Divorce means a man is going to loose his children


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Divorce means a man is going to loose his children

Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
Cassius
Regular Contributor
Cassius
In the event of a divorce the wife will get to keep the children, that means the man is going to loose them and if she decides to move away, maybe for another man, the father will not see his children period.
Some women tried to convince us of the advantages of a career woman. Noer said career women are very likely to initiate divorce. As long as divorce is widely accepted as an instrument to punish men we will try to minimize the risk of it and the loss of our children. How could any woman blame us for that ? After all a marriage is not easy and requiers hard work and when the hard part and the work start too many women opt out of it via divorce. Women divorce men not the other way around true in 2/3 of all cases and Iam sure in 4/5 cases if we include wealthy coupels only.
Gals stop the divorce parties and we might pick up marrying again. Untill nothing changes and women openly shame and ridicule groups like the fathers rights movements, please excuse us if we do not put our heads on the chopping block.
And please do not tell us its all our fault.

Message Edited by Cassius on 09-01-2006 07:45 AM

Message Edited by Cassius on 09-01-2006 07:50 AM

09-01-2006 07:40 AM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
ftesyektsi
Regular Contributor
ftesyektsi

Cassius wrote:
In the event of a divorce the wife will get to keep the children, that means the man is going to loose them and if she decides to move away, maybe for another man, the father will not see his children period.
Some women tried to convince us of the advantages of a career woman. Noer said career women are very likely to initiate divorce. No he didn’t.  He said that career women are more likely to initiate divorce as compared to non-working women, and the reason is far more logical than you want it to be:  Career women CAN leave if they’re unhappy because they can afford to, while homemakers are a little more trapped by their lack of personal finances.  If you read his interview more closely, you’ll note that he wrote dual career marriages are actually fulfilling to happily married couples.  It’s the UNHAPPILY married couples who are more likely to divorce if the woman is working.  It’s simply a matter of having the means with which to extricate oneself from a bad situation. As long as divorce is widely accepted as an instrument to punish men What an odd take on divorce.  we will try to minimize the risk of it and the loss of our children. How could any woman blame us for that ? After all a marriage is not easy and requiers hard work Like running to a prostitute when the wife stops putting out? and when the hard part and the work start too many women opt out of it via divorce. Have you ever even been married?  I suspect you are talking out of your azz. Women divorce men not the other way around true in 2/3 of all cases and Iam sure in 4/5 cases if we include wealthy coupels only.Cite your source, please.
Gals stop the divorce parties and we might pick up marrying again. I don’t think we’re particularly threatened by your lack of desire to marry.  Our motivation is not fueled by whether or not you marry us.  Didn’t you read Noer at all?  We’re motivated by what makes us happy, and apparently what makes us happy is fulfilling personal goals…men come second. Untill nothing changes and women openly shame and ridicule groups like the fathers rights movements, Who’s ridiculing it?  Do you have a link or something so that I can see it? please excuse us if we do not put our heads on the chopping block.
And please do not tell us its all our fault. No one is.  But you’re telling women it’s all THEIR fault.

Message Edited by Cassius on 09-01-2006 07:45 AM

Message Edited by Cassius on 09-01-2006 07:50 AM

09-01-2006 09:23 AM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

Statistically, empricically and factually cassius is correct.  It is, by and large, the norm.

09-01-2006 09:55 AM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
Cassius
Regular Contributor
Cassius
Look ftwhatever Non working women are pretty likely to divorce, if career women are even more likely to divorce than non working women then they are very likely to divorce.Over 2/3 of ALL divorces are initiated by women this quota might very well be higher if we look only at career women.
Only because i post here does not mean Noer is a god to me.
Non working women can leave the marriage as well because of child support and alimony so that is not a valid reason.
There is all this talk how men should grow up take responsibilities work out problems in a marriage. But then you have women divorcing still and you are right to say that more women divorce because they can.
But if a woman gets bored and decides she does not want hubby around anymore its the man to pay. Even worse a lot do not love their husband in the first place and are looking forward to the day they can file for divorce from day one. Untill women keep stepping on us for our decision to commit it is not a smart thing to do so and there is no need really since women wont starv to death without an hubby.
When there will be a good chance to get a wife that will be willing to commit in the long run and by working out problems really means working them out and not the man putting up, then marriage would be a hell of a lot more attractive.

09-01-2006 10:04 AM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
Cassius
Regular Contributor
Cassius

moneyneversleep wrote:
Statistically, empricically and factually cassius is correct.  It is, by and large, the norm.

Thank you but what good is it to be correct if it can not be accepted and there is no intent to continue arguing starting from that point ? She does just not want to accept that iam correct she rather picks through my posts hauling herself at every spelling error she can find like a screaming banshee. Arguing is about winning and loosing to her. I pity her husband.

09-01-2006 10:08 AM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
ftesyektsi
Regular Contributor
ftesyektsi

You two are clearly happy in your little world of “women suck and want all your money” and are unwilling to actually discuss anything in a rational way.

The people not worth talking to are piling up.  See ya.

09-01-2006 10:09 AM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
ftesyektsi
Regular Contributor
ftesyektsi

Cassius wrote:

moneyneversleep wrote:
Statistically, empricically and factually cassius is correct.  It is, by and large, the norm.

Thank you but what good is it to be correct if it can not be accepted and there is no intent to continue arguing starting from that point ? She does just not want to accept that iam correct she rather picks through my posts hauling herself at every spelling error she can find really?  can you show me where I did that?  Wow – talk about projection.  Wipe your tears, little boy – I’m leaving you so you can circle-jerk with the others. like a screaming banshee. Arguing is about winning and loosing to her. I pity her husband.

09-01-2006 10:11 AM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

Please go away since I avoid borderline personality, manic depressive women.  They are by far the worst.   I love women, but would never marry without a prenuptial.  I embrace equality.  I embrace accountability.  It’s for everyone, not just men.  Try it, live it, rather than just carping about it.

09-01-2006 10:12 AM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
Cassius
Regular Contributor
Cassius

ftesyektsi wrote:
You two are clearly happy in your little world of “women suck and want all your money” and are unwilling to actually discuss anything in a rational way.

The people not worth talking to are piling up.  See ya.

More garbage posts instead of trying to discuss. Now I gave you statistics on how women are more likely than men to file for divorce and how career women must be even more likely to do so unless we call Noer a liar and you result to shaming and asking for proove for something you can google. How about your thoughts on the divorce laws ? How about your thoughts on the high divorce rate and the willingness of women to divorce ? Are men really that terribel that they are at fault for the millions of divorces ? Why that clinging on marriage if so many women want to divorce afterwards and see so many coupels seperate ? Avoiding marriage does not mean avoiding women why do you have such a disgust for men who decide not to marry ?

Message Edited by Cassius on 09-01-2006 10:28 AM

09-01-2006 10:19 AM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
Pete
Regular Contributor
Pete

Thank you but what good is it to be correct if it can not be accepted and there is no intent to continue arguing starting from that point ? She does just not want to accept that iam correct she rather picks through my posts hauling herself at every spelling error she can find like a screaming banshee. Arguing is about winning and loosing to her. I pity her husband.

It is a mistake to believe women will accept what men say thru argument, facts, and reason. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have responded overwhelmingly with such full-blown hysteria and spite. Women are not men, and they have very different natures from us. Their very nature is to be emotional, self-centered, and short-sighted, concerned only with the here and now. They are not out for the greater good. They are out for themselves, and will do anything and everything to achieve that goal, at the expense of almost everything else. They are that stupid. That is why men must treat women not as the reasoning, logical creatures they cannot be, but rather men must treat women like dogs, i.e., you reward good behavior, and punish bad behavior. This is the proper way men must treat women, and the most effective and efficient way of building consensus between the two sexes.

Message Edited by Pete on 09-01-2006 11:18 AM

09-01-2006 10:51 AM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Divorce means a man is going to loose his children

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
Cassius
Regular Contributor
Cassius
Not all women are like this, but too many.

09-01-2006 11:15 AM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
HSC
Contributor
HSC

My ex and I have 50/50 split time with our child. I noted in another post that I get nothing from him financially. We share child support due to the 50/50 split of time, beyond I have a new life and we are both much happier. The funds that are set as child support are used for a college fund for our child. Additionally, we went through divorce mediation vs. using attorneys. It forces you to look at everything together and make choices together to dissolve the marriage as fairly as possible under the laws. I agree the system is not always fair to men.

It is disappointing to see so many men so angry at women. Be angry at the system not the women.

09-01-2006 11:40 AM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
juliandroms
Regular Contributor
juliandroms
> It is disappointing to see so many men so
> angry at women. Be angry at the system not
> the women.

We definitely have some allies who are women (such as yourself), but by and large it’s the exception rather than the norm. The vast majority of women could frankly give a **bleep** about such matters, and somewhere in between the populace of those who are good about it (you) and those who don’t care (the majority), are the population of women who actively work to maintain the current system (e.g. feminists and the National Organization of Women). Unfortunately, the number of women who actively support the system far outstrips the number of women who are good about it such as yourself.

That seems to be the reality of it.

09-01-2006 12:54 PM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
Cassius
Regular Contributor
Cassius
We ARE angry at the system if some posters keep beeing in denial or even try to defend us it angers us. HSC you gettin nothing is the because you said so or is it the outcome of the courts ruling ?

09-01-2006 12:58 PM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
HSC
Contributor
HSC

cassius-

Nope I didn’t want anything, just what was for college savings for our child.

We split what we shared including time with our child. Literally looking at cars, houses, vacation homes as who uses it more. Some items were sold and we split the proceeds, other things went to the individual who wanted to take responsibility for it. Complicated in some cases where one had to buy the other out or change names on deeds.

But a simple example is this- his 401k is his. I don’t want it, I have my own. Under the legal guidelines we both are allowed half of each. But you can say no thank you. I work and have my own savings so why dig my claws into his retirement that he worked for. Wow rational thinking on my part.

You can make the divorce easy or hard on both parties and again, I agree the man gets bitten in most cases. But you can talk through every detail and put it in writing.  The Judge may look at you cross eyed (as they did me) and say are you ok with this? My financial statement noted I was more than fine with it so ‘nough said.

The simpler solution- don’t get divorced if you do get married. And prior to that know who you are marrying and set expectations together for the marriage. I am re-married and we are on the same page thank goodness!

09-01-2006 01:25 PM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
Cassius
Regular Contributor
Cassius
Glad to see there are woman who think like you. Unfortunatly the system allows women to exploit men in the event of divorce ofen in the name of the children. But more often than not the father finds out that when the kids really need the money when they get into their 20s wifey spent all of the alimony and child support instead of safing it. As long as the institution is the way it is marriage is just not appealing to reason guided cautious males and more something for gamblers.
Even if you marry you have to treat your wife as an enemy, buying 2 houses to make sure you have something to fall back on hiding money to make sure you can educate your children if she divorces early. Marriage reduces her from a partner to a breeding machine. That needs to be changed.

09-01-2006 01:32 PM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
HSC
Contributor
HSC

so much for lust, love and hope springs eternal.

get on with life and just friggin enjoy it.

09-01-2006 01:36 PM

Not necessarily…
anonymom
Contributor
anonymom

My brother has primary custody of all his 3 children by 3 different wives.  All the women I know have joint custody.  And as I posted before, all those women got divorced because their husband left her for a younger and cuter model after the kids were born.  SOME men lose their children, certainly, but not all.

09-01-2006 01:39 PM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
minx12
Regular Contributor
minx12

I am in agreement. The system needs to change. No man should have feel like he is being held hostage by the very being he had joined his life with.

My parents divorced when I was 10. My mom, was the one who moved out and got her own place and paid child support. She did not ask for anything, she had her own income. But since my dad made more money and could better provide for the children, we stayed with him. There was no bickering, no trying to bleed each other dry. My dad got $75 dollars a month in child support for the two of us because its what the judge ruled, not because my dad needed or wanted it, he just handed it back to mom in the form of a personal check every month when he got it from her. They are good friends to this day. So stupid the system we have today.  Turns everyone into enemies.

09-01-2006 01:41 PM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
Cassius
Regular Contributor
Cassius

HSC wrote:

so much for lust, love and hope springs eternal.

get on with life and just friggin enjoy it.

Thats the problem most of the men on here can not just go on with life and enjoy their casual sex and their sports cars. I bet most here do want to marry. Divorce makes it just an high risk gambel that can ruin them their childrens future and the relationship to their children.
Iamgine somebody has to divorce a women who is not like you that takes what she can while the offspring is still young. He cant built up a relationship to his children and he has no money to start over.

09-01-2006 01:45 PM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Divorce means a man is going to loose his children

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
HSC
Contributor
HSC

It is your choice to enjoy life that way who can say otherwise. I personally think it is sad and seems lonely. I love sex (although not casual) and my car too.

Prenuptial agreements are very good tools.

Not to get off point- but I do think both parties need to understand each other better. Most of the books on relationships are useless. Dr. Phil and Oprah OMG who named them king and queen of relationship matters? hmm? I personally feel they have poisoned mind after mind watching them on Day time TV!

09-01-2006 02:03 PM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
PatriarchVerlch
Regular Contributor
PatriarchVerlch

The old days were perfect. The children went to the Father, as he was more likely to re marry and the children could have a new mother.

The divorce rate was 10%. With the advent of self centered woman firsters, and laws sympethic to their self centered nature, well you can see the problem

Destroy the family, he rightly assumed, and Western nations will crumble.

http://www.christianorder.com/editorials/editorials_2006/editorials_feb06.html

Destruction of the family wasn’t going to happen through men. So they used women to do it. It’s a shame for the children.

Women have been proving for the last 30 years that men have been right for the last 30 centuries!
http://www.verlch.blogspot.com

09-01-2006 02:23 PM

Re: Not necessarily…
PatriarchVerlch
Regular Contributor
PatriarchVerlch

My brother has primary custody of all his 3 children by 3 different wives.  All the women I know have joint custody.  And as I posted before, all those women got divorced because their husband left her for a younger and cuter model after the kids were born.  SOME men lose their children, certainly, but not all.

That is why women file for divorce 75% of the time. It’s because in all marriages men leave for younger hotter women. Did you know that is a feminist lesbian recruitment tool to create more opportunities for them sexually, if you can call it sex. More like rubbing and touching. Men leaving for younger hotter women. Gold digging women leave for $$$ and younger and hotter men. So what is your point? There lady?

Women have been proving for the last 30 years that men have been right for the last 30 centuries!
http://www.verlch.blogspot.com

09-01-2006 02:27 PM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
MartianBachelor
Regular Contributor
MartianBachelor

HSC wrote: …Dr. Phil and Oprah OMG who named them king and queen of relationship matters?

All their millions of female viewers, and the advertisers trying to get the money their husbands (or ex’s) give them to spend.

I knew men were ultimately to blame…

______________________________________________
“The loudest, most strident voices calling women weak, stupid, and incapable of competing in the world at large are the feminists.” – zed the zen priest

09-01-2006 02:59 PM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
HSC
Contributor
HSC

interesting isn’t it ?

09-01-2006 03:07 PM

Re: Not necessarily…
juliandroms
Regular Contributor
juliandroms
Anonymom said:
“My brother has primary custody of all his 3 children by 3 different wives. All the women I know have joint custody. And as I posted before, all those women got divorced because their husband left her for a younger and cuter model after the kids were born. SOME men lose their children, certainly, but not all.”

Primary physical custody and joint custody are the same thing. Usually, it mwans once every other weekend visitation for the non-custodial parent. Uncommon for your brother to have gotten custody, though it is certainly easier if the mother is addicted to drugs or committed to a mental institution.

09-01-2006 07:03 PM

Re: Not necessarily…
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

Listen, Sh*t for brains, 90% of all custody issues are awarded to mothers.  Using your moron brother (who, by the way, is white trash enough to pump out 3 babies with 3 different women. I am sure the ladies were real catches, along with him, of course!) as an example when it is likely that the women he selected had fewer than 32 teeth between then and were probably in and out of rehab is not the best.  Wise up, idiot.

09-01-2006 07:58 PM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
Pete
Regular Contributor
Pete

HSC wrote:

My ex and I have 50/50 split time with our child. I noted in another post that I get nothing from him financially. We share child support due to the 50/50 split of time, beyond I have a new life and we are both much happier. The funds that are set as child support are used for a college fund for our child. Additionally, we went through divorce mediation vs. using attorneys. It forces you to look at everything together and make choices together to dissolve the marriage as fairly as possible under the laws. I agree the system is not always fair to men.

It is disappointing to see so many men so angry at women. Be angry at the system not the women.

There’s only one thing wrong with your “ideal” (if there can be such a thing) divorce story: the fact that you got divorced at all makes you damaged goods.

In your attempt to show off what a marvellous, enlightened ex-wife you are, you were totally blind to that one reality.

Your story is worthless. The only thing one gets from it is that you seem far more impressed with yourself than is warranted or deserved.

09-02-2006 12:19 PM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
MartianBachelor
Regular Contributor
MartianBachelor

Pete wrote: …the fact that you got divorced at all makes you damaged goods.

The new double standard applied by some women is that a woman benefits (“grows” by going through the complete cycle which ends in divorce and her being single. And a man who hasn’t married by a certain age is the one who is the damaged goods.

This was beautifully illustrated in the Fall of 2005 when Kirstie Alley showed up on Oprah. In case you don’t know, K.A. had her first big role in the 2nd Star Trek movie (“The Wrath of Kahn” in 1982 and then achieved stardom later in the 80’s as the brassy, bitchy, ball-busting, sassy-jabbering, career-woman/manager of the Cheers bar in the hit TV show of that name, which was famous because of the many pathologies of all its male characters. Fifteen years later, and having practically doubled in weight, she became the butt of comedian’s jokes and even tried to parlay that into something in the flop show “Fat Actress”.

After having lost 50-75 pounds she showed up on Oprah and got talking about, among other things, her non-existent love-life for the previous several years. At 50+ years of age and still very heavy, and having a grating, in-your-face personality (not to mention a home decorated in the excessive style of a female Liberace), Kirstie has a very low mate value in spite of her notoriety and the presumed wealth which goes along with it.

But she’s looking for her true soulmate anyway.

When asked about his putative characteristics, she elaborated on some vague fantasy about him being a widower. I suppose there’s some touching romantic tragedy in having lost the love of ones life and being on the quest to (not quite) replace it. After that, the man could perhaps be merely divorced, like Kirstie herself. When asked by Oprah about a hypothetical man who had never been married, she put on a look of disgust and said he was totally unacceptable because he was a “perv”. That’s an exact quote. This got a huge round of applause from Oprah’s female audience. Needless to say, this applied only to men, as she was sitting right next to someone (Oprah) who is roughly the same age as her and has never been married. But Oprah didn’t call her on this outrageous statement.

I’d say you’ve got a problem when some woman has to die or go through a divorce for a man to be acceptable to you. (And then she’d probably say “but he can’t have too much baggage”…) And you’ve got a bigger problem when probably the most eligible men are viewed as being sick, and therefore ineligible, by the very fact of their eligibility. Only women could have thought up something as twisted and self-defeating as this. The only thing weirder was to see that audience of women applauding it.

______________________________________________
“The loudest, most strident voices calling women weak, stupid, and incapable of competing in the world at large are the feminists.” – zed the zen priest

09-02-2006 12:57 PM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
ftesyektsi
Regular Contributor
ftesyektsi

Pete wrote:

HSC wrote:

My ex and I have 50/50 split time with our child. I noted in another post that I get nothing from him financially. We share child support due to the 50/50 split of time, beyond I have a new life and we are both much happier. The funds that are set as child support are used for a college fund for our child. Additionally, we went through divorce mediation vs. using attorneys. It forces you to look at everything together and make choices together to dissolve the marriage as fairly as possible under the laws. I agree the system is not always fair to men.

It is disappointing to see so many men so angry at women. Be angry at the system not the women.

There’s only one thing wrong with your “ideal” (if there can be such a thing) divorce story: the fact that you got divorced at all makes you damaged goods.  “Damaged goods”?  My goodness.  Does that make divorcees available at a ten percent discount?  (What kind of a person speaks of other people as “goods”?)

In your attempt to show off what a marvellous, enlightened ex-wife you are, you were totally blind to that one reality. Reality is subjective.

Your story is worthless. The only thing one gets from it is that you seem far more impressed with yourself than is warranted or deserved.  Yes, it would probably have been much more impressive were she and her husband to have spent the rest of their lives trapped together unhappily so they wouldn’t be viewed by someone like you as being “damaged goods.”   They would have ended up much more damaged had they stayed together, and clearly, they’re happier now.  What gives you the moral authority to judge them?

09-02-2006 10:42 PM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Divorce means a man is going to loose his children

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
Pete
Regular Contributor
Pete

Pete wrote:

There’s only one thing wrong with your “ideal” (if there can be such a thing) divorce story: the fact that you got divorced at all makes you damaged goods.

ftesyektsi wrote:

“Damaged goods”? My goodness. Does that make divorcees available at a ten percent discount? (What kind of a person speaks of other people as “goods”?)

The kind of person who knows right away a woman like this is damaged goods.

Pete wrote:

In your attempt to show off what a marvellous, enlightened ex-wife you are, you were totally blind to that one reality.

ftesyektsi wrote:

Reality is subjective.

The reality is that she is a career woman who failed at marriage. And thus, the points argued in the original Forbes article stand.

Pete wrote:

Your story is worthless. The only thing one gets from it is that you seem far more impressed with yourself than is warranted or deserved.

ftesyektsi wrote:

Yes, it would probably have been much more impressive were she and her husband to have spent the rest of their lives trapped together unhappily so they wouldn’t be viewed by someone like you as being “damaged goods.” They would have ended up much more damaged had they stayed together, and clearly, they’re happier now. What gives you the moral authority to judge them?

When people choose not to judge, they let things slide – like bad female behavior, for example – thus ultimately acting against their own self-interest.

Her story only strengthens the case against marrying career women. I do not care about the details of her marriage. I only look at the result. And the result, at a miminum, does not contradict what the original Forbes article talked about.

09-03-2006 03:21 AM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
HSC
Contributor
HSC

I was asked to explain how the divorce was not a huge burden on my ex. so I explained. My marriage did not break up because of my career. It takes two people to create the marriage and two to break it up. NOT one. I am glad to not be a burden on him or myself for that matter.

And yes who are you to judge what was best for my marriage and my divorce proceedings?

09-05-2006 04:13 PM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
Pete
Regular Contributor
Pete

HSC wrote:

I was asked to explain how the divorce was not a huge burden on my ex. so I explained. My marriage did not break up because of my career. It takes two people to create the marriage and two to break it up. NOT one. I am glad to not be a burden on him or myself for that matter.

No matter how sweet sounding you try to make your divorce story, it is still a divorce. A family was broken up, and you played a major role in that, regardless of the details.

You say, “my marriage did not break up because of my career”? Maybe, maybe not. But it makes no difference, as it does not contradict the relevant facts: namely, that you are an American career woman who failed at marriage. The points argued in the original Forbes article therefore stand.

And yes who are you to judge what was best for my marriage and my divorce proceedings?

Tough sh*t. Expect to be judged. Especially when you relate a personal story that pertains to the question of marrying career women. Don’t attack others for calling the truth as they see it, just because the truth of the judgment is particularly harsh on your ego.

09-05-2006 10:18 PM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
HSC
Contributor
HSC

My so called failed marriage does not in any way point to the the truth of this article. The devil is in the details – which you don’t care to know nor do I care to share. My ego is fine and in check thanks. YOU need to look at your perspective and realize that the matter of divorce (per the article) is not only about the wife working or not. Yes, I admit some do end due to the wanting for more career goals to be met on her side. But it could also break up for the same reasons on his side. Work life balance- the marriage has to have it.

Why Marriages Fail – from http://www.aaml.org

Not all marriages fail for the same reason. Nor is there usually one reason for the breakdown of a particular marriage. Nevertheless, we hear some reasons more often than others.

They are:

Poor communication
Financial problems
A lack of commitment to the marriage
A dramatic change in priorities
Infidelity

There are other causes we see a lot, but not quite as often as those listed above .They are:

Failed expectations or unmet needs
Addictions and substance abuse
Physical, sexual or emotional abuse
Lack of conflict resolution skills

All of the noted above could be directed at both husband and/or wife. To say that there is less chance of a communication break down because she stays home and bakes cookies is asinine. OR what if he loses his job the stress creates the break up. They both will be up “the” creek with no paddle.

09-08-2006 09:33 AM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
Pete
Regular Contributor
Pete

HSC wrote:
My so called failed marriage does not in any way point to the the truth of this article.

Of course it does. The outcome of your marriage says it all. It is all we really need to know.

The devil is in the details – which you don’t care to know nor do I care to share.

Which is fine with me, as such details are neither necessary nor relevant anyway, and only serve to waste time.

My ego is fine and in check thanks.

Good. Then your ego can easily withstand the fact that you had a failed marriage – which means you don’t have to resort to using terms like “so-called” to give the false impression that you didn’t have one.

YOU need to look at your perspective and realize that the matter of divorce (per the article) is not only about the wife working or not. Yes, I admit some do end due to the wanting for more career goals to be met on her side. But it could also break up for the same reasons on his side. Work life balance- the marriage has to have it.

Why Marriages Fail – from http://www.aaml.org

Not all marriages fail for the same reason. Nor is there usually one reason for the breakdown of a particular marriage. Nevertheless, we hear some reasons more often than others.

They are:

Poor communication
Financial problems
A lack of commitment to the marriage
A dramatic change in priorities
Infidelity

There are other causes we see a lot, but not quite as often as those listed above .They are:

Failed expectations or unmet needs
Addictions and substance abuse
Physical, sexual or emotional abuse
Lack of conflict resolution skills

All of the noted above could be directed at both husband and/or wife. To say that there is less chance of a communication break down because she stays home and bakes cookies is asinine. OR what if he loses his job the stress creates the break up. They both will be up “the” creek with no paddle.

And since we’re both not concerned with the details of your marriage, all this is a distraction.

The basic fact remains: you are an American career woman who failed at marriage. Nothing you say can ever change that fact.

And therefore, you don’t have a shred of credibility when you engage in a debate with men who choose not to marry American career women (like you) or otherwise shun them.

Message Edited by Pete on 09-09-2006 06:37 AM

09-09-2006 12:52 AM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
HSC
Contributor
HSC

I am not debating. I have been pointing out that in some cases- some women don’t take the kids, the house, and the dog, ect. when they get divorced. I happen to be one of those.

This was a deeper look at the topic if you note the Thread Name-
“Divorce means a man is going to loose his children.”

You just want a fight.

09-11-2006 01:15 PM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
HSC
Contributor
HSC

oh yeah-Three cheers for me!
Yippie for me my ex and I get along better now than ever.

09-11-2006 01:18 PM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
Pete
Regular Contributor
Pete

HSC wrote:
I am not debating. I have been pointing out that in some cases – some women don’t take the kids, the house, and the dog, ect. when they get divorced. I happen to be one of those.

This was a deeper look at the topic if you note the Thread Name-

“Divorce means a man is going to loose his children.”

You just want a fight.

You seem to have some sort of reading or comprehension problem (perhaps having to do with your being a woman), since I have already explained this before very clearly.

None of what you just said above matters, because your very divorce itself gives wholehearted support to the main argument of the original Forbes article – namely, that men should avoid marrying American career women like you in the first place.

And why should men avoid marrying American career women like you? Because of the greater likelihood that marrying such women will end in divorce – which is exactly what happened in your marriage.

So you see, it’s actually quite silly that you consider it a mark of distinction that you didn’t take the kids, house, etc. The issue has always been whether or not women like you are good marriage prospects for men. Nothing else.

HSC wrote:
oh yeah-Three cheers for me!

Yippie for me my ex and I get along better now than ever.

Yes, your meager “consolation prize” will have to do at this point in your life. Of course, it can never, ever come close to substituting for the unbreakable, life-lasting marriage you didn’t have.

Message Edited by Pete on 09-12-2006 07:26 AM

09-11-2006 08:53 PM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
HSC
Contributor
HSC

Perhaps you are the one with comprehension issue – this particular topic, if you notice, IS about Divorce and the possibility that a man could lose his children. Which I understand is totally in the hands of the wife. My point was that if anyone gave a Sh*t about eachother then perhaps it would not happen.  Sorry for using myself as the example. Heaven forbid if someone site their own life as an example.

You seem to be hellbent on “Don’t marry American Women” – well fine don’t. I don’t give a flying F* what you do.

I am remarried and this is a marriage that actually works.

My word you really don’t like women at all do you? Or perhaps you only like the one’s that don’t have a mind to tell you really how they feel….. ?

Where did the men who can have a reasonable discussion go?

09-12-2006 09:13 PM

Re: Divorce means a man is going to loose his children
Pete
Regular Contributor
Pete

HSC wrote:
Perhaps you are the one with comprehension issue – this particular topic, if you notice, IS about Divorce and the possibility that a man could lose his children. Which I understand is totally in the hands of the wife. My point was that if anyone gave a Sh*t about eachother then perhaps it would not happen. Sorry for using myself as the example. Heaven forbid if someone site their own life as an example.

Citing your life as an example ended up supporting and reinforcing the very argument against marrying American career women like you.

As I already said (and keep saying), how you got divorced is of no importance – because divorce by its very nature is an act of failure and ruin.

Which is why one can only laugh derisively at your insistence that you were more generous than the average woman in your divorce terms.

And again, I’m not interested in the details of your marriage, or why you failed. It is only the outcome that is relevant. And unfortunately for you, the outcome of your marriage does not strengthen whatever case you’re trying to make in your favor.

You seem to be hellbent on “Don’t marry American Women” – well fine don’t. I don’t give a flying F* what you do.

I am remarried and this is a marriage that actually works.

Yes, I’m sure you also said that about your first marriage.

My word you really don’t like women at all do you? Or perhaps you only like the one’s that don’t have a mind to tell you really how they feel….. ?

How you “feel” means jack sh*t.

The basic argument from the article remains: it is in men’s interest to reject American career women like you as potential wives.

When you got divorced, you lost – once and for all – whatever credibility you had to dissuade men from that argument. End of story.

Where did the men who can have a reasonable discussion go?

If you had a leg to stand on, you would not feel the need to desperately appeal to other men to help bail you out, as you obviously are doing here.

Now stop lashing out just because you keep getting your a*s kicked over and over again.

Message Edited by Pete on 09-13-2006 04:57 AM

09-12-2006 11:54 PM

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