Question for the men


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Question for the men

Question for the men
CH
Contributor
CH
I support most of what the men have to say but I do find one flaw in their arguments. For all of you who want the traditional stay at home girl, do you really think that she’s going to want to marry someone that killed off the days before he met her by sleeping around with every beautiful woman he could get his hands on? Maybe you’ve all become to cynical to care or consider that angle. Just curious about your thoughts on that.

08-29-2006 04:56 PM

Re: Question for the men
OutsourceWomen
Visitor
OutsourceWomen
I believe you have a valid point.

I personally have not slept around (American women hate me, but when I’m in Asia things are better), therefore I expect a woman who has not slept around either.

I am going to marry a foreign woman who has not slept around (I will get to know her family and her church and her friends).

08-29-2006 04:59 PM

Re: Question for the men
dumbbroad
Regular Contributor
dumbbroad

i already asked the same question and the response was that they like sex and will take it wherever they can get it until that traditional girl comes along. i assume that traditional girl should be so grateful to have such a heaping help of man that she shouldn’t worry her pretty little head about things that occured before marriage.

08-29-2006 05:02 PM

Re: Question for the men
GenghisKhan
Regular Contributor
GenghisKhan

CH wrote:
I support most of what the men have to say but I do find one flaw in their arguments. For all of you who want the traditional stay at home girl, do you really think that she’s going to want to marry someone that killed off the days before he met her by sleeping around with every beautiful woman he could get his hands on? Maybe you’ve all become to cynical to care or consider that angle. Just curious about your thoughts on that.

One thing I’ve noticed with dating women is that once you get a woman emotionally attached to you, she will do anything for you and justify in her mind every single one of your flaws. We see it all the time with women in abusive relationships – whether they be physical or emotional abuse.

08-29-2006 05:02 PM

Re: Question for the men
fishnamedjames
Regular Contributor
fishnamedjames
I don’t really think it’s clear what every “traditional” woman would think about that–I’m sure you’d find some who would be okay with it or at least forgive it. On the other hand, anecdotally I know a lot of women who are searching for wholesome virgins like themselves, who share their beliefs and values. Tough to say whether they’d really trust a guy who had a lot of sex with other women.

08-29-2006 05:04 PM

Re: Question for the men
shovel
Regular Contributor
shovel
I am going to marry a foreign woman who has not slept around (I will get to know her family and her church and her friends).

As much as we most likely disagree on everything else, I respect your consistency. If a man or woman isn’t sleeping around before settling down, I think it’s totally reasonable to demand that in a partner.

08-29-2006 05:08 PM

Re: Question for the men
Hedgie
Regular Contributor
Hedgie

“For all of you who want the traditional stay at home girl, do you really think that she’s going to want to marry someone that killed off the days before he met her by sleeping around with every beautiful woman he could get his hands on?”

Who says she needs to find out?

08-29-2006 05:14 PM

Re: Question for the men
toadman
Regular Contributor
toadman

“do you really think that she’s going to want to marry someone that killed off the days before he met her by sleeping around with every beautiful woman he could get his hands on?”

Traditionally chastity was a virtue. The thrill of the chase to win a woman’s favor kept men in line. You need only look at the results of women’s liberation and introduction of the Pill to see that the ultimate backfire and mess it’s caused. Men can sleep around with as many women if they choose so BECAUSE THEY CAN. It’s a virtual smorgasboard of poon for bad boys and PUA’s(Pick Up Artists).
Feminism has only itself to blame for rampant male promiscuity.

Message Edited by toadman on 08-29-2006 05:18 PM

08-29-2006 05:15 PM

Re: Question for the men
momjeans
Visitor
momjeans
So why the double standard? Men want to marry virgins but women aren’t supposed to care about how many sex partners their future husbands have had? This makes no sense.

08-29-2006 05:21 PM

Re: Question for the men
CH
Contributor
CH
Toadman: I think you missed the point of my question. It was not why do you sleep around. That’s obvious to any woman who has an ounce of intelligence, and I promise you that despite a lot of the comments out there, there are a few of us left. My questions was directed more to the men who still hold out hope of meeting someone with traditional values and virtue. Do you think that a woman who maintains her dignity by not sleeping around with everything that comes along will want to end up with someone who has been with every woman who has crossed his path? Some women still have standards in that department. In response to hedgie’s question of “Who says she has to know”. I think that’s an honest and fair answer but if she asks and you lie, it’s not a good foundation for that honest relationship most people are seeking out. Maybe that’s something you don’t care about and that’s fine.

08-29-2006 05:22 PM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Question for the men

Re: Question for the men
fishnamedjames
Regular Contributor
fishnamedjames
Toadman: If a guy starts trying to blame feminism for -his acts- of sleeping around, that’s too bad. I’m sure that’s not your implication, though.

08-29-2006 05:23 PM

Re: Question for the men
Jet_Jaguar
Contributor
Jet_Jaguar

How terrible!  Why would she judge me negatively just for exercising my sexual liberation?  How dare you label a guy a **bleep** or whore for simply exercising his sexual freedom.  I mean, what is this, the 1950’s?  Why don’t you just go make my coffee, get my paper and fetch my slippers too?
How dare you denigrate men for sleeping around.  Oh, I get it, the old double-standard.  When a woman sleeps around it’s “sexual liberation”, “enjoying her single life” and “Sex & the City”, but when a man sleeps around he’s a cad, whore, jerk, player, womanizer, scumbag and a-hole who is just “using” women.

How sexist!!

08-29-2006 05:33 PM

Re: Question for the men
Doc_Savage
Regular Contributor
Doc_Savage

In my case I have never stated that I want to marry a “traditional stay at home girl”.

I have slept around and I would not expect any potential mate to be a virgin or anything close to it.

I also have nothing against marrying a “career girl” who earns more than me should I feel that I have met “the one” and marriage could be very good for both of us (assuming she wants children that is, otherwise there is no good reason to get married in the west at this point in time).

My reason for posting here is because I couldn’t believe the hypocrisy of some of the women who objected to the opinion piece by Mr Noer. Men have had to endure much worse from the media over the last 40 years yet most have just accepted it and moved on in silence.

Normal marriages between your average income types are risky enough as it is in these times. When you have two dedicated high flyers it’s obviously even more risky.

So what?

Mr Noer hasen’t made any amazing revelations that any Gomer Pyle with two or three brain cells couldn’t figure out.

So why did so many women go nuts and complain about the original feature?

08-29-2006 05:41 PM

Re: Question for the men
shovel
Regular Contributor
shovel
How terrible! Why would she judge me negatively just for exercising my sexual liberation? How dare you label a guy a **bleep** or whore for simply exercising his sexual freedom. I mean, what is this, the 1950’s? Why don’t you just go make my coffee, get my paper and fetch my slippers too?
How dare you denigrate men for sleeping around. Oh, I get it, the old double-standard. When a woman sleeps around it’s “sexual liberation”, “enjoying her single life” and “Sex & the City”, but when a man sleeps around he’s a cad, whore, jerk, player, womanizer, scumbag and a-hole who is just “using” women.

How sexist!!

I don’t think that’s the point – he or she is just asking about men with a lot of experience demanding a chaste bride.

Personally I think relationships in which each person has had around the same number or partners and/or experience tend to work out better. Doesn’t matter how many either way, because I would never judge someone a “prude” or “**bleep**” based on the numbers.

08-29-2006 05:44 PM

Re: Question for the men
Hedgie
Regular Contributor
Hedgie

When I was in my teens, I got used to the idea that American women were gold-digging whores. Fine. That’s not how I was raised, but I could get used to it.

Later on, I learned to tolerate the notion constantly echoed in the media and schools that women are smarter, more hard-working, and make better leaders than men. Great. I decided to keep my mouth shut and my head down.

When I got a little older I discovered that by and large American women gave up on marriage and family a long time ago. They were interested in living only for themselves. Fine. I told myself to take what I wanted from them, avoid attachment and commitment, and move on.

But now, I’m catching flak for sleeping with them.

Incredible!

08-29-2006 05:44 PM

Re: Question for the men
bowenj10
Contributor
bowenj10

Honestly, in my personal experience, women from other cultures don’t really care.  I have never been asked (by a foreign woman of course) about my previous life.  And I never bothered to ask either.  I assume that a woman has been with other men before me unless she tells me otherwise.  Even in many conservative parts of the world, women are far more sexual than American women could ever hope to be.  They just have the common sense not to let on about it.  Don’t mistake our intentions.  Many men don’t necessarily want a virgin.  What we don’t want is a whore.  There is such thing as a good woman who also enjoys sex (even after she’s tasted wedding cake).  You just have to look elsewhere.

08-29-2006 05:45 PM

Re: Question for the men
toadman
Regular Contributor
toadman

“Do you think that a woman who maintains her dignity by not sleeping around with everything that comes along will want to end up with someone who has been with every woman who has crossed his path?”

That path of women he comes across are not harlots, sluts or prostitutes anymore. Stigma and societal shame are non-existent.  They are everyday women indocrinated by 2 generations of femmy BS, Sex and The City,  Desperate Housewives. ad nauseum who have little to no idea there are repercussions to such behavior. Your issue is with the sisters, not men’s biological drive to inseminate every woman he meets. Which by no means gets men off the hook, but look at the target-rich environment women’s lib has created.

08-29-2006 05:45 PM

Re: Question for the men
CH
Contributor
CH
“My reason for posting here is because I couldn’t believe the hypocrisy of some of the women who objected to the opinion piece by Mr Noer. Men have had to endure much worse from the media over the last 40 years yet most have just accepted it and moved on in silence.” I agree with you 100%. I clicked on the article because the headline caught my attention and I thought in general it was entertaining. Can’t say I agree with everything said but it was backed up by plenty of statistics. I admit I don’t have the highest opinion of my own gender in general because of the way marriage has been compared to slavery, the Taliban, etc… Then again, I think my estimation of men has dropped since reading many of these comments. It’s just a shame people have become so PC they can’t even deal with the truth.

08-29-2006 05:49 PM

Re: Question for the men
fishnamedjames
Regular Contributor
fishnamedjames
Jet_Jag: I don’t mind if men or women have sex before marriage, as far as I’m concerned that’s their business.

However, if a man engages in premarital sex (barring being raped, of course), that’s his choice, not feminism’s fault. If a guy wants to thank feminism for the opportunities, fine, there’s probably something to that. But if he wants to blame it for his own choices that’s pretty silly.

08-29-2006 05:51 PM

Re: Question for the men
crella
Regular Contributor
crella
‘he or she is just asking about men with a lot of experience demanding a chaste bride. ‘

I’ve reading this for days, I have not seen a man demand a chaste bride…they do ask that they’re faithful after marriage though.

08-29-2006 05:53 PM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Question for the men

Re: Question for the men
12Roses
Visitor
12Roses

Since we’re talking about female chastity, guys, clue me in: what is the maximum number of partners a woman can have and still be considered potential wife material? I’ve had guy friends tell me the answer is zero.

08-29-2006 05:55 PM

Re: Question for the men
juliandroms
Regular Contributor
juliandroms

CH said:

I support most of what the men have to say but I do find one flaw in their arguments. For all of you who want the traditional stay at home girl, do you really think that she’s going to want to marry someone that killed off the days before he met her by sleeping around with every beautiful woman he could get his hands on? Maybe you’ve all become to cynical to care or consider that angle. Just curious about your thoughts on that.

My suggestion:

Do what young “liberated” young women do, when it comes to dealing with men who might “unjustly” hold their past sexual experiences against them as an indicator of poor character.

Lie!  What sexual partners?

Under-exaggerate!  Divide your number of past sexual partners in half.

Re-define!  It was only oral sex, so it doesn’t count!

Just try to convince yourself that it is a “white lie” (normally the domain of females) designed to “prop her fragile female ego.”

Does anyone really believe a woman when she says she’s only had two sexual partners anyway?

Doesn’t apply to me, but oh well, just a suggestion.

Message Edited by juliandroms on 08-29-2006 06:07 PM

Message Edited by juliandroms on 08-29-2006 06:08 PM

08-29-2006 05:57 PM

Re: Question for the men
CH
Contributor
CH
“But now, I’m catching flak for sleeping with them.” I’m not sure how you perceived this as a personal attack, unless you’re bitter beyond repair. It was just a question of curiosity. I’ve actually read a lot of your arguments and agreed with them along the way. What I won’t go along with is being lumped in with all of the other women you have such a low opinion of. Be as bitter as you want but not all women are to blame.

08-29-2006 06:01 PM

Re: Question for the men
shovel
Regular Contributor
shovel
They were interested in living only for themselves.

A lot of men do the same. What’s your point?

08-29-2006 06:05 PM

Re: Question for the men
paully
Contributor
paully

CH:
I believe the flaw in your question is the assumption that men who want a traditional wife includes virginity and that men that require this tradition are themselves promiscuous.  I think it’s pretty clear after the sexual revolution that finding virgin wives and husbands now is next to nil.

08-29-2006 06:05 PM

Re: Question for the men
fishnamedjames
Regular Contributor
fishnamedjames
Hedgie: There’s nothing wrong with having sex with multiple people outside of marriage as far as I’m concerned. I can’t say I’d do it, but I don’t have a problem with people who do.

Now, being honest about it is another matter entirely. I think people should be honest about their sexual history, both as a matter of respect and committment, and also for the safety of their partner. I’m not trying to give you flak, but that is what I believe.

08-29-2006 06:13 PM

Re: Question for the men
bowenj10
Contributor
bowenj10

*Disclaimer*

The following statements represent my own personal beliefs and should in no way be taken as a statement for all of mankind.

Roses, I don’t care how many partners you’ve had.  If I can’t tell that you were a whore in a former life (i.e. disease/children free; the meaning of “tight” is not lost on you), then I don’t care.  I have my life, you have your life.  I personally stay away from virgins.  You don’t really know what you will get with a virgin.  With a woman with some experience, you will at least have some idea of what to expect (provided that she tell the truth about her past, which as we all know is based on only one perspective – hers).  The downside to this, is that women have different views on sex.  Did you know that there are actually women who don’t consider fallatio as a form of sex?  There are actually women who will tell you that they have been with one or two guys, all while they’ve been out there opening their mouths to every guy who comes their way.  It’s a scary thought.

08-29-2006 06:16 PM

Re: Question for the men
CH
Contributor
CH
Actually Paully, maybe I was unclear but I wasn’t refering to women who are virgins, nor do I assume that all men sleep around. I was just basing it on women who aren’t into one night stands and who are looking for long term stay at home marriages. In general, I just wanted to hear some opinions on why men who want to sleep around think that a relatively traditional woman would want to put up with that type of past. Considering how many men on this site are bragging about their exploits, I thought I would get some reasonable answers. No harm meant although plenty seems to have been taken..

08-29-2006 06:17 PM

Re: Question for the men
CH
Contributor
CH
Umh, if by “Roses”, you’re refering to me, there’s no need to be condescending (assuming that’s your intent). I’m actually one of the few women out there who agreed with the article. Take your bitterness out on your stated enemy: the career woman, not the one who embraces the idea of being the stay at home mom and wife.

08-29-2006 06:21 PM

Re: Question for the men
fishnamedjames
Regular Contributor
fishnamedjames
I think that they are responding to 12Roses, one of the posters in this thread, CH.

08-29-2006 06:24 PM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Question for the men

Re: Question for the men
paully
Contributor
paully

CH:
I took no offense to the question, I didn’t realize you were posing the question to those guys.  Your pointing out their double standards, gotcha.

08-29-2006 06:25 PM

Re: Question for the men
CH
Contributor
CH
Thanks, I just noticed that. Definitely time to shut this computer down for the day!

08-29-2006 06:26 PM

Re: Question for the men
Hedgie
Regular Contributor
Hedgie

CH wrote:

“In general, I just wanted to hear some opinions on why men who want to sleep around think that a relatively traditional woman would want to put up with that type of past.”

It’s an absurd scenario. No man in his right mind would go over his past sexual exploits in detail with his bride. It’s not going to happen.

Unless of course you’re one of those silly, naive girls who actually believes that men and women in love should share “everything” with each other and hold nothing back.

In which case, it’s time to snap out of that fairy tale.

08-29-2006 06:36 PM

Re: Question for the men
toadman
Regular Contributor
toadman

“”In general, I just wanted to hear some opinions on why men who want to sleep around think that a relatively traditional woman would want to put up with that type of past.”  Find or ask one here.

08-29-2006 06:38 PM

Re: Question for the men
earthlaughs
Contributor
earthlaughs

toadman wrote:You need only look at the results of women’s liberation and introduction of the Pill to see that the ultimate backfire and mess it’s caused.

You might be interested in the history of the Pill as recounted here:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/pill/peopleevents/e_options.html

and here:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/pill/timeline/index.html

The quest for a better form of birth control than that offered in the Bible was undertaken by many men as well as women, including Aristotle, Casanova (in order to prevent his many conquests from resulting in children he’d be held responsible for, no doubt), and others. This is nothing new with the feminist movement of the ’60s, but by then technology had advanced far enough that the Pill became possible.

08-29-2006 07:56 PM

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