aspirations on hold while you raise himi or others you may decide on. It dosn’t go without reward and your hubby must be very proud.

So many careerist women miss out on their baby’s first words and steps taken, being in “stranger-care”, akin to a shameful dog kennel.

08-25-2006 06:17 PM

Re: Give me my son over my career
renaanne
Newbie
renaanne
I agree completely. I have a degree, I worked, but when I had my first child I quit. I have been happily at home for 7 years now and have 2 beautiful daughters that I homeschool. I joke often about how I wouldn’t ever want to have a “job” again. My girls are MY responsibility (and my hubbies) and if they grow up and aren’t functional members of society, it is MY fault. All these women that say I can have a career AND a family are looking the other way as the effects of women in the workplace take their tole on our society. You know daycare was initially for the poor families since both parents HAD to work. Now it’s an upper class thing to put your 2 year old in the best “school” that they’ve been on the list for since they were born. You speak by your actions…I say I will raise my children. Working women say…I will let a minimum wage, unskilled worker raise my children. Quite honestly, it would be easier everyday to dump my kids off at the nearest daycare and go to work. I could go to lunch, take off half day and get my nails done, use the bathroom in peace. But wait, then where would my children’s morals and values come from…oh yeah those same minimum wage, unskilled employees. Or we could wait until they start public school and let those poor overworked teachers discipline my children. Don’t have children if you are not going to raise them.

08-25-2006 06:43 PM

Re: Give me my son over my career
loopyadam
Visitor
loopyadam

Do you have any single sisters???
All jokes aside, thanks for sharing this.
My mother did the same for me and I
know that it made a huge difference for
me during my development into a man.

08-25-2006 06:44 PM

Re: Give me my son over my career
Back2TheKitchen
Regular Contributor
Back2TheKitchen
great for you sgossage

avoid those daycares that dont care

http://www.daycaresdontcare.org/

If only there were more women like you. A woman like you is worth more than anything in the world.

“With women or the female mindset imparted through feminization on the vast majority of society, it will be very easy to control the Empire…I mean…the republic.” – mirrorofthesoul.blogspot.com

08-25-2006 07:03 PM

Re: Give me my son over my career
IshWishDish
Regular Contributor
IshWishDish

Would she give up her $40,000 car and housekeeper to be a mom to her child?
Gosh, sgossage, I don’t know. Of course, I don’t have either of those things. In your great wisdom, tell me which of these things I should give up so I can be with my child:

1) Our house? It’s not a big house, and since it’s kinda old, we end up having to do a lot of repair work, but it’s the best we could afford. Without my income, though, we’d lose it in a heartbeat. Maybe we should move into a small apartment in cracktown. That’s what we could afford on just my husband’s salary.

2) All that expensive food we keep buying? Maybe I’m just being selfish, expecting to get to eat. And my son’s already really tall for his age; maybe he’d be better off if I nourished him with my time instead of so much chicken and cereal.

3) The electricity/gas/running water/heat/air-conditioning? Hey, we could really experience some old-fashioned family values if we just all huddled together around the fireplace for warmth every night and washed together in a basin of rainwater!

4) My husband’s respect and good will? See, I know this will be very hard for some of you to believe, but my husband wants me to work. Not because he’s just so darned supportive and wants me to be “fulfilled” as a modern gal. He wants me to work because he believes that responsible adults do that. They contribute their energy to the world and the fruits of their labor to their family. This is not me attacking housewives; this is my husband’s opinion. You’d never believe the arguments he and I have had in the past where I’ve fiercely defended a homemaker’s validity as a contributor to him. Sarcasm aside, realize this: just as all women do not support “feminism,” all men do not support traditional gender roles. Seriously, we almost divorced over it at one time.

Here’s my advice to everyone, traditionalist, feminist, whateverist you be: If you’d like to actually change any minds (instead of just getting pats on the back from people who already agree with you) stop making judgemental, condescending statements about the lives and motivations of people you don’t know. The world’s a big place; you’re just a leeeeeetttle tiny part of it, and no matter what you believe, you’re probably wrong about something. Take it into consideration.

08-25-2006 07:59 PM

Re: Give me my son over my career
pinkpantie80
Visitor
pinkpantie80

Thank you for sticking up for us Housewives.  I hear more and more women these days saying how they can’t imagine staying home with their kids.  I just can’t stand hearing that…i mean why did they have them then. I can’t imagine not being there to see my childs first step, first word or even there first shot at potty training.  Our job is one of the hardest jobs out there, we raise our kids, we guide them, we help them, and we encourage them through life, we teach them how to become a civilized individual (not picking there nose, and using the toilet).  I would never pay anyone to raise my child.

Thank you so much for supporting our career in life.

08-25-2006 08:18 PM

Re: Give me my son over my career
sgossage
Newbie
sgossage
Please do not think I critize everyone mom who has to work. My sister has to work full time because her husband would not keep a job. She would love to stay at home with her children, be able to volunteer at their school, go on field trips. She misses that and I hurt for her because of that. I am talking about moms who can sacrifice certain luxury items like our rebuttal article writer. She did not mention her children. She mentioned going off on a trip with her husband. If you have to work to feed and clothe your family I applaud you. That means you are not living off the government and you are taking responsibility for your family. And I know I am very blessed to stay at home. My husband and I make sacrifices every day to have that luxury. But I get 2 looks: the “Wow, you must be rich and spoiled”, or the “You must be stupid”. Being a full time mom is hard work. I am molding a boy into the man he will be, and it is a tremendous responsibility. I have to stay on top of things so that I can teach my son and I haven’t seen a college degree for that one yet.

08-25-2006 09:13 PM

Re: Give me my son over my career
singletxwoman
Contributor
singletxwoman
Thank you for your comments. I am offended that the writer of the original posts thinks that all of us working women have a $40,000 car and spend half of our days getting our nails done, etc. Many, many women work to pay for their homes, their bills, and for food for their kids to eat. We aren’t all driving luxury cars and going on European vacations. We either are single or have a husband whose income doesn’t pay the expenses. I think it is great for those of you who can stay home and raise your kids, but not all of us can do that. And btw, my boss doesn’t let me take off half the day to get my nails done or anything like that. SHE actually expects me to work.

08-25-2006 09:25 PM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Give me my son over my career

Re: Give me my son over my career
Pelican
Regular Contributor
Pelican
I don’t see that there’s a fight here, is there? Keeping house and raising a child is a very difficult job, and not one to ever be dismissed. But there are women out there who don’t want to be full-time caregivers, and so they might choose a different job outside of the home.

Women who are full-time mothers are admirable. So are women who balance a career and homelife. As long as no one’s neglecting their responsibilities in favour of watching soap operas or vacationing in Bali, I can’t object to different women making different choices.

08-25-2006 09:47 PM

Re: Give me my son over my career
careerwifemom
Visitor
careerwifemom

Well said, after I had my first child, I was bound and determined to be ‘Donna Reid’ and stay home vacuuming in my pearls……………….what a rude awakening I had!  I am very fortunate to be married to a man who understood I am not cut out to stay home.  My career gives me a creative outlet I could not get being ‘Donna Reid’  — I am very successful

Today I have periodically been reading the messages and responses, I find few comments that are valid, educated, or reasonable.

To the ladies, get off your high horses…………we are doing just fine and yes while I was appalled by Noer’s article what is ranting and raving going to get us?

To the gentlemen, maybe you need change with the times………..it is interesting that you can adjust your lives to accept many other changes…………….

For the working moms & wives…………..if your doing a good job, your kids and husband will let you know!  My teenage daughter says ‘my mom is a better mom because she goes to work’…………….then she tells me how much she loves me.  My son and daughter are constantly praised for the outstanding moral values, work ethic and for being overall good kids…………………. They are that way because my husband and I are good parents (not perfect!  But good)……… Friends of ours many times refer to my husband and I as Ken & Barbie…the perfect marriage……………(again not perfect! But very good)

So, everybody relax! Times are changing–choose your spouse based on your needs not Mr.Noers narrow minded opinion.

OK, now I will get off my soap box!

08-25-2006 10:36 PM

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