Get your career, but forget about wrecking our children over it

Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Get your career, but forget about wrecking our children over it

Get your career, but forget about wrecking our children over it
It takes guts to write an article with men’s secret thoughts about womens roles w/o coming under scathing attack from angry femmes about being sexist.

Lets face it folks, the girls barking “sexist” have been indoctrinated by the feminists to believe that not only are men and women equal – but they are interchangeable. For the record, I agree with the equal part, and stop there. Heck, they will even try to tell you saying “girl” or “lady” is a put down, when no insult is intended. To me, a pound of feathers and a pound of lead are equal, but I’ll sleep on the feathers.

Anyway – lets look at the modern “sexual roles” problem. Speaking as a former singles group leader, and as a single guy in DC – I should bracket out the religious community from my observations here. They fall into a different set of articles I’ll do later. For this discussion, we are talking about “The average Joe or Josie.”

I’ll follow with a few observations and “rules” which I will expand upon.

1.) Women who come to DC (from where ever) didn’t come to the Capitol of the free world to do what their mothers did.

Frankly, they came to do what their fathers did – or better. On the whole they are working longer hours, better paid, and much better educated than their dad’s were. My graduating class at Loyola had more women than men in Grad AND undergrad programs, and oddly, far more Masters degrees than BS degrees completed in the graduation cycle I was part of.

I have completely given up on finding a woman who cooks better than I do, and often find myself in discussions with dates about how we might both share child raising part time while maintaining our 40- 50 hour a week careers (in two different cities). Women lose patience with men who want a woman like their mom. I’ve even had a couple say that men feel threatened by smart or successful women.

Ladies, don’t kid yourselves.

2.) As regards marriage, find a woman who WANTS the job.

I remember interviewing an applicant for a software test position while I was a manager at GMR. The guy said to me “I could test till a development job opens up.”

Here was a guy that didn’t want the job.

Over the years, out dating, I have come to a revelation. The women lawyers I dated were trained to fight. Actually, it was the male lawyers who clued me onto this fact. The female nurses and school teachers I dated were where actually trained to nurture or deal with kids. The best of all worlds where the two Au Pairs I dated. These women were EXPERT at cooking, child care, and anything a household needed. Oddly, I came upon one of them (past tense) after a discussion with my girl friend at the time, regarding the cost of her PHD, and the $160,000 school debt that it would rack up. We projected that it would take her till age 40 to pay off (she was 20 something at the time). I added the house bill, the two cars, her loan payment and our combined health/car insurance. It totaled $6000 a month after taxes. This doesn’t count the cable bill, or food mind you. I told her that I (nor most men for that mater) might NEVER make that kind of money – $130K per year minimum. She was therefore consigning herself to never being able to raise her own kids because she’d have to work. She resolved the matter by saying “We’ll hire an Au Pair.”

Well that ended our dating, because I just decided to date the Au Pair. Lets face it, the Au Pair wanted the job of being a mom, rather than MY job of being a provider.

If I walk into an aquatic center with 12 underage boy scouts who can not swim, I need a lifeguard, NOT a lion tamer. Ladies, if you want the benefit of a traditional sacrament like marriage, assume that the guy who will follow through with you in marriage must have “traditional” values and role ideas – to be fair. Those role ideas put daddy at work, and mommy at home, at least till after the kids are in school.

3.) Ladies, it’s not just what you want, but also what HE wants that makes the union work.

Men have little need for marriage when children are not an intended consequence of the union. It does little more than restrict a mans options, and contrary to what women think –

4.) Men do NOT marry just for love. Men marry for children.

The smarter men may say that they say they will marry just for love, because that is a very slick way for a guy to get whatever he wants from and unwary girl – but in fact – they don’t follow through with the actual ceremony. The sole exception are the highly religious folks, who actually know what love is, are unselfish, and not just doing another case of “double income with no kids.”

5.) Ladies, if you want to be with a king – be a queen.

There is no quitting smoking after you meet the perfect man, or losing weight, or whatever. You get – what you are.

So – for a woman who wants marriage – ultimately, what is the battle plan?

Folks, in the last 150 years, mens roles haven’t changed one IOTA. Men still hook up with the prettiest girl who says yes, and have morals about as good as the women in society (who civilize the men) permit. Well in 2006, women seem to be choosing men the way men always used to chose women. Girls have their OWN money now – so they don’t think they need a guy with a great job, and a track record of stability. So – many rationalize pulling a Britney Spears (Or a Madonna, or a Pam Anderson) and hook up with an “eye candy” type guy who has one foot in unemployment and another on parole.

When they can have ANYBODY, they all seem to pick the same thing – again, excluding the religious folks from this generalization.

Here’s the theory, women today can do what their fathers did, but better. But they are still women, so they delay doing what their mothers did till later (35- 40 time frame). But there’s a catch – girls you can have it all, but not all at once. Any mother with 2 or more children will give you the same advice – be DONE having kids by 35 – or better yet by 30. The Gynecologist told my 32 year old sister in law that AT 32, she was in a RISK group. So much for the “Cosmopolitan Magazine” view.

Oh – men don’t expect to have it all, much less at once. Most men are happy just working till they die, and finding a girl who wants to do what her mother did – if it were possible. No man I know has any “dual role” issues.

The moral here is as follows: Time has proven the successfulness of the – Kids first – career second model.

Anything else seems to correlate to an ugly divorce, or just rotten Godless kids. And here’s the scarry part ladies, when it comes to selecting a wife who is also a good mother – men KNOW what the criteria are. Simply – because we all watch Discovery Channel and Animal planet. Everything from mother Bears to mother Alligators have no priority above child rearing. Even the Elephants matriarchal society is all about child raising.

6.) Dispelling Myths – Men feel threatened by smart women.

Please don’t deceive your selves ladies. Based upon the evidence I have seen, from even little guys personally threatening me (I’m real big) – Men aren’t even afraid of other men when common sense and self preservation dictates that they should be. Much less a woman with an MBA. Men just want a woman who wants the job of being a wife and mother – which usually isn’t a woman professionaly trained to fight (argue in court) who also has a rolidex of 30 other work friends who are great divorce lawyers, just in case something DID go wrong with the marriage.

7.) Men marry to gain something they DON’T have already.

In todays Godless society, you no longer have to be married to have sex (again – excluding the religious folks). So the only gain a men has for swearing off every other woman for life – is children. In fact, most married men today will tell you they had more sex BEFORE marriage. The risks of marriage are obvious – an ugly divorce, injury to the kids, and losing half your assets less the lawyers fees.

8.) Woman are more successful in divorce court today than any time in prior history.

They often come to a marriage/divorce with less material assets, and leave the final breakup with alimony, child care, and half of the assets of the union prior to break up. More often than not, minor children are given in custody to the mother. Men have more to lose in divorce, and lose more often – versus never marring.

9.) Putting off Kids till later comes down to one thing – selfishness.

Folks, if life has taught me one thing – it all about the people, NOT the money. I recently read “The 5 people you meet in Heaven.” I can’t help but think that our purpose comes from our interaction with and creation of people, not simply material things.

10.) The chief ingredient of motherhood is selflessness.

Back to animal planet, and the story of the mother bear who died protecting her cubs. Every man who saw that knows now, that the cubs are MORE important than salmon fishing, berry eating, or growling at other bears. Ladies, the biggest problem for the feminists are productions of the discovery channel and it’s associated networks. One animal show can teach even a men precisely what it takes to be a good mom – even if he’s a complete dolt.

11.) Selecting a good man requires setting a minimum bar.

For men, it is the ability to provide stability and support. For women, it is the ability to carry children. So when a man selects a woman “just for her youth or her looks”, he is actually getting something. Namely health. Men are unknowingly attracted to what is healthy, just as a male black widow thinks the horrible female spider (who will eat him) is attractive. For them – it is the appearance of health that affords reproduction.

When a woman used her own money to remove a mans sole obligation to provide stability and support – and selects him based upon looks – she gets a worthless loser, because men do NOT carry the child, and their health (stability obligation removed) doesn’t matter after conception.

Moral here – If you’re a woman who wants marriage, realize the following truism about men:

Men who say they want children must marry to accomplish their goal.

Men who say they want marriage, usually just want sex.

Girls – be smart and select good stable providers, who want children as a priority, then place them first in all things (the kids) and you’ll get marriage, AND a good man 9 times out of 10.

Comments or letters to the editor on this article are welcome.


PS – I you have a dissenting opinion to publish, and are currently divorced, or from a broken family, and or do not attend any church anywhere regularly – could you please inform the readers of those facts at the start of your letter to the editor – rather than to just say “I disagree, and I turned out FINE.”

08-31-2006 04:13 AM

Re: Get your career, but forget about wrecking our children over it


I take it this is a joke, right? I mean, real people couldn’t possibly trot out cliched tripe like “if you want a king, be a queen”, could they?

You keep on being a single man in DC, dude.

08-31-2006 07:38 AM

Re: Get your career, but forget about wrecking our children over it
Regular Contributor
Yea, “women civilize men”?!

The exact opposite is the case. There was never any civilization until men invented it.

Your claim is known as “The Gilder Fallacy”. Here it is debunked:

…There is a striking difference in the behavior of males in civilized and in primitive societies — the difference between motivated, productive, stable males in the former and disruptive or idle or macho or narcissistic drones, or at best hunters and warriors, in the latter. However the most essential difference between the two societies is one less conspicuous but more pivotal: In the civilized society the females accept the regulation of their sexuality on the basis of the Sexual Constitution — monogamous marriage, the Legitimacy Principle [that men have legitimate children which cannot be taken from them], the double standard, and female loyalty and chastity; in the primitive society the females reject sexual regulation and embrace the Promiscuity Principle, a woman’s right to control her own sexuality. The female behavior is more basic, since it determines whether the males can be motivated to accept a stable and productive lifestyle. The key issue is not, as Gilder imagines, whether men can be induced to accept the Sexual Constitution which he imagines women try to impose, but whether women themselves can be induced to accept it. – Daniel Amneus

As you yourself say, “When they [women] can have ANYBODY, they all seem to pick the same thing [Bad Boys].” Groupies go for football players and rock star jerks. Last I looked they weren’t going for the captains of the chess team or Nobel Prize winners. In fact the infamous Nobel Prize sperm bank closed down several years ago due to lack of business, in a time when alternative reproductive technologies are a huge growth business. So I think you need to re-think some of your basic assumptions.

But thanks for some of your other ideas, which you’re right on about. I don’t want to imply I think you’re totally full of it across the board.

Message Edited by MartianBachelor on 08-31-2006 07:02 AM

“The loudest, most strident voices calling women weak, stupid, and incapable of competing in the world at large are the feminists.” – zed the zen priest

08-31-2006 08:39 AM

Re: Get your career, but forget about wrecking our children over it
Regular Contributor
The Angry postings from Women here to this article is doing more to advance the Men’s Movement than anything we have done in the last three years. It is gaining us more recruits to our way of thinking. Thank You Ladies I mean that sincerely. Thanks for the help. The Entitlement Mentality, Chip on the Shoulder, hateful towards Males and desire to censor our opinions illustrates what we have been saying to Men. That American Career Women are a biological and societal dead end. You exude Misandry and spew it forth without even realizing you are doing so.

Men are wising up. Invest in Cat Food companies, they are the future of the US. The Author has articulated what Men are thinking. Last year when I went to retake a Financial Accounting course. To keep current with changes in the Laws and practice. As I walked to the Admin building, there was a display by The Women’s Resource Center promoting the issue of Violence Against Women. Signs were posted in the Restrooms urging Men not to Rape Women!! America is turning into a FemNag Gulag for Men. And we are fed up with it.

08-31-2006 08:42 AM

Re: Get your career, but forget about wrecking our children over it

Hateful? I’m certainly not hateful.  The only one who seems to have anger issues is you, my dear.

08-31-2006 08:48 AM

Re: Get your career, but forget about wrecking our children over it
Regular Contributor

6.) Dispelling Myths – Men feel threatened by smart women.

The way I hear this phrased is “men are intimidated by smart, successful, independent women”.

The question is, exactly how do they know?

I think what’s really happening is the women making this claim experience a decline in the number of men hitting on `em for dates and the like as they get older. So if men aren’t asking them out for the most part, how exactly do they know what they claim is true? It’s just like the Yogi-ism: “if people aren’t comin’ to the ballpark, how you gonna stop `em?”

This happens at the same time they’re rising in their career. Since all this takes time, you never hear this claim from 23 year-olds. Sometime in their mid- or upper-30’s, when the women making this claim can start to feel secure in their career and make the claim about being successful, they notice their sexual power is nowhere near what it was a decade or more earlier. The men in their cohort are also quite likely to be taken already, so there are many times fewer single men than back in their college days when they had a surplus of opportunities. It must be rough.

They then put two and two together and come up with… 17. They confuse lack of interest on the part of males (since there are now new 23 year-olds out there) with them being “intimidated”, a blatant put-down and attempt to egg men on to be “real men” not wimps and ask them out — the same sort of high-pressuring tactics they accuse and criticize men for employing when that suits their agenda.

But it’s really hard being “intimidated” by something which just sits there. Then all this gets repeated in the female echo chamber that the media is and they start believing it themselves. Yes, I know they can always find some compliant and obedient guy who will parrot back what they say, and maybe get a pat on the head for doing so, but that doesn’t count for anything.

If women want men to take them seriously — especially their alleged smarts — they need to stop making such obviously wrong and hurtful allegations.

You don’t hear many men saying women are intimidated by smart, successful, independent men, even though there’s quite a bit more truth in that statement than there is in the one they’re making.

In summary: it’s not that we’re “intimidated”, we’re just not that interested.

“The loudest, most strident voices calling women weak, stupid, and incapable of competing in the world at large are the feminists.” – zed the zen priest

08-31-2006 09:54 AM

Re: Get your career, but forget about wrecking our children over it
Regular Contributor
You call us hatefull but can not come to thermes they we choose to do away with marriage while having sex with different partners. Why can you not just accept our way of life ?

08-31-2006 10:04 AM

Re: Get your career, but forget about wrecking our children over it
Regular Contributor

If you are the only option, a fat fugly chick, then being single is an excellent option.  Quite frankly, I prefer sex without a piece of paper signifying I must pay a heiffer such as you in the event of divorce as I don’t have a morbid fascination for “bbw’s”.

08-31-2006 10:28 AM

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