Why are all the responses so Extreme?

Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Why are all the responses so Extreme?

Why are all the responses so Extreme?
After reading the article, I did have some opinions, but they were nowhere as strong as the posts I’ve been reading. Admittedly, only after reading many posts(agreeing with some, and also being surprised at other more immature responses) did I realize that I’m just not that extreme.

With regards to the article, I was mostly surprised by the fact that Forbes needed to include a woman’s response, especially one that seemed a harsh and defensive, and extreme.

I can agree that it’s likely that the statistics in the original article are not as solid as the author would present them to be, given the fact that he likely did pick and choose items that matched his analysis of the findings and facts.

On the other-hand, I can see, anecdotally, how his conclusions could be supportable. In my experience, I have a greater chance of meeting more confrontational and uncompromising women who are professionals. Of course, you can meet them anywhere, i.e. I know an extremely headstrong and dominating women that never finished high school and is a housewife, but on the other hand I know at least twice as many professional women who have too much pride and are very high on their own preconceptions. To temper my response however, the vast majority of women that I know are kind hearted and I would not be less inclined to have a relationship with any of them; so vast a majority that I really only know about 4 women out of hundreds that would fit the mold of really poor companion that I could never really trust (or at least it seems so, as I’ve never tried to date these women.)

But doesn’t it make some sense, that busy women could somehow (perhaps in a very small statistical way, i.e. 2% vs 1% is still twice as likely!) increase the risk of a failed marriage? So I can’t believe that such an incensed response could be directed at a not entirely unreasonable conclusion. The only conclusion thus, that I could make as a reader, was that the ideas presented by those incensed are not logical and self-serving.

The replies that I’ve read don’t sound like they would reflect the majority of men and women. The female responses honestly sound like extreme/petty feminism.

I.e. by Wilburnts: So, any man who agrees with that article, can go find one of those “nonbusiness, happy women”, We’ll be alot happier without you I can tell you that!

– So if I can agree that this article could possibly have some basis, then all women would be better off without me? My girlfriend and my best-friend would probably disagree with that. The female responses have almost always belittled the males, sometimes obviously calling them names or attacking their manhood. There is probably no stronger sign of a bitter feminist then the projection of the desire for a phallus into insults directed at all men. This seems true given that responses are generally very aggressive, except when the responder is completely agreeing with them or complementing them.
To all the posters that think that men shouldn’t even be entitled to agree with this type of article without being branding as trash beneath them; think why do you ignore logical arguments, is it because they would unravel your purpose? Why can’t you accept some moderation, would that somehow weaken you? Just chill out and don’t push extreme feminism so hard, men are not all bad. Once you learn that you will be a much happier person.

On the other hand, the male responses are indeed misogynistic.

I.e. Calling all the women posters “femnazi’s”, or men going on an on about how marriage is so unfair to men and that women only want to get married because they know they can stiff the man at anytime.

– It is true that now many marriages end in divorce, and some marriages end with very bitter ex-husbands and ex-wives, but many people are not that bitter. My friends don’t think that the women we date only want to lock us down, maybe we joke about it, but no one really thinks that their sweetie is just trying to f-them over. We know that this happens because people change as they mature, and that you may have chosen your life mate at the wrong time. Generation Y and later, knows that if they get married (too) early they are taking a risk of a bitter future, but sometimes its worth it if you think you know what you are doing. But marriage failure in general isn’t because women are evil, or that feminists are making all women uncompromising princesses that only want what’s best for them. They are because you married the wrong person that you thought was the right person, either because A. you don’t know what you want in a mate or B. they or you changed or maybe C. they were not the person you thought they were during your too short courtship. However in none of those instances was it because D. Woman wants to ruin your life and take 50% of your money, and knew it all along and suckered you good while you were an innocent guy just living in a dreamworld of sensitivity and honesty.

In summary, stop hating each other. When you start hating groups of people, rather then individuals, you are the one who is more likely disturbed or have an issue. Imagine someone who hates all puppies, is it more likely that puppies are indeed evil, or is it more likely this person had a bad experience with a puppy?

For all the people that hate women or men so fiercely, step back and consider, is it possible that you are not very well adjusted, have trauma that would benefit from medical attention, or have built a life around you where you avoid more progressive thinking (through friend / mate selection)?

For everyone else that is either just lurking, or have more moderated opinions, you know that people are not this spiteful; just return to real life and ignore all the Internet “outliers”. I don’t hate the Internet or posting on it, just saying that many of these responses seem to statistically be outliers, likely due to the fact that the nature of the article attracts very strong opinions.

Message Edited by Water88 on 08-28-2006 06:22 PM

08-28-2006 06:13 PM

Re: Why are all the responses so Extreme?
Regular Contributor

I have been wondering that myself.

08-28-2006 08:17 PM

Re: Why are all the responses so Extreme?
Any Responses?

09-06-2006 11:19 AM

Click on the board or message subject at the top to return.

%d bloggers like this: