Chill Out People, He’s semi-right


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Chill Out People, He’s semi-right

Chill Out People, He’s semi-right
careerchick
Newbie
careerchick

First of all, you people are over reacting.  His first paragraph is making a little bit of fun of all the studies he cites later.  I read it like when you hear about a bunch of studies, (take any subject), and you say to yourself, well, I might as well eat all I want, or I might as well spend all my money, because the world is going to heck in a handbasket, etc.  We don’t eat all we want or spend all our money.  We just over react sort of in a flippant manner. Having said all that, I think he is still pretty close to being right in his conclusions.  I have worked for 40 years, I have an MBA, accounting degree, and a computer science degree, and had a so-called career.  I chose not to have children for my career.  I divorced my first husband because he didn’t fit into my career plans.  I was one of those leading edge baby boomer career women that helped clear the path for younger women coming into the working world.  In my experience working with other career women, and I am still involved with career women, the majority fit the description in the article.  Women who do hourly work I have found are doing it just for the money and want to leave at 5:00 to get home to their family.  The other funny thing is that the majority of career women I know don’t even want to work, but it is kind of expected now.  One of my girlfriends has a PhD in Chemistry and is in a high research position.  Her husband doesn’t work but takes care of the house and other things.  All she wants to do is quit her job, and ride horses, and wishes her husband would get a job.  I remarried and currently I have my own computer consulting business but I only do it part-time.  If I had my druthers, I would never work again the rest of my life.  I have so many other interesting things to do, ride and compete with my horse, play piano, read, hike, travel, oil paint.  Working in the corporate world is so passe.

08-27-2006 09:24 AM

Re: Chill Out People, He’s semi-right
sunji
Contributor
sunji

If I had my druthers, I would never work again the rest of my life.

Same here, who wouldn’t? Unfortunately, that’s just not reality. The reality is that it usually takes two incomes to support a family these days.

08-27-2006 09:29 AM

Re: Chill Out People, He’s semi-right
radiator
Regular Contributor
radiator

1) I would love to be independently wealthy and do whatever I want.  The problem with marrying that scenario is that the cost may be too high–i.e., I have to do what the guy wants because he is moneybags and wants some kind of trophy wife or its mommy equivalent.  I don’t want that kind of relationship.  However, if I were to meet a fantastic guy who adored me and wasn’t a retrograde misogynist like all the posters here, and was also rich so I didn’t have to work, and wasn’t 100 years older than me, I would probably marry him!  And possibly even have babies.  Or possibly not.  I have some other things I am working on now.

2) Actually, I think a lot of men would also like to stay home and not work.  My ex used to say this a lot.  He would love to be Mr. Mom.  Problem is, I don’t want a reversed situation.  I want a shared situation.  I don’t want to be anyone’s sugar mama.  Too much work and not enough play!  Too much work for men, too.  It’s true that you need two salaries now to get by, much less even have kids.  Have you seen Forbes’ list of what it costs to live “well”?  It’s pretty laughable unless you make $250K+.

3) I object to the article because it is a shallow representation of the issues, and it incites all the kind of venom spewed at women such as we witness on this blog.  It was irresponsible journalism.  We need better media.

08-27-2006 09:49 AM

Re: Chill Out People, He’s semi-right
porkchops38
Regular Contributor
porkchops38
What I’m seeing from so many women posting on this board is that they flatly refuse to be like a slave to any man (unless of course the man give them everything they want and expect nothing in return from them, so in that case they wouldn’t be a slave but a gold-digger), but they will gladly be a slave to a paycheck. It reminds me of the song that Sting sings where the lyrics say “…when you find your servant, is your master…” “ohhhh, you’ll be wrapped around my finger”…. Yes, you think the paycheck is your servant, but in reality it’s your master.

08-27-2006 11:45 AM

Re: Chill Out People, He’s semi-right
Hedgie
Regular Contributor
Hedgie

I know quite a few career women like you.

I bet you feel really good about not having children.

You may not have kids who love and adore and need you, but hey–you have an MBA to keep you warm at night.

08-27-2006 11:49 AM

Re: Chill Out People, He’s semi-right
MartianBachelor
Regular Contributor
MartianBachelor

I have to do what the guy wants because he is moneybags and wants some kind of trophy wife or its mommy equivalent.

I’d guess a guy couldn’t win with you: if he’s poor, he’s a loser; if he’s rich, he’s just a controlling jerk or should be hiring a maid service.

You do see this statement for the blatant misandry that it is, don’t you? Perhaps the **bleep** in question just wants an interesting and enjoyable companion who he can be proud of being seen in public with.

…I would probably marry him! And possibly even have babies. Or possibly not.

So if I say the stereotype of women being unable to make up their minds is true, will you cry “misogynist” again? (And why is misogyny a Bad Thing if the mistrust is justified?) And is the fact that you have a paycheck part of the source of your ambivalence? By which I mean if you didn’t have a paycheck would you be sorta forced to be the turkey’s arm candy?

Sorry, I didn’t mean to pick on you specifically, but your post just seems illustrative of many of the things being discussed around here.

______________________________________________
“The loudest, most strident voices calling women weak, stupid, and incapable of competing in the world at large are the feminists.” – zed the zen priest

08-27-2006 11:58 AM

Re: Chill Out People, He’s semi-right
radiator
Regular Contributor
radiator

As a matter of fact, I’ve had quite a few opportunities to be a gold-digger–and a “home-wrecker” (actually I blame the cheater, male or female, for wrecking the home)!  You would not believe how many married-with-children guys have come on to me (just to bring us back to the cheating topic which graced the original article….). NO JOKE.  But I chose to have my dignity instead–hence, another reason I’m not married at present.  And I’m not a home-wrecker.  And I think it’s dignified for the man, also, to have a real relationship rather than one based on greed or convenience or selfish ego needs.  If I happen to meet a rich guy whom I love and who loves me, why wouldn’t I marry him?  I’m not going to say to him, “Dude, I love you and you are the one for me, but I can’t marry you only because you’re rich.”  LOL

I don’t think I’m the master of my paycheck.  I also don’t think men are the masters of their paychecks.  I don’t know where you got this “glad to be a slave to a paycheck” idea.   I have to survive, so I earn my living at work which in fact I happen to find rewarding spiritually as well as financially.

So don’t misinterpret what I’m saying.

08-27-2006 12:02 PM

Re: Chill Out People, He’s semi-right
Jman
Contributor
Jman

If you say that we cannot live without duel incomes, then you do not have the liberty to chose to live on any less than two incomes. You are a slave to the two paychecks.

08-27-2006 12:51 PM

Re: Chill Out People, He’s semi-right
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

Only if your income is not very significant, and mine is quite significant, therefore I make sufficient income to maintain at least 7-10 households.  I guess I made better choices.

08-27-2006 01:22 PM

Re: Chill Out People, He’s semi-right
porkchops38
Regular Contributor
porkchops38

radiator wrote:
As a matter of fact, I’ve had quite a few opportunities to be a gold-digger–and a “home-wrecker” (actually I blame the cheater, male or female, for wrecking the home)!  You would not believe how many married-with-children guys have come on to me (just to bring us back to the cheating topic which graced the original article….). NO JOKE.  But I chose to have my dignity instead–hence, another reason I’m not married at present.  And I’m not a home-wrecker.  And I think it’s dignified for the man, also, to have a real relationship rather than one based on greed or convenience or selfish ego needs.  If I happen to meet a rich guy whom I love and who loves me, why wouldn’t I marry him?  I’m not going to say to him, “Dude, I love you and you are the one for me, but I can’t marry you only because you’re rich.”  LOL

I don’t think I’m the master of my paycheck.  I also don’t think men are the masters of their paychecks.  I don’t know where you got this “glad to be a slave to a paycheck” idea.   I have to survive, so I earn my living at work which in fact I happen to find rewarding spiritually as well as financially.

So don’t misinterpret what I’m saying.

My bad. I shouldn’t have said “gladly be a slave to a paycheck”, I should have said that they believe they have no other choice but to be a slave to a paycheck, because they flatly refuse to be anything remotely like being a slave to any man. But, I think many women on this board would say if those are the only two choices, then they will say they would “gladly be a slave to a paycheck” over the other alternative. We are all slaves to the system, men and women. The difference is that men generally don’t run around with a paycheck in their hand saying “I’m FREE!, I’m FREE!, THANK GOD I’M FREE AT LAST!”
So, when I see women think that a paycheck frees them, it’s laughable. The paycheck that they think has freed them (from whatever oppressor they believe they are beholden to), the paycheck that they think is their servant, in reality has become their master. That’s the bottom line right there.

08-27-2006 01:23 PM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Chill Out People, He’s semi-right

Re: Chill Out People, He’s semi-right
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

A man with money would never have chosen you for the following reasons:

1.  You are not attractive enough.
2.  You are likely overweight.
3.  You couldn’t enjoy yourself as you are too busy being angry and trying to prove yourself.
4.  There are many women who are younger, hotter, better in bed and can still carry on an intelligent conversation after smoking hot sex.   I doubt you have had smoking hot sex in years.
5.  The women men such as I select are ones who are comfortable in their own skin, and you obviously are not.
6.  You seek conflict.
7.  The women we select (who do comprise the majority), in addition to being beautiful, understand that it is easier to attract and maintain a relationship with honey that with vinegar (conflict, which you see to relish).

For these and many other reason you would never be the choice of a man with means and money.  It is all about you.  Men such as myself aren’t necessarily seeking someone to have children with but someone who can enjoy themselves, isn’t a nag (which you are), believes in working together (which you don’t) and doesn’t care about the finishing schools focusing on the teachings of Andrea Dworkin and the “SCUM Manifesto” which you clearly subscibe to.  If the shoe fits……

08-27-2006 01:41 PM

Re: Chill Out People, He’s semi-right
toadman
Regular Contributor
toadman

touche’.

09-01-2006 04:53 PM

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