I strongly agree– my own personal experience


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – I strongly agree– my own personal experience

I strongly agree– my own personal experience
amory
Newbie
amory

I can vouch for the fact that marriages to women that are career-oriented types don’t work. I watched my mother miserably fail at caring for her family and her home while working long hours. Even when my parents hired a woman of color to do  traditional women’s work, it wasn’t enough. Not only were there the racist/ classist overtones of the situation to deal with, there was the added problem of raising two girls with no female role model. Finally my mother gave up her career, but it was too late. For one thing, she was always on anti-depressants. Once when she was drunk she said marriage to my father made her feel like a child prostitute– he gave her an “allowance”, and in exchange whenever he wanted sex, he took it. She helped him wipe himself, picked up his socks, and always had his favorite meal on the table when he came home. Overall, though, I could tell that she got a real sense of comfort and purpose from her devotion to his needs. This gave my sister and me some sense of direction– once, when I told my mom I wanted to be a lawyer, she laughed, reminding me to always have a sense of humor about my place. She did suggest that since I was well-known in our town as a good babysitter that I could become a housekeeper or nanny if I wanted to pick up some cash. When a friend of mine claimed to have been “molested” by her father, I tried to explain that he is the breadwinner,  but she insisted on bringing Child Protective Services into it. It tore that happy family apart. It was really sad to see.
Once I saw my mom reading a story by Charlotte Perkins Gilman called “The Yellow Wallpaper” in the laundry room. It wasn’t a religious text, cookbook, Glamour, W, or Town and Country, so I was curious and picked it up after she left to check on her roast. I couldn’t make sense of it– some crazy woman seeing things in wallpaper– but I think it had something to do with what happened next. She took an overdose of sleeping pills, was in the hospital and then left our father. Last thing I heard she had her pilot’s license, was SCUBA diving in Thailand, and couldn’t keep a relationship going with a man her age. All of her boyfriends are in their twenties and thirties. She seems happy but I know she must be in denial.
At any rate, my point in telling this story is to illustrate the way education and life outside the home– for women, at least– destroy the very foundations of our society. I certainly will never, EVER go to college.

Message Edited by amory on 08-26-2006 01:09 AM

Message Edited by amory on 08-26-2006 01:11 AM

Message Edited by amory on 08-26-2006 01:14 AM

08-26-2006 12:59 AM

Re: I strongly agree– my own personal experience
singletxwoman
Contributor
singletxwoman
Thanks for your thoughts!! I think a lot of people don’t get that all women are not happy staying home. That doesn’t make us bad people. It’s good to live in a day and age when we have options and can choose. If you don’t want to marry us because of this, then don’t. There are plenty of guys who do!

08-26-2006 01:56 AM

Re: I strongly agree– my own personal experience
sha_nnie
Contributor
sha_nnie

Amory,
I can’t say I agree with much you said. It seems you think it’s a woman’s lot in life to be a servant for their husband. I also found it very disturbing that when your friend divulged to you that her father had been molesting her, instead of supporting her you just went on to explain to her that he is the breadwinner. SO WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that doesn’t give him the right to molest his daughter for Gods sake!!!!! I also congratulate your friend for contacting the Child Protective Services and telling them what her father had been doing. You can’t blame her for tearing the family apart. Her father already done a good job of that when he molested her.

Message Edited by sha_nnie on 08-26-2006 05:57 AM

08-26-2006 05:55 AM

Re: I strongly agree– my own personal experience
Pelican
Regular Contributor
Pelican
You know, it actually took me a few reads to realise this was satire. Nicely done.

08-26-2006 06:20 AM

Re: I strongly agree– my own personal experience
Cassius
Regular Contributor
Cassius
ROfl well at least you did admit it.

08-26-2006 07:06 AM

Re: I strongly agree– my own personal experience
amory
Newbie
amory

thanks 😉

08-30-2006 08:34 PM

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