Real reasons and criteria/steps for a man considering marriage….


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Real reasons and criteria/steps for a man considering marriage….

Real reasons and criteria/steps for a man considering marriage….
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

Women marry for security first and love a distant second.  Conversely, if you are a man and love is your 1st/primary criteria for selecting a partner you are making a serious mistake that will likely end badly.  There are a few rules which would be smart for any man to observe:

1.  Never marry before the age of 35.
2.  Never marry before you have purchased a home and established a retirement account.
3.  Never marry someone you met in your own workplace.
4.  Always have a prenuptial agreement which is reviewed by counsel for both parties and put off marriage for at least 6 months after a prenuptial is executed.
5.  Never allow your career earnings or assets prior to marriage to be attached in the event of a divorce.
6.  Have all your playing behind you, you are getting married, do it right.
7.  Only get married if you intend to have children, otherwise there is no benefit to you.  Realistically, there is no benefit to man at any time but it benefits children to have a 2 parent household and to not be raised by single mothers.
8.  Have detailed discussions and counseling before marriage regarding finances, children, expectations of each other, what you both will tolerate and will not tolerate.  Most people do not do this and it leads to problems.  Put it in writing so both parties can be reminded, if necessary.
9.  Take any money you would spend on an extravagant wedding and put it toward another piece of property or an investment.  Big weddings are a gross waste of resources and time and so incredibly stupid.
10. Insure that a prenuptial addresses issues such as:  total and complete waiver of spousal support, distribution of actual marital assets, parenting/custody if there are children, ownership of assets prior to marriage, ownership of career earnings, mediation to minimize attorneys fees and costs, etc.  Full disclosure is necessary by both parties to insure the prenuptial agreements validity and enforceability.
11. Maintain separate credits cards and credit accounts.  This promotes fiscal responsibility and aids in preventing your getting taken advantage of and being responsible for another person’s debts.
12. File separate tax returns (this is an issue a tax attorney should advise you on before decidinig).
13. Remember, 50% of all 1st marriages fail and over 70% of divorces are initiated by women and approx. 70% of all 2nd marriages fail.  Do not forget this when comtemplating marriage.
14. Ignore anyone who informs you that you need to spend 2-3 months salary on a wedding ring.  It is a stupid waste of cash.
15. Do not marry someone with problematic debts, they will follow you.

08-28-2006 01:38 PM

Re: Real reasons and criteria/steps for a man considering marriage….
Marta2003
Regular Contributor
Marta2003

I agree, 100%.  Not that you care, but there it is.

08-28-2006 01:49 PM

Re: Real reasons and criteria/steps for a man considering marriage….
Hapmarcar
Newbie
Hapmarcar
With about 3 minor changes…the same rules apply for us gals!

Women! ….marry for love and security There are a few rules which would be smart for any man to observe:

1. Never marry before the age of 30.
2. Never marry before you have established yourself in decent career and have saved built up a retirement account.
3. Never marry someone you met in your own workplace.
4. Always have a prenuptial agreement which is reviewed by counsel for both parties and put off marriage for at least 6 months after a prenuptial is executed.
5. Never allow your career earnings or assets prior to marriage to be attached in the event of a divorce.
6. Have all your playing behind you, you are getting married, do it right.
7. Only get married if you intend to have children, otherwise there is no benefit to you. Realistically, there is no benefit to man at any time but it benefits children to have a 2 parent household and to not be raised by single mothers.
8. Have detailed discussions and counseling before marriage regarding finances, children, expectations of each other, what you both will tolerate and will not tolerate. Most people do not do this and it leads to problems. Put it in writing so both parties can be reminded, if necessary.
9. Take any money you would spend on an extravagant wedding and put it toward another piece of property or an investment. Big weddings are a gross waste of resources and time and so incredibly stupid.
10. Insure that a prenuptial addresses issues such as: total and complete waiver of spousal support, distribution of actual marital assets, parenting/custody if there are children, ownership of assets prior to marriage, ownership of career earnings, mediation to minimize attorneys fees and costs, etc. Full disclosure is necessary by both parties to insure the prenuptial agreements validity and enforceability.
11. Maintain separate credits cards and credit accounts. This promotes fiscal responsibility and aids in preventing your getting taken advantage of and being responsible for another person’s debts.
12. File separate tax returns (this is an issue a tax attorney should advise you on before decidinig).
13. Remember, 50% of all 1st marriages fail and over 70% of divorces are initiated by women and approx. 70% of all 2nd marriages fail. Do not forget this when comtemplating marriage.
14. Ignore anyone who informs you that you need to spend 2-3 months salary on a wedding ring. It is a stupid waste of cash.
15. Do not marry someone with problematic debts, they will follow you.

P.S. I have been happily married to the same guy (first marriage for both of us)…for 11 years…3 kids…2 100K plus careers. The key to to be a team….give and take…work together toward common goals.

08-28-2006 02:02 PM

Re: Real reasons and criteria/steps for a man considering marriage….
Hapmarcar
Newbie
Hapmarcar
Same goes for us girls!

Women! ….marry for love and security There are a few rules which would be smart for any WOman to observe:

1. Never marry before the age of 30.
2. Never marry before you have established yourself in decent career and have saved built up a retirement account.
3. Never marry someone you met in your own workplace.
4. Always have a prenuptial agreement which is reviewed by counsel for both parties and put off marriage for at least 6 months after a prenuptial is executed.
5. Never allow your career earnings or assets prior to marriage to be attached in the event of a divorce.
6. Have all your playing behind you, you are getting married, do it right.
7. Only get married if you intend to have children, otherwise there is no benefit to you. Realistically, there is no benefit to man at any time but it benefits children to have a 2 parent household and to not be raised by single mothers.
8. Have detailed discussions and counseling before marriage regarding finances, children, expectations of each other, what you both will tolerate and will not tolerate. Most people do not do this and it leads to problems. Put it in writing so both parties can be reminded, if necessary.
9. Take any money you would spend on an extravagant wedding and put it toward another piece of property or an investment. Big weddings are a gross waste of resources and time and so incredibly stupid.
10. Insure that a prenuptial addresses issues such as: total and complete waiver of spousal support, distribution of actual marital assets, parenting/custody if there are children, ownership of assets prior to marriage, ownership of career earnings, mediation to minimize attorneys fees and costs, etc. Full disclosure is necessary by both parties to insure the prenuptial agreements validity and enforceability.
11. Maintain separate credits cards and credit accounts. This promotes fiscal responsibility and aids in preventing your getting taken advantage of and being responsible for another person’s debts.
12. File separate tax returns (this is an issue a tax attorney should advise you on before decidinig).
13. Remember, 50% of all 1st marriages fail and over 70% of divorces are initiated by women and approx. 70% of all 2nd marriages fail. Do not forget this when comtemplating marriage.
14. Ignore anyone who informs you that you need to spend 2-3 months salary on a wedding ring. It is a stupid waste of cash.
15. Do not marry someone with problematic debts, they will follow you.

P.S. I have been happily married to the same guy (first marriage for both of us)…for 11 years…3 kids…2 100K plus careers. The key to to be a team….give and take…work together toward common goals.

08-28-2006 02:07 PM

Re: Real reasons and criteria/steps for a man considering marriage….
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

Then maybe you don’t qualify as a vitriolic, angry feminist after all.  Commons sense is usually the same for both sexes.

08-28-2006 02:11 PM

Re: Real reasons and criteria/steps for a man considering marriage….
Cassius
Regular Contributor
Cassius
You forgot the most important, never marry a girl with divorced parents.

08-28-2006 02:27 PM

Re: Real reasons and criteria/steps for a man considering marriage….
Pete
Regular Contributor
Pete

Marta2003 wrote:

I agree, 100%. Not that you care, but there it is.

The steps a man must take today regarding marriage is necessary for a variety of reasons, not the least of which includes the poor state of modern American women like you.

Your stated “agreement” is worthless. Men who read it know right away what it is: an act of spite and insincerity, designed to taunt men who find women like you deeply unappealing and loathsome.

You may be able to fool your fellow career women into thinking you can have it both ways, so that you can “agree” with the male position while still keeping to your distorted view of “American womanhood,” such as it is.

But the fact is that your thinking and lifestyle are un-sustainable in the long run. Your greatest enemy is time. And make no mistake: time will, in the end, deal you a stern lesson in reality and the limits of childish, feminist behavior.

08-28-2006 02:41 PM

Re: Real reasons and criteria/steps for a man considering marriage….
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

I put the criteria out there, but I will never marry.  It is a bad investment, with precious little upside.  I rather waste my money at the roulette wheels, as I can usually double my money every 3-4 hours and never take less than $5K as my stake, the odds are better.

08-28-2006 02:42 PM

Re: Real reasons and criteria/steps for a man considering marriage….
Marta2003
Regular Contributor
Marta2003

Pete wrote:
Your stated “agreement” is worthless. Men who read it know right away what it is: an act of spite and insincerity, designed to taunt men who find women like you deeply unappealing and loathsome.
Actually, it really was just a statement of agreement.  Your paranoia apparently knows no bounds.  As do your delusions of grandeur:

But the fact is that your thinking and lifestyle are un-sustainable in the long run. Your greatest enemy is time. And make no mistake: time will, in the end, deal you a stern lesson in reality and the limits of childish, feminist behavior.
Plenty of career women are married and having kids, especially if you use Mr. Noer’s definition.  Anyone with over 30k and 35 hours a week?  The vast majority of American women will do this either their whole lives or most of them.  And they have kids at above the replacement rate.  Based on those simple facts, it’s pretty clear that no such thing is going to happen.

08-28-2006 03:21 PM

Re: Real reasons and criteria/steps for a man considering marriage….
leeraconteur
Regular Contributor
leeraconteur

Plenty of career women are married and having kids, especially if you use Mr. Noer’s definition.  Anyone with over 30k and 35 hours a week?  The vast majority of American women will do this either their whole lives or most of them.  And they have kids at above the replacement rate.  Based on those simple facts, it’s pretty clear that no such thing is going to happen.

Simply not true, and yet another unsupported assertion by Marta, the woman who insisted, 3 times, that I support my assertions.

There are two distinct groups of women that have children.

-Immigrants, with a large number of Hispanic women.
-2nd+ Generation American women, that includes a large number of college educated career women.

Without immigrant and Hispanic women, the U.S. would NOT be having kids at replacement rate.

08-28-2006 04:06 PM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Real reasons and criteria/steps for a man considering marriage….

Re: Real reasons and criteria/steps for a man considering marriage….
Pete
Regular Contributor
Pete

Marta2003 wrote:
Actually, it really was just a statement of agreement. Your paranoia apparently knows no bounds. As do your delusions of grandeur:

No, actually I had it right the first time.

I simply call it as I see it. And that includes calling out the ugly truth about yourself.

Pete wrote:
But the fact is that your thinking and lifestyle are un-sustainable in the long run. Your greatest enemy is time. And make no mistake: time will, in the end, deal you a stern lesson in reality and the limits of childish, feminist behavior.

Marta2003 wrote:
Plenty of career women are married and having kids, especially if you use Mr. Noer’s definition. Anyone with over 30k and 35 hours a week? The vast majority of American women will do this either their whole lives or most of them. And they have kids at above the replacement rate. Based on those simple facts, it’s pretty clear that no such thing is going to happen.

It is your female self-centeredness that knows no bounds.

And it is that same female self-centeredness that will also prove to be your undoing, as it also will be for that of American career women.

Message Edited by Pete on 08-28-2006 05:16 PM

08-28-2006 05:07 PM

Re: Real reasons and criteria/steps for a man considering marriage….
Marta2003
Regular Contributor
Marta2003

leeraconteur wrote:
Simply not true . . .
There are two distinct groups of women that have children.

-Immigrants, with a large number of Hispanic women.
-2nd+ Generation American women, that includes a large number of college educated career women.

Without immigrant and Hispanic women, the U.S. would NOT be having kids at replacement rate.
The average number of children per non-Hispanic white woman in the U.S. was 1.9 children, hardly what I’d call a death toll for the U.S. population.  Bottom line is that the population may shrink, but it certainly isn’t going to “die out,” your wishes notwithstanding. I’m quite sure Hispanic women will soon stop having as many kids.  It’s the natural progression once one enters into a free, democratic and prosperous society, as evidenced U.S. history up until this point.  Education and opportunity (as Mr. Noer so kindly points out) has an inverse relationship to the number of children a woman has.  There’s absolutely no reason for me to believe that the daughters of new immigrants will exhibit any other trend now that they have the opportunity to readily achieve higher education.

08-28-2006 07:40 PM

Re: Real reasons and criteria/steps for a man considering marriage….
Marta2003
Regular Contributor
Marta2003

Pete wrote:

Marta2003 wrote:
Actually, it really was just a statement of agreement. Your paranoia apparently knows no bounds. As do your delusions of grandeur:

No, actually I had it right the first time.

I simply call it as I see it. And that includes calling out the ugly truth about yourself.

Pete wrote:
But the fact is that your thinking and lifestyle are un-sustainable in the long run. Your greatest enemy is time. And make no mistake: time will, in the end, deal you a stern lesson in reality and the limits of childish, feminist behavior.

Marta2003 wrote:
Plenty of career women are married and having kids, especially if you use Mr. Noer’s definition. Anyone with over 30k and 35 hours a week? The vast majority of American women will do this either their whole lives or most of them. And they have kids at above the replacement rate. Based on those simple facts, it’s pretty clear that no such thing is going to happen.

It is your female self-centeredness that knows no bounds.

And it is that same female self-centeredness that will also prove to be your undoing, as it also will be for that of American career women.

Message Edited by Pete on 08-28-2006 05:16 PM

Hey, leeraconteur, since you like castigating people for substanceless, insult-laden posts so much, how about this one?  Going to say something about this?

I thought not, you hypocrit.

08-28-2006 07:42 PM

Re: Real reasons and criteria/steps for a man considering marriage….
Pete
Regular Contributor
Pete

Marta2003 wrote:

Hey, leeraconteur, since you like castigating people for substanceless, insult-laden posts so much, how about this one? Going to say something about this?

I thought not, you hypocrit.

No. I called you exactly what you are: an unappealing, loathsome woman. Because that is the personality you display. It is your actions, and your words that reveal these attributes about you. And you should be called on it. American women like you need to be castigated severely and unrelentingly.

That’s the problem today: men don’t call out bad female behavior enough, if at all. The lesson for men is that they are the ones who must watch out for and correct female bad behavior, because it is men who are responsible for the maintenance and survival of society. And part of maintaining society is making sure that women behave properly.

08-28-2006 11:02 PM

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