… and me


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – … and me

… and me
Isis
Contributor
Isis
I have known love.

He passed away, three years ago this week, and I miss him all of the time.

But clearly, I am luckier than all of you.

Even if this means that I spend all of my days alone, with my cats and my career, I am luckier than those who see marriage as a risk or a financial transaction.

I am luckier and more blessed than you all.

08-29-2006 05:43 PM

Re: … and me
Jet_Jaguar
Contributor
Jet_Jaguar

I’ve never trasitioned that quickly from sympathetic to uncaring in my life.  In just 2 short sentences no less.

Enjoy your cats.

08-29-2006 05:57 PM

Re: … and me
Isis
Contributor
Isis
i am not sure what you mean.

I am just saying that so many people on this board seem so angry and hurt and unhappy.

And as sad as I am that I have lost the man I loved, I realize that I was lucky to find him.

Somehow so many people here, whether through bad luck, or choices they made or just their approach to the world haven’t known what it means to find someone to love.

I just think that is very very sad. Even more sad than losing someone I loved.

08-29-2006 06:01 PM

Re: … and me
Jet_Jaguar
Contributor
Jet_Jaguar

You’re wagging your finger in the faces of a lot of men who have either been destroyed by a system that hates them (government, family courts, child custody, alimony, etc.), have seen far too many men destroyed by it, or are avoiding it with good reason.  You’re rubbing your loving relationship in the faces of a lot of men who also would have loved to have a loving relationship had it not been for all of the ideological indoctrination and man-hatred taught to women at a very young age.  It’s like saying “nanny-nanny-boo-boo, I got mine, too bad for you”.  You’re only going to provoke anger with that sort of post and I think you know it.  “I’m luckier and more blessed than you”?  Don’t play innocent.

Man-hatred is so pervasive, that it’s not even noticeable to most women, but it comes out every time they start calling us “small **bleep** losers”, “commitment-phobes”, “cowards”, “whiners” and “losers”.  It comes out every time they call us oppressors and blame us for all wars, call us abusers, violent, unfeeling, jerks, etc.  If you cared, you wouldn’t be rubbing this in our faces.

You only prove what I already know about women.  Women don’t give a **bleep** about men’s feelings.  Oh, they want men to care about and pander to their feelings, but all I’ve seen here the last couple of days is a whole army of “mommies” chastising these men for not agreeing with their worldview.  A whole plethora of women not even listening to what men are saying.  All they’re doing is denying and negating men’s feelings and telling them how they should feel instead.  I can’t tell you how many married men I know that cannot reveal their true feelings to their wives because it would “hurt” them.  That’s why husbands shut down on their wives and don’t communicate, because their wives emotionally abuse them into submission, and emotional abuse is just as damaging to a man as physical abuse is to a woman.

This is what has been happening on a larger scale as well.  Men are venting the built up anger inside of themselves that is boiling over because they’re sick of holding it in.  They’ve been holding it in because THEY ALREADY KNOW IF THEY REVEAL THEIR FEELINGS TO WOMEN THAT THEY’LL BE SHOT DOWN, THEY’LL BE CALLED ANGRY, BITTER LOSERS AND TOLD TO “TAKE IT LIKE A MAN”.  But they realized that the time for being reasonable and rational is over because women don’t respond to that.  So now they’ve simply reached the point where they’re telling women to “**ck off”.  They’ve had man-hatred poured on them for so long that they’re numb to it.  The more you criticize and chastise us, the more it confirms what we already know about women and that is women don’t give a **bleep** about men except to the extent to how well we can serve their needs.  But ask them to serve a man’s needs, and we’re back in the 1950’s and she’s a Stepford Wife who’s being “dominated”.

Feminism and the stupid, narcissistic, totally self-obsessed women who have gone along with it have poisoned the well for you. It is perfectly reasonable for you to expect some degree of fairness and regard for your needs in a relationship, but you are dealing with a population of men who exists largely in a state of severe emotional deficit. So many women have ripped them off for so much that women are going to have to do a whole lot of proving themselves to them before they will give her half a chance to rip them off again.

You may be looking for sympathy by mentioning your dead lover, but you immediately lose my sympathy and my caring when you show that you have absolutely no regard for my, or other men’s feelings.  You don’t offer a sympathetic ear, you’re just contemptfully rubbing your happiness in our faces.  And for a guy who has had to deal with a population of narcissistic, self-absorbed, self-centered, self-serving, man-hating, contempt-filled women destroyed by feminism, it’s really sickening.

08-29-2006 06:32 PM

Re: … and me
Isis
Contributor
Isis
Dear Jet Jaguar,

Thank you for replying. You are definately carrying alot of frustration.

First, let me say that this is all very interesting to me, because I haven’t participated in these kinds of relationships much. I am not pretty, and I am somewhat overweight, so men do not often ask me out or express interest in me. I have been very fortunate to have a few long term relationships. I have not experienced divorce, or angry, vitriolic situations that are described here.

You refer to:

all of the ideological indoctrination and man-hatred taught to women at a very young age.

Now, I don’t hate men. I have met some men who were jerks, and so I have avoided them. And I have met some men who were financially irresponsible, and I knew they wouldn’t make good long term companions. But I have also known kind men, and responsible men, and caring men, and men who have taken time to mentor my career. I recognize that men are individuals, just like women, with strengths and weaknesses.

So I find myself wondering where your anger, and the anger of other men, comes from. I don’t think I am that special, so there must be other women like me, who do not hate men the way you describe.

I posted what I did because I found this entire thread entirely depressing, heart-breaking in fact. And I guess I just wanted to remind myself and others that love does exist, that it is possible. Yet, you turned it around, that I was rubbing your nose in my happiness, wagging my finger, saying nya nya.

Do you think, that there is a possibility that when you automatically twist things around to the negative, that when you find hurtful intentions where there were none, that you just might alienate those who might have sympathy for you and would be willing to care for you? And thus fulfilling your own prophesy that all women hate all men?

just a thought.

Message Edited by Isis on 08-29-2006 07:56 PM

08-29-2006 07:02 PM

Re: … and me
PANDORASBOX123
Regular Contributor
PANDORASBOX123

Jeff?

08-29-2006 07:15 PM

Re: … and me
PatriarchVerlch
Regular Contributor
PatriarchVerlch

Hopefully your cats won’t watch you slip into depression when your eggs dry up. You only have 360 of them, remember? I’ve got 10 trillion sperm in a lifetime and can have children at 100. Also remember male minds started and continue to fund feminism to this day. I beleive they do this, well its up for debate.

Women have been proving for the last 30 years that men have been right for the last 30 centuries!
http://www.verlch.blogspot.com

08-30-2006 03:33 AM

Re: … and me
Jet_Jaguar
Contributor
Jet_Jaguar

————————————————-
I have known love.

He passed away, three years ago this week, and I miss him all of the time.

But clearly, I am luckier than all of you.

Even if this means that I spend all of my days alone, with my cats and my career, I am luckier than those who see marriage as a risk or a financial transaction.

I am luckier and more blessed than you all.
——————————————————

You’re luckier than those who see it as a risk or financial transaction?  You don’t see that it’s a flippant dismissal of the legitimate grievances aired here from men?  That was my point which you completely missed.  I wasn’t going to respond to this since you’re playing your innocent act and trying to grab some high ground, but the blatant dismissal of what we’re saying is obvious.  That’s what I mean by women not listening to what men say.  If you think that’s twisting, you’re dumber than I thought.  You’ve already alienated ME by dismissing my point of view.  I’m not alienating you.  You’ve already shown your spots.

And “I am luckier and more blessed than you all”.  How the hell do you know that?  Why, because your marriage never had a chance to end badly?

I don’t discount love, I discount marriage.  And for the billionth time, read a few ****ing threads that discuss this subject ad nauseum.  If you haven’t experienced it, as you say, then don’t be so quick to dismiss it.  Perhaps read and learn and don’t get depressed about it.

Feminism was a hate movement.  Women who bought into it, also bought into the demonization of men.  Most men can only conclude, that women don’t really like us all that much.  So we give them as wide a berth as possible.  And part of that includes not allowing them to destroy us by divorcing us.  Get it?  Your love could still exist without that marital contract.   After all, love conquers all… except maybe a judge, divorce lawyers, and beefy bailiffs.  I figure, if a woman really and truly loves me with all of her heart, then she WOULD NOT NEED ME TO MARRY HER.  Our love should be enough.  Sadly, that isn’t the case.  Most need the inapproptiately termed “security” that a marital contract gives them to reign Hell-fire on a man  who doesn’t make her feel “speshul”, or when she gets “bored”.

You find it depressing because you recoil in horror that there are men out there that don’t have the rosy view of things that you do.  But rather than actually try to find out why, you simply dismiss us, and use a bunch of 11th grade psychobabble (the afrementioned self-fulfilling prophesy) to try and cover up for what I called you on.  And you can’t see why I reacted the way I did.
The only thing that frustrates me is that I’m actually trying to reason with you.

08-30-2006 04:52 AM

Re: … and me
Isis
Contributor
Isis
Wow Jaguar, you are one unhappy dude.

I do agree with you on one point, though.

I figure, if a woman really and truly loves me with all of her heart, then she WOULD NOT NEED ME TO MARRY HER.

Marriage is a few different things. It is a legal contract, a way to protect children and a religious contract.

If I met someone I loved, and we weren’t interested in the religious contract, and we weren’t going to have children, and we didn’t have to worry about inheritance and taxes and hospital visitation, then you are right, we wouldn’t have to get married.

Lots of gay people commit to each other for long term relationships, without being legally or religously married.

I just think it is sad that you and other people have been hurt by unpleasant women, and are therefore extrapolating your expectations for **all** women.

08-30-2006 08:53 AM

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