Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!

Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
TheBM
Contributor
TheBM
I see all of you going on about how you want a housewife and a stay at home woman instead of a career woman. You are all being folish. Stay at home wifes will divorce you anyway. All that talk about them staying in the marraige because they have no money is NOT TRUE.

For you see. YOU PROVIDE THEM THE MONEY AND THEY KNOW THIS. They will give a housewife more of YOUR money and she will be able to clean you out easier if she doesn’t work.

Noer is trying to sucker you! He isn’t looking at for your interest but of the interest of golddigging women who want to marry and stay at home!

If I would have married a career woman she would have had her own money and that **bleep** judge wouldn’t have givin her EVERYTHING.

You morons go on about housewives like they are the **bleep** gospel. Let me tell you a story. Maybe you will learn from my mistakes and NOT MARRY AT ALL. Go ahead and read about the housewife so many of you keep thinking is the holy grail of women!

My ex-wife got my house and my kids and I am locked into a lifetime of alimony. Best part is SHE CHEATED ON ME! Yep, My only fault was respecting her and loving her and making sure she was taken care off.I was everything you always hear so many women go on about they want in a man![It is nonsense btw]

Think it mattered that she did? Nope. She filed for the divorce first while I was still in shock and she got the house! She now has sex in my bed with that same man! She doesn’t even let me see my kids. Instead she calls the police and says I am harassing her and the police actually tell ME to leave them alone! Nobody will do anything to stop her from not letting me see my 2 sons! Yet I still have to pay a bit over 3 grand a month in child support. Another 4 grand a month in spousal support.

She holds my sons hostage so I’ll still pay for the house ultilities and mortgauge or they will be without! Yep, Either my kids no longer have a place to live and electricity or she gets to live for free!

Yet I see all of you raving about stay at home wives! Making a big mistake! Learn from mine!

08-30-2006 07:58 PM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
hero
Contributor
hero

I feel for you, bro.

I guess the only consolation for you is that your pain can discourage other men from getting themselves into the same mess.  I know that I’ve learned a valuable lesson from the experiences of men such as yourself who got an outrageous shafting at the hands of fembots.

08-30-2006 08:02 PM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
3rdworldwm
Regular Contributor
3rdworldwm

I am sorry to hear your story. My heart hurts for you. The system is indeed unfair. I am all for no spouse support if it is her fault that cause the divorce.

It will take time, but you will get stronger eventually. I was cheated too and the pain will heal, just takes time.

Message Edited by 3rdworldwm on 08-30-2006 08:16 PM

08-30-2006 08:10 PM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
PatriarchVerlch
Regular Contributor
PatriarchVerlch

I think the ideal situation is to have 5 career wives and 1 stay at home wife. The man holds the fort down, while the women feed him. Much like the lionesses.

Women have been proving for the last 30 years that men have been right for the last 30 centuries!
http://www.verlch.blogspot.com

08-30-2006 08:15 PM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
Democles
Regular Contributor
Democles

TheBM wrote:
I see all of you going on about how you want a housewife and a stay at home woman instead of a career woman. You are all being folish. Stay at home wifes will divorce you anyway. All that talk about them staying in the marraige because they have no money is NOT TRUE.

For you see. YOU PROVIDE THEM THE MONEY AND THEY KNOW THIS. They will give a housewife more of YOUR money and she will be able to clean you out easier if she doesn’t work.

Noer is trying to sucker you! He isn’t looking at for your interest but of the interest of golddigging women who want to marry and stay at home!

If I would have married a career woman she would have had her own money and that **bleep** judge wouldn’t have givin her EVERYTHING.

You morons go on about housewives like they are the **bleep** gospel. Let me tell you a story. Maybe you will learn from my mistakes and NOT MARRY AT ALL. Go ahead and read about the housewife so many of you keep thinking is the holy grail of women!

My ex-wife got my house and my kids and I am locked into a lifetime of alimony. Best part is SHE CHEATED ON ME! Yep, My only fault was respecting her and loving her and making sure she was taken care off.I was everything you always hear so many women go on about they want in a man![It is nonsense btw]

Think it mattered that she did? Nope. She filed for the divorce first while I was still in shock and she got the house! She now has sex in my bed with that same man! She doesn’t even let me see my kids. Instead she calls the police and says I am harassing her and the police actually tell ME to leave them alone! Nobody will do anything to stop her from not letting me see my 2 sons! Yet I still have to pay a bit over 3 grand a month in child support. Another 4 grand a month in spousal support.

She holds my sons hostage so I’ll still pay for the house ultilities and mortgauge or they will be without! Yep, Either my kids no longer have a place to live and electricity or she gets to live for free!

Yet I see all of you raving about stay at home wives! Making a big mistake! Learn from mine!

Dude who was your lawyer?? You got screwed…..Your fault, not hers.

08-30-2006 09:03 PM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias
“Your fault, not hers.”

*sigh*

08-30-2006 09:10 PM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
Freeyourself
Regular Contributor
Freeyourself
“You morons go on about housewives like they are the **bleep** gospel. Let me tell you a story. Maybe you will learn from my mistakes and NOT MARRY AT ALL. Go ahead and read about the housewife so many of you keep thinking is the holy grail of women!

My ex-wife got my house and my kids and I am locked into a lifetime of alimony. Best part is SHE CHEATED ON ME! Yep, My only fault was respecting her and loving her and making sure she was taken care off.I was everything you always hear so many women go on about they want in a man![It is nonsense btw]”

Sorry to hear about your FUBAR situation but I’ve known since my 20’s marriage is a losing proposition for men. Also don’t cohabitate or have chidlren with American women since both cases could still trap you for future obligations.

IF YOU WANT TO MARRY RUN RUN RUN RUN AS FAR AS YOU CAN AND START A NEW LIFE IN A FOREIGN, MEN FRIENDLY COUNTRY.

08-30-2006 09:15 PM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
fishnamedjames
Regular Contributor
fishnamedjames

zacharias wrote:
“Your fault, not hers.”

*sigh*

I second that sigh. Domocles, why are you blaming him? :/

08-30-2006 09:15 PM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
tomshh
Regular Contributor
tomshh

I am young, single and successful.

Looks like I have 3 choices…

1) Marry a stay at home wife in the USA, get divorced, the get f’ed over like this guy.

2) Marry a career woman in the USA, then work 40 hours a week at work, 40 hours a week at home, and have a constant power struggle, and nothing to look forward to in life.

3) Make my money in the strongest economic country in the world.  Retire young, move over seas, marry a woman that will make me happy, and not clear me out in a divorce.

Hmmmm, cue the Jeopardy theme….

I take option 3 Alex.

08-30-2006 09:21 PM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
ACatInSD
Regular Contributor
ACatInSD

TheBM, I think you are a good man, but unfortunately you got involved with a bad woman.

Your ex-wife is a shame for sure, and evil. I do concern about your two sons.

I was divorced 9 years ago, raising up my daughter all alone. I made much more than my ex for a long time, and when he divorced me, we made about the same. Yet I didn’t ask for child support or alimony from him, because money was not the reason I married him, and it is not the reason we divorced as well. I never hate him or try to ruin his life, because hatred won’t do anything good to either life of ours. With his money, I wouldn’t get rich; without his money, I wouldn’t get poor or broke. Why bother? I have a life to pursue, which is more important.

Now he has been remarried for five years, and he started calling my daughter. One time he wanted to talk to me and apologized that he mistreated me and my daughter, and he regreted what he had done at the time. Well, everything is over now, and my situation is a lot better than his.

Please don’t hate women because of her, I am sure you will have a better life after all these, and your sons will know that you are a good man, a good father, and you were a good husband that a lot of women would like to have.

08-30-2006 09:40 PM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
Cassius
Regular Contributor
Cassius
You see the feminists career women do not want a low income guy eithier. They are also gold diggers looking for the best deal they set their bar just as high as the income they make on their own.

08-30-2006 10:07 PM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
fishnamedjames
Regular Contributor
fishnamedjames
I think what might actually be happening is that a lot of those so-called “career women” actually want to start families and want to be able to stay home and take care of the kids. Doing so means there will be less income, however, so they are more likely to be happy in a situation where they have the flexibility to have children. This is what one of the articles Noer references actually says.

Not to say there aren’t any Gold diggers out there. I’m just suggesting we not generalize too much.

Seriously. A woman who is working full time and making $30K a year isn’t necessarily overly focused on her career to the point where she’s blanking out her family. She’s probably just working for a living and a few happy things on the side, much like her husband.

08-30-2006 10:16 PM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
Cassius
Regular Contributor
Cassius
true but a career woman making 100k will have troubel accepting a mate with say said 30k. And she wont want her husband at home and does not want to be the one to feed the family, she doesnt want to leave her enthralling career eithier. Career women want it all and if they do not get it, deevoooorrce, but you just can not have it all, unless you are a sultan, and thats why a marriage to a careerwoman is a sure failure and alimony and loss of your house and the joy to pay child support to a woman even if she makes more than you. Excuse us for not beeing braindead idiots.

Message Edited by Cassius on 08-30-2006 10:38 PM

08-30-2006 10:36 PM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias

fishnamedjames wrote:
I think what might actually be happening is that a lot of those so-called “career women” actually want to start families and want to be able to stay home and take care of the kids. Doing so means there will be less income, however, so they are more likely to be happy in a situation where they have the flexibility to have children. This is what one of the articles Noer references actually says.

Not to say there aren’t any Gold diggers out there. I’m just suggesting we not generalize too much.

Seriously. A woman who is working full time and making $30K a year isn’t necessarily overly focused on her career to the point where she’s blanking out her family. She’s probably just working for a living and a few happy things on the side, much like her husband.

The problem comes in over the interconnecting issues of –
1) how men have been beaten to death with the whole “women only make 76 cents” thing. It just makes sense that if you take time out of the workforce, you are going to lose career advancement.
2) Affirmative action means that many of those jobs which women now have might have gone to men. It is a particularly bitter pill to swallow for a man who was passed over for a lesser qualified woman to fill a quota, and then have women like her turn up their noses at him because he doesn’t make enough to give her the “choice.”
3) The endless litany of resentment we hear from women about men “not doing enough housework” when there are a lot of subtle control issues at work. Nobody ever died because the dishes were left in the kitchen sink overnight, and from my personal experience it turns out that women want men to do the work, but the woman get to tell him HOW and when to do it. Another personal example with an ex-gf: one time when we ran into each other, she went off on a rant about her husband carrying groceries up from the car when she went shopping. I asked if he refused or what, and she said no, that when she asked him, he would always jump right up and help. What she was angry about was HAVING to ask – she wanted him to run to the door like a puppy when he heard the car in the garage. I saw it as nothing but a stupid control issue – if it was too much trouble for her to open the door and yell “I’m back” to let him know it was time to come down, I felt she had no valid reason to be pissed that he wasn’t sitting around waiting on her non-beck-and-call.

A member of my family is married to the most useless, whiny, complaining excuse for a human being I have ever seen. She had not worked a day of their marriage, doesn’t cook, and never ceases to complain that he doesn’t give her enough help.

Somewhere along the line, appreciation for what a man does do, a sense of reciprocity, and all respect has been lost.

08-30-2006 10:40 PM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
juliandroms
Regular Contributor
juliandroms
Well, I’m not sure Michael Noer was heavily advocating for getting married at all from the tone of the article. I thought he seemed rather agnostic on the idea, frankly.

08-30-2006 11:28 PM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
fishnamedjames
Regular Contributor
fishnamedjames
Zacharias:

I don’t know. I suspect women probably lose out sometimes on the wage gap much in the same way that men lose out on becoming the custodial parent sometimes. The inate prejudices of the general population get in the way. I’ve spoken to many hiring managers who say they will always hire a man over a woman if they have a choice, because the woman might get pregnant and have to go on maternity leave. If you’re a woman who is sterile and/or has no intention of getting pregnant, it’s not really fair that you should have to pay the price for that. But I know it happens pretty often. And I know that I’ve probably had bosses who felt they had more bargaining power over me because I’m a woman. I literally had one boss who was amazed months after hire that I was paying rent, he just assumed my boyfriend must have been paying it all (said boyfriend was actually going to school). Some of it makes sense and some of it doesn’t.

I can’t say I support affirmative action, for exactly the reasons you’ve stated. I usually don’t support it for women because I want people around me to understand that where-ever I end up, I’m getting there on my own merits. Unfortunately subtle discrimination can come into play, but I worry that AA actually might make that worse.

Now, not to sound pooey, but there are studies out there that indicate that women still do most of the housework. Not the case for everyone, but I can see how that would be a problem in situations where both people have careers. And seriously, if she’s doing it all the time without him asking her, it makes sense that she wouldn’t want to have to ask him every single time it was his turn. I don’t think that’s -necessarily- a control thing, that’s a -don’t make me have to manage you- thing. It works out best if both people can reach an agreement over who will do what. In some cases, this happens smoothly and there are few problems. In other cases it gets rocky.

The big thing is, even though studies show that women typically do most of the housework, I know a lot of households where the man does the lion’s share of it, too. I know women who don’t lift a finger. I feel for those guys ’cause I figure that a lot of guests who come over must not realize that the reason the house is so clean is because of him, not her. So if I know I try to make sure that I tell him he’s doing a great job, and I should hope his wife/gf would tell him the same.

There should be more appreciation–husbands often work because she’s the one who dreamed of staying home with the kids, even if he might have wanted to. Husbands also fix things and contribute in other ways higher on average. But I do also see women who are due a bit more appreciation, and it eventually gets tough to quantify. I guess I’m just saying getting things to work takes compromise and respect. It’s not always there. It’s not always clear who’s to blame.

Anyway, thanks for responding the way you did. I appreciate good discussion.

08-31-2006 12:35 AM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
fishnamedjames
Regular Contributor
fishnamedjames
TheBM: I’m sorry you’re going through this nightmare. Best wishes during these tough times.

08-31-2006 05:27 AM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias
“Now, not to sound pooey, but there are studies out there that indicate that women still do most of the housework. Not the case for everyone, but I can see how that would be a problem in situations where both people have careers. And seriously, if she’s doing it all the time without him asking her, it makes sense that she wouldn’t want to have to ask him every single time it was his turn. I don’t think that’s -necessarily- a control thing, that’s a -don’t make me have to manage you- thing.”

The power of simple courtesy in getting what they want seems to have become completely lost on women. The situation I described – he was a dentist making a lot of money, she drove a corvette he paid for and had a T-shirt which said “she who dies with the most jewels, wins.” As I said, I dated her before she married him, and one of her standard lines was “how much of your time can I control this weekend.” In fact, the reason we broke up was her control issues. So, I’ll put your “studies” next to my personal knowledge of the situation and conclude that you don’t have a clue what you are talking about. Of course, I’ve never known that to stop a woman from sounding off on anything she feels like. Sorry, “pooey” is exactly what you sound.

Just to make things really interesting, she has been cheating on him the entire time they have been married and on one visit back to the city where I live, got mad as hell at me because I wouldn’t cheat with her “for old time’s sake.”

Message Edited by zacharias on 08-31-2006 07:02 AM

08-31-2006 06:56 AM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
MartianBachelor
Regular Contributor
MartianBachelor
Yea, what is it with all these women driving `vettes these days?

I thought it was the prototypical mid-life crisis poser a-h0le car… Are women buying these things themselves or do they belong to their boyfriends? Just curious, but I have noticed the trend more and more these days and have wondered what’s going on.

It is really time for women to put up or shut up on the housework thing!

If they want a guy who does laundry, they should go to the laundromat and meet a guy doing his laundry, or check out the laundry products aisle at the store everytime they’re there and not let a guy who’s shopping for detergent or fabric softner get away. If they want a guy who does floors, they should pounce an any guy they see buying a mop and/or floor wax at Wally-World. If they want a guy who cooks, there are grocery stores all over the place, and it’s really easy to look at what he’s got in his basket and see whether he just nukes a frozen pizza or cooks actual food; people have to eat, so they’re there all the time.

I could go on and on, but the impression I get is women are too feeble-minded to figure out these really simple strategies for getting what they say they want. Or what they really want is just to complain, to create drama. I suspect it’s more the latter. But the fact is actual men who do real housework are not in any sort of demand by actual women, in spite of all they say.

Stepping down off my soap-box now…

______________________________________________
“The loudest, most strident voices calling women weak, stupid, and incapable of competing in the world at large are the feminists.” – zed the zen priest

08-31-2006 08:11 AM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias

MartianBachelor wrote:
Or what they really want is just to complain, to create drama. I suspect it’s more the latter. But the fact is actual men who do real housework are not in any sort of demand by actual women, in spite of all they say.

Like I said, it isn’t about who does the housework, it is about complaining and creating control dramas. The one time I “oppressed” a woman into living expense-free on the fruits of my labor, we got into a screaming match over how I had to fold the towels. It was fine for her to leave 3 piles of her dirty clothes and a pile of her shoes in the middle of the bedroom floor, but, BY GOD those towels sitting behind the linen closet door just HAD TO BE folded to her exact specifications.

It is all a stupid mind-game and control drama.

08-31-2006 08:20 AM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
3rdworldwm
Regular Contributor
3rdworldwm

zacharias wrote:

Like I said, it isn’t about who does the housework, it is about complaining and creating control dramas. The one time I “oppressed” a woman into living expense-free on the fruits of my labor, we got into a screaming match over how I had to fold the towels. It was fine for her to leave 3 piles of her dirty clothes and a pile of her shoes in the middle of the bedroom floor, but, BY GOD those towels sitting behind the linen closet door just HAD TO BE folded to her exact specifications.

It is all a stupid mind-game and control drama.

Man, I do feel sorry for you – but do you ever consider if it has something to do with the pattern the women you attracted to? I think you may better off finding some new hobby to do rather than dating – I just find out whiter water kayaking, water skiing, and scuba diving are very exciting.

08-31-2006 08:38 AM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias

3rdworldwm wrote:

Man, I do feel sorry for you – but do you ever consider if it has something to do with the pattern the women you attracted to? I think you may better off finding some new hobby to do rather than dating – I just find out whiter water kayaking, water skiing, and scuba diving are very exciting.

Thus speaks the single mom who has her own share of stories. Have you ever considered that your experiences and status may have something to do with the men you have chosen to date?

So much for women being the more “compassionate” sex.

08-31-2006 09:11 AM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
3rdworldwm
Regular Contributor
3rdworldwm

zacharias wrote:

Thus speaks the single mom who has her own share of stories. Have you ever considered that your experiences and status may have something to do with the men you have chosen to date?

So much for women being the more “compassionate” sex.

Other than my ex, do you see me complaining about men I dated at all? And be fair about my ex, he is a good father and other then the cheating issue he treated me well. We get along fine and he sees our daughter in a regular basis. As for my status, I am very content with it.

08-31-2006 09:35 AM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias

3rdworldwm wrote:

Other than my ex, do you see me complaining about men I dated at all? And be fair about my ex, he is a good father and other then the cheating issue he treated me well. We get along fine and he sees our daughter in a regular basis. As for my status, I am very content with it.

As am I. Your personal snipe at me was totally uncalled for, 3WM. I have not taken a personal shot at you, and in fact agreed that someone else was out of line when they did. Fortunately for me, I have been conditioned to expect nothing else, so it did not surprise me. At least in my case, I was smart enough not to marry her or have a kid with her. She didn’t need me to support her, she was a career girl.

Message Edited by zacharias on 08-31-2006 09:48 AM

08-31-2006 09:47 AM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
3rdworldwm
Regular Contributor
3rdworldwm

I am sorry you took it that way – my apology if it offend you. I have told my friends males and females (I have quite a few of them) the same thing when they complain to me about their dates. Half joking.

zacharias wrote:

As am I. Your personal snipe at me was totally uncalled for, 3WM. I have not taken a personal shot at you, and in fact agreed that someone else was out of line when they did. Fortunately for me, I have been conditioned to expect nothing else, so it did not surprise me. At least in my case, I was smart enough not to marry her or have a kid with her. She didn’t need me to support her, she was a career girl.

Message Edited by zacharias on 08-31-2006 09:48 AM

Message Edited by 3rdworldwm on 08-31-2006 10:54 AM

Message Edited by 3rdworldwm on 08-31-2006 12:03 PM

08-31-2006 10:48 AM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
sunhawk
Regular Contributor
sunhawk

theBM, i am really sorry to hear about your situation, that’s simply awful :/

08-31-2006 11:36 AM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
fishnamedjames
Regular Contributor
fishnamedjames
Zacharias: Well, when I have all the details on that particular case, I agree with you.

But I mean–I know a guy who stays home. The kids have moved out of the house. His wife works full time. She wakes up in the morning, makes him breakfast in bed before she goes to work, he eats, then falls back to sleep until noon. She does all the cleaning in the house when she gets back from work, and waits on him for dinner. He eats in front of the television and makes her bring his food out, put it on a TV try for him, etc. It’s been like this for the last three years even though she’s the one working full time. The only thing I could say in his defense is that he occassionally works on projects for the house–ie, he took out some of the kitchen wall and replaced it. But his wife has to help him work on those things if she’s home when he starts.

Most of the moms I know who work are cleaning the dishes, taking care of the baby, doing the laundry, cooking, vaccumming, etc. There are definitely women who get money handed to them and who don’t lift a finger around the house, but for every one of them, it seems like there are a number of women carrying more than their share of the work… with minimal complaint. There are a decent number of guys who do their share or more than their share too, but I mean, I see guys also who think that because they picked up a sock for their girlfriend they should get a trophy.

I also dated a guy in college who I cooked for (otherwise he’d go out to restaurants… which meant he’d have to use my money, ’cause he didn’t have any), I did his laundry, I washed his car, I cleaned the dishes, I rearranged the entire room (he’d complain that the fung shui would be out of balance when his books were on the floor. I kid you not) and did general cleanups of the bathroom and everything. I was overloaded on 21 credits and working part time. He wasn’t working and was taking 12 credits. When I started doing poorly in my classes, he told me it made him feel better about himself because his Calculus II grades were higher than mine. I eventually freaked out on him when he started wanting me to write papers for him.

That’s where I’m coming from. I’m in a relationship now where we balance things out more. I loath the laundry, but my boyfriend can handle it. He loaths the dishes. We make it work through cooperation.

08-31-2006 03:42 PM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias

fishnamedjames wrote:
Zacharias: Well, when I have all the details on that particular case, I agree with you.

Funny how that works, eh? Never let getting the story mess up your “ready, fire, aim” strategy though. It seems to be working so well for you.

08-31-2006 03:51 PM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
fishnamedjames
Regular Contributor
fishnamedjames
Like you did anything different. You snapped too. But it’s obviously okay if you do it.

Seriously, I am sorry for the first time in the other thread.

08-31-2006 04:03 PM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
zacharias
Regular Contributor
zacharias

fishnamedjames wrote:
Like you did anything different. You snapped too. But it’s obviously okay if you do it.

Seriously, I am sorry for the first time in the other thread.

No snap, my cruelty is always intentional. It is far more effective that way, and never used to cause pain just for the fun of it.

08-31-2006 04:12 PM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
3rdworldwm
Regular Contributor
3rdworldwm

Both of you, “Everyone is a prisoner of his own experience. No one can eliminate prejudices–just recognize them.”
Edward R. Murrow

08-31-2006 05:26 PM

Re: Know what? I wish I would have married a career girl instead!
Diogetrix
Regular Contributor
Diogetrix

I try to classify the responses to (in this case a man’s personal narrative of his difficulties) posts. It’s not always easy considering the nature of the forum. First, I always consider the original assertions about personal experience as doubtful: It is always possible that it is wholly a construct of imagination, that the testimony is tainted in any number of ways, that the identity of the person is deceptive (could be a woman masquerading as a man,) and so on. This has to be considered for, among other things, the possibility that the post and the responses are a dog-and-pony-show – a seemingly sincere conversation that actually is a well constructed group consensus intended to influence readers. There are so many techniques involved in this that a comprehensive list impossible – especially here. Then, I try to read the responses to the original post for tone and attitude. The factuality of personal experience assertions has to be secondary; they cannot be verified. That is why the Forbes’ article is so important; it is about research findings.
I have noticed that the females (and we can assume that they are all feminist-oriented regardless of what they say, who must take a defensive posture in relation to the article) are attacking it not so much on the basis of its factuality, but are attacking the personal experience of the men on this board, the motives of the author of the Forbes article, and of course, the relevancy of the research findings to our lives. Naturally, this ends up as a ‘he said, she said’ kind of discussion.
If this were scientific technology at issue we could rely on the data. But, we all know that sociological data is tainted now not just by the inexact nature of the discipline, but by the obvious intentional perversion of sociological research by groups who have an observable and/or predictable interest. This is so obvious that it isn’t worthy of discussion, and the also obvious identity of those groups can be determined by their desire to get control of the research. That is why the Forbes article is being attacked. We know this.
What bothers me most is that this man’s personal story of injustice is like the stories of soldiers in the barracks. If it stays there, being soothed and discredited and dissipated in talk and argument with fellow victims and the sergeants, we never get around to using our time and energy in burning down the officers quarters or fragging the f**kers. The feminists are the sergeants now, living in better conditions than the grunts, and owing their power to sucking up to the authorities and by being true believers in the doctrine of the powerful. When you realize this, you act on your personal experience, and stop listening to arguments from those whose agendas cause you suffering for their benefit – not yours.

09-30-2006 04:04 PM

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