What was left out of this study?


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – What was left out of this study?

What was left out of this study?
onesweetheart
Newbie
onesweetheart

According to the various studies that were mentioned, one key subject was neglected. The expectation of responsibilities placed upon a career women and the lack there of for men. This is a very serious issue when it comes to being in a two-income marriage. For those men out there who are becoming angry, let me explain. As many of these posts have pointed out, men often get married to produce children. However, in today’s society, where women are also bread winners, they are often still expected to be the chaffeurs, cooks, housekeepers, care-givers, gardners, lovers and financial advisers. Furthermore, if you take into account elderly parents that will need caring (proven in numerous studies to become the responsibility of the female sibling), then the womens normal work week jumps from 35 hours to approximately 70 to 80 hours!

However, many of these same expectations are not placed upon men. This is primarily due to the fact that when women began entering the work force, they were still expected to be the family care providers. This is an anticipation that remains prominate even in today’s society. Therefore, often times, men take on few, if any, of the responsibilites of the typical house-wife.  Furthermore, in many households, women who complain about this unbalanced senario are often seen as being “feminist”, “whiney”, and “nagging”. This of course, would then cause the unseeing man to become sick, because he believes that he is being treated unfairly.

This senario occurs in approximately half of all marriages (notice something here).  When the women begins to feel undervalued, and under-appreciated, she then looks elsewhere for reinforcement and understanding. This of course, leads to a higher rate of divorce. Not to say that this is the case of all marriages or the eventual out-come, but it is a forseeable result.

The key to escaping this conclusion is to have a complete understanding of the expectations of each party in regard marriage and household responsibilities beforing making such a huge commitment. And when it comes to marriage in today’s economy, it is very hard to live on one-income. Therefore, men must be willing to assist their wife with household duties to make the marriage work. If each person is willing to work as part of a team to make things run smoothly, then the fact that the women is career minded need never be taken into account.

08-28-2006 03:13 PM

Re: What was left out of this study?
MartianBachelor
Regular Contributor
MartianBachelor
Oh yes, the myth that a working woman really has two careers because the man she chose to marry is a deadbeat and dolt, just a couch-potato demanding beers be brought to him… I think you’ve seen too many sitcoms or episodes of Oprah, or just been exposed to too much of our feminacentric mainstream media in general.

So, here’s an up-to-date summary of where the current research is on your specious claim:

Are American Husbands Slackers? ( http://www.glennsacks.com/are_american_husbands.htm )

______________________________________________
“The loudest, most strident voices calling women weak, stupid, and incapable of competing in the world at large are the feminists.” – zed the zen priest

08-28-2006 06:16 PM

Re: What was left out of this study?
litedesign79
Visitor
litedesign79

One article couldn’t convince me that I’m hallucinating when I visit my married female friends, the ones with jobs as well.  The ones who are doing the dishes, while we talk.  I’m not complaining for them.  They seem quite happy with their lives.   I’m just saying they do more housework.

08-28-2006 06:58 PM

Re: What was left out of this study?
dflynn5656
Contributor
dflynn5656
You said –

The expectation of responsibilities placed upon a career women and the lack there of for men. This is a very serious issue when it comes to being in a two-income marriage. For those men out there who are becoming angry, let me explain.

Really?

Let’s say it right –

1.) You went out and got all the degrees and ran up the school bill

2.) You went and got the career

3.) You never bothered to learn to do what mom and grand mom knew. You never went to church or bothered with “women’s skills”.

4.) You hit 40 and the party ended when men stopped calling

5.) Now marriage looks good – assuming you can find a man who’ll do what mom did.

What part of this is supposed to be attractive to a man?

You said –

However, many of these same expectations are not placed upon men. This is primarily due to the fact that when women began entering the work force, they were still expected to be the family care providers.

I reply –

Incorrect – those “career girls” are NOT expected to do both mommy and daddy’s work. They made their choice (to never be marriage material).

They never once though “What would a good man want in a woman” when they did their life plan. They thought – “What would give ME the most power.” And “any man MUST want me to be happy”

Wrong – good men want what’s best for their children – and that is a woman who places THEM first (ahead of career).

Well – now you have it…enjoy it…alone.

David

08-28-2006 10:57 PM

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