The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…

The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
tomshh
Regular Contributor
tomshh

The main problem I have with career women is this….

Most are in financial ruin.  They have no investments.  They have no capital.  All they have is a closet full of over priced clothes, and a rental apartement full of worthless over price furniture.  Oh yes, and an over priced brand new car, which she pays a ton of interest on every year.

See here are men’s choices…

1) Stay at home mom.

Pros:  Happy family, come home to clean house, food is ready, relaxing, the day of work is rewarded.

Cons: Not as much money.

2) Career mom.

Pros:  NONE

Cons:  Come home to a dirty house, food is out of the microwave or from McDonalds (barf).  The end of the work day means the REAL stress comes.  Late nights with home work, then 5 hours of sleep, and back up to do it again.  Oh and by the way, you have no more money than the option above, as you have your wife blowing your cash on crap you don’t need.

The only way I would ever consider marrying a career woman, is if she had a million in assets.  So that once kids come one of us can afford to stay home, if need be.  So ladies, you want to get our attention AND have a career…

1) Get your fat butts out of the mall, and to the gym.
2) Get a used old clunker car, and invest that money in some mutual funds.
3) Live CHEAP, very CHEAP.
4) With your excess capital, learn the stock market and learn to invest.
5) Get some real esate.

Then I might take you serious.  Having a career doesn’t mean JACK to me, any monkey can work to make someone else rich.

08-26-2006 03:08 PM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
Romulus
Regular Contributor
Romulus
You’re right. We aren’t afraid of career women. We just don’t want our lives becoming more complicated. The easier decision is to chose the woman who will keep the house in order and raise the family while we provide and support the family. Ladies, we don’t make our lives dramatic and complex, we keep things simple. This is why having a master’s degree, being strong and decisive, etc. is meaningless to us. We are looking for qualities that make our lives easier, not harder. The sooner you understand this the more successful you will be in finding a man.

Message Edited by Romulus on 08-26-2006 03:20 PM

08-26-2006 03:18 PM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
tomshh
Regular Contributor
tomshh

Yea, I would be all for marying a career woman.

But just having a “career” of sitting on your ass, and making $80,000 a year typing on a key board, while being in financial debt is absurd to me.

These cancers can stay away.

If you want to be a career woman, and get my attention, you better **bleep** well not only be able to turn me on, but you better have your ducks in a row when it comes to finances.

A million in assets seems fair to me.

08-26-2006 03:25 PM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
AnnG
Contributor
AnnG

I think I speak for most “career women” when I say that the fact that I would be unattractive to you will not cause me to lose a night’s sleep.

By the way, my investments are doing quite well, thank you very much.  I’m an excellent cook (just ask my husband), and I hate shopping for clothes.

08-26-2006 04:07 PM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
Marta2003
Regular Contributor
Marta2003

Romulus wrote:
We just don’t want our lives becoming more complicated. The easier decision is to chose the woman who will keep the house in order and raise the family while we provide and support the family. Ladies, we don’t make our lives dramatic and complex, we keep things simple. This is why having a master’s degree, being strong and decisive, etc. is meaningless to us. We are looking for qualities that make our lives easier, not harder. The sooner you understand this the more successful you will be in finding a man.
You appear to imagine women are any different.  The feminist movement happened because women wanted to make their lives less complicated.  The only obstacle to this simplification is that some men are obstinate and refuse to compromise.

So we’ve got a war on our hands.

Just don’t imagine it’s because men are innocent and women have unreasonable demands.

Message Edited by Marta2003 on 08-26-2006 04:47 PM

08-26-2006 04:47 PM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
Romulus
Regular Contributor
Romulus
Men and women can be equally obstinate and uncompromising. No argument there. But, when it comes to marriage, men have much more to lose. 1/2 their assets will be gone in the event of divorce, and courts always favor the woman’s side for asset allocation, custody issues, etc. Given this environment, it is imperative that a man be selective. Its no surprise that having an easier life for both husband and wife lessens the chance of divorce. Marrying a career woman brings more conflicts to the table and makes life for both parties more complex and difficult. I think a woman has every right to choose what she wants to do with her life. We do afterall live in a free country. But don’t get angry with us when we pick the woman who would rather be a housewife than the one who wants to have a career. In the end we have the potential to loose everything whereas women gain despite the outcome.

08-26-2006 05:11 PM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
Marta2003
Regular Contributor
Marta2003

Romulus wrote:
But, when it comes to marriage, men have much more to lose. 1/2 their assets will be gone in the event of divorce, and courts always favor the woman’s side for asset allocation, custody issues, etc.
This is true as a result of the SAHM model.  Fact: the reason for the current state of family law is that it is assumed women will lose capital and opportunity as a result of marriage.  By choosing a woman who stays home for a wife, you are perpetuating the problem.

08-26-2006 05:21 PM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
Romulus
Regular Contributor
Romulus

Marta2003 wrote:

Romulus wrote:
But, when it comes to marriage, men have much more to lose. 1/2 their assets will be gone in the event of divorce, and courts always favor the woman’s side for asset allocation, custody issues, etc.

This is true as a result of the SAHM model.  Fact: the reason for the current state of family law is that it is assumed women will lose capital and opportunity as a result of marriage.  By choosing a woman who stays home for a wife, you are perpetuating the problem.

Fact: whether a man marries a SAHM or a career woman, under today’s current laws he will lose 1/2 his assets. Currently, Courts do not differentiate. Until the law catches up (unlikely, since any law that is biased against women seemingly is declared unconstitutional and/or void) guess which choice makes a better risk to benefit option. Exactly, the woman who will stay at home.

08-26-2006 05:34 PM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
Marta2003
Regular Contributor
Marta2003

Romulus wrote:
Fact: whether a man marries a SAHM or a career woman, under today’s current laws he will lose 1/2 his assets. Currently, Courts do not differentiate.
Increasing the numbers of SAHM will not change the law though.

Until the law catches up (unlikely, since any law that is biased against women seemingly is declared unconstitutional and/or void) guess which choice makes a better risk to benefit option. Exactly, the woman who will stay at home.
That doesn’t make sense.  If the SAHM leaves you, she does so with more alimony and the same amount of child support.  If you live in a communal property state, having a working wife will result in you having more money after a divorce than you would if you were married to a SAHM.

Furthermore, it is clear that you have the victim mentality going there, when you describe fair and balanced family law as “law that is biased against women.”  It wouldn’t be biased against women, it would be fair.  If a woman is capable of earning money, she should not need support after a divorce.  Period.  Nothing biased about it.

Message Edited by Marta2003 on 08-26-2006 05:41 PM

08-26-2006 05:41 PM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
Romulus
Regular Contributor
Romulus

Marta2003 wrote:

Romulus wrote:
Fact: whether a man marries a SAHM or a career woman, under today’s current laws he will lose 1/2 his assets. Currently, Courts do not differentiate.

Increasing the numbers of SAHM will not change the law though.

Until the law catches up (unlikely, since any law that is biased against women seemingly is declared unconstitutional and/or void) guess which choice makes a better risk to benefit option. Exactly, the woman who will stay at home.

That doesn’t make sense.  If the SAHM leaves you, she does so with more alimony and the same amount of child support.  If you live in a communal property state, having a working wife will result in you having more money after a divorce than you would if you were married to a SAHM.

Furthermore, it is clear that you have the victim mentality going there, when you describe fair and balanced family law as “law that is biased against women.”  It wouldn’t be biased against women, it would be fair.  If a woman is capable of earning money, she should not need support after a divorce.  Period.  Nothing biased about it.

Message Edited by Marta2003 on 08-26-2006 05:41 PM

You’re absolutely right. Ultimately, a man has to weigh out which option makes his life and the marriage easier. Like I said before, career women bring more conflict to the table b/c of competing priorities. And communal property only applies to 9 states. Guess you have to be lucky in where you live. For me personally, I have enough conflict in my life as it is, the last thing I want is more. I’ll choose the SAHM.

Message Edited by Romulus on 08-26-2006 05:50 PM

08-26-2006 05:48 PM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
Epiphany
Visitor
Epiphany
If a woman works to support half of the family (income)before a divorce- she should not be entitled to any help after the divorce. Why should a man/ father have to foot the bill for the children and ex- wife? What help should she need if everything is fair and balanced during divorce? The problem is it’s not fair. How about fathers who pay child support for children they aren’t even allowed to see regularly? If a family splits up and women want “equal treatment” under the law, then they should be just as responsible to pay child support and loose child visitation rights as the men are today. I’m a married woman by the way. Equal is equal– not a step up over the head of the other for either sex.

08-26-2006 05:59 PM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
Marta2003
Regular Contributor
Marta2003

Romulus wrote:
You’re absolutely right. Ultimately, a man has to weigh out which option makes his life and the marriage easier. Like I said before, career women bring more conflict to the table b/c of competing priorities. And communal property only applies to 9 states. Guess you have to be lucky in where you live. For me personally, I have enough conflict in my life as it is, the last thing I want is more. I’ll choose the SAHM.
I can’t imagine that anyone would have a problem with that.  At least you’re honest and straightforward about it.

Now if only career women would do the same:  marry down and make it easier for yourself by having him stay home.

Message Edited by Marta2003 on 08-26-2006 06:03 PM

08-26-2006 06:01 PM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
labindenver
Visitor
labindenver

Wow, your lack of more realistic options is pretty limiting!  Most all the women I know don’t fit into either of your categories, nor the men for that matter.

I guess I should feel “blessed” that I am a career woman who has great investments (that is my trade), makes smart purchases, goes to the gym, eats much better than McDonalds, and can think of a million things I would rather do than go to the mall.

I find it interesting that you did not at all mention things like emotional and intellectual compatability, so that end-of-day sense of reward feeling is satisfying to both partners.  So all you want from your “woman” is a clean house and food on the table?  I can cite many relationships from my parent’s generation that had exactly that arrangement, yet the marriages ended in infidelity and divorce.

Seems perhaps you are just bitter.  Would you prefer a woman who values you only in direct proportion to the size of the paycheck you bring home?  Yikes.

08-26-2006 06:42 PM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
tomshh
Regular Contributor
tomshh

labindenver, good job trying to take the extreme, play ignorant (well, you may not be playing) to attempt to make a point.

Doesn’t work, and no men are buying it.

It is simple, we men are sick and tired of the half ass BS game.  You either get your A**es in the home and make us happy, or you actually do something meaningful with our lives, so that when you join us in marriage, you actualy bring something to the table.

Being good looking, and in shape, does not count.

Most career women I know are in financial ruin.  They spend as much as they make, and have nothing for their retirement.  They refuse to cook, they have to pay maid services to clean up after them. They are like big **bleep** children.  And since they can waddle out of bed 5 time a week, and make a wage slave middle class income salary, they think they are something special.

Give me a da*n break. You are even LESS than a Stay at home mom.

08-26-2006 07:44 PM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
Marta2003
Regular Contributor
Marta2003

tomshh wrote:
It is simple, we men are sick and tired of the half ass BS game.  You either get your A**es in the home and make us happy, or you actually do something meaningful with our lives, so that when you join us in marriage, you actualy bring something to the table.
And what’s your role in the relationship, snookums?  Just being your glorious ole self?

Puh-leez.  Fact is men are better off when they are loved by women.  They are more sickly when they are single and alone.  The chances of them refusing to interact are next to none.  They’ll have to adjust to the new woman.  Most already are.  But we do appear to have a few sick stranglers such as yourself.

I hope you get help.

Message Edited by Marta2003 on 08-26-2006 08:27 PM

08-26-2006 08:26 PM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
labindenver
Visitor
labindenver

Tomshh, though I am more than willing, obviously I don’t have to try too hard to make my point in this case, because you just did for me!!

I am doing something meaningful with my life, my finances are in great shape, and obviously the career women you know are not the same ones I know.

I would be more open to your argument if it was not so entirely focused on YOU.  You state you want a woman to make you happy, which is your right.  I also want a man to make me happy, which is my right.  But so far, you have not offered a compelling reason why a life taking care of you would be worthwhile.  Nothing wrong with wanting a stay-at-home wife to take care of your every need, but you better be willing and able to pony up something to make that trade off worth it to her as well.

You do not sound like the kind of man I would enjoy dinner conversation with anyway, so I have to concur with the other poster who said that she will not lose sleep over the fact that she would be an unattractive partner to you.  Your last comment that I am even “less” than a stay-at-home mom implies that you don’t think much of them either.  Maybe you just hate women.  Take your rantings elsewhere.  This is a Forbes site, and most of the readers, male or female, are interested in engaging and thought-provoking comments, not one-dimensional ones.

08-26-2006 08:28 PM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
singletxwoman
Contributor
singletxwoman
Wow, aren’t you stereotyping career women? I’m single and have a child, but I know many married women with a career. I go to work every day and come home and clean my house. Actually, my house is immaculate. I mow my own yard (and that’s at my house that I OWN not rent). I drive an average car. I don’t buy lots of expensive clothes – in fact, I hardly ever go shopping because I don’t like spending the extra money. I save 5% of my money in my 401K, which is invested, and another 3% goes to stock purchases for my company. I also have a savings account. I am very interesting in saving money and not trying to live above my means. Hmmm….and I’m a career woman. And, according to your statement this is suprising, I guess, I know a lot of career women that do the same things as I do. You generalized in your statement. Many, many career women do not do the things you stated. I also know many stay at home moms who blow money like crazy because they’re bored. It depends on the person. Stop making generalizations!

08-26-2006 10:03 PM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
singletxwoman
Contributor
singletxwoman
Thanks Ann. This guy is way out of line! And no, I don’t think any of us are concerned that he wouldn’t want to marry us.

08-26-2006 10:05 PM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
sunhawk
Regular Contributor
sunhawk
Most are in financial ruin. They have no investments. They have no capital. All they have is a closet full of over priced clothes, and a rental apartement full of worthless over price furniture. Oh yes, and an over priced brand new car, which she pays a ton of interest on every year.

_________

Where is your evidence of this?

08-26-2006 10:07 PM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
singletxwoman
Contributor
singletxwoman
Good point. I have a friend whose stay-at-home wife ran off with another man. He has to pay her alimony now because she claims she cannot work since she hasn’t worked in years. Of course, the fact that she has a baby with this other man doesn’t help her work situation. The court said if she had worked, he wouldn’t have to give her 20% of his salary now. And she doesn’t even have the kids – she was ruled unfit as a mother. So the argument of some of these men isn’t working. He’d been better off if he had married a working woman. And heck, maybe if she’d worked, she wouldn’t have become so bored and ran off with the other man!

08-26-2006 10:08 PM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
singletxwoman
Contributor
singletxwoman
See here are men’s choices…

1) Stay at home mom.

Pros: Happy family, come home to clean house, food is ready, relaxing, the day of work is rewarded.

This is a generalization. This is not always true. I’ve known several SAHMs who did not clean their houses, nor cook. And two of them I know were alcoholics and on anti-depressants. Both cheated on their husbands and left them (and they had good husbands who loved them). Some of the time, this is true, but not always. Don’t make a generalization you can’t back up.

08-27-2006 01:56 AM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
radiator
Regular Contributor
radiator

“But just having a “career” of sitting on your ass, and making $80,000 a year typing on a key board, while being in financial debt is absurd to me.”

Aren’t you describing a lot of men here?  Lawyers, for instance?  They do spend a lot of time sitting on their asses at keyboards–trust me.  Doctors, perhaps?  They usually have to borrow the money for school, unless they have rich parents.  I don’t see why you are singling out women for this supposed sin based on our unjust educational system.

“If you want to be a career woman, and get my attention, you better **bleep** well not only be able to turn me on, but you better have your ducks in a row when it comes to finances.

A million in assets seems fair to me.”

And if I’m gonna make my millions available to your sorry nether parts, you’d better turn ME on, baby.  Which you will never do, incidentally, since I am waaaay too smart to give a loser like you a piece of my sweet pie.

Sounds like Tommie wants a Sugar Mommie….

Do you have a job?  I see you are a “regular contributor” on these Forbes postings.  Perhaps you have a lot of free time on your hands.  Does your career wife support you so you can sit around the house all day and spew ignorant, uniformed venom and stir up hatred and violence because you feel emasculated?  I hope Forbes isn’t paying you to post this stuff…. That would be pretty sad indeed.

08-27-2006 09:02 AM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
PANDORASBOX123
Regular Contributor
PANDORASBOX123

I agree—career women that divorce shouldn’t expect child support and alimony.  Alimony only degrades women. However, there are many men who are awarded child support themselves after a divroce if they have custody of the children.  This is only fair if women expect the opposite.

I don’t think men should have to  pay child support for children that aren’t theirs either.  I know of a man that was married, and his wife became pregnant by another man.  In the divorce, the judge ordered him to pay child support because he was legally married to her at the time.  This is wrong.  This law needs to change.

08-27-2006 10:38 AM

Re: The problem with career women, that no one else has stated…
Epiphany
Visitor
Epiphany

I don’t think men should have to  pay child support for children that aren’t theirs either.  I know of a man that was married, and his wife became pregnant by another man.  In the divorce, the judge ordered him to pay child support because he was legally married to her at the time.  This is wrong.  This law needs to change.

I have only known of one case or the woman paying child support and she had 6 kids all with different fathers and was found unfit to keep any of them. They all went to their fathers and she has been to jail for failure to pay child support. She has never been married.

08-27-2006 02:59 PM

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