Reposting-this will insure men and protected..


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Reposting-this will insure men and protected..

Reposting-this will insure men and protected..
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

Women marry for security first and love a distant second.  Conversely, if you are a man and love is your 1st/primary criteria for selecting a partner you are making a serious mistake that will likely end badly.  There are a few rules which would be smart for any man to observe:

1.  Never marry before the age of 35.
2.  Never marry before you have purchased a home and established a retirement account.
3.  Never marry someone you met in your own workplace.
4.  Always have a prenuptial agreement which is reviewed by counsel for both parties and put off marriage for at least 6 months after a prenuptial is executed.
5.  Never allow your career earnings or assets prior to marriage to be attached in the event of a divorce.
6.  Have all your playing behind you, you are getting married, do it right.
7.  Only get married if you intend to have children, otherwise there is no benefit to you.  Realistically, there is no benefit to man at any time but it benefits children to have a 2 parent household and to not be raised by single mothers.
8.  Have detailed discussions and counseling before marriage regarding finances, children, expectations of each other, what you both will tolerate and will not tolerate.  Most people do not do this and it leads to problems.  Put it in writing so both parties can be reminded, if necessary.
9.  Take any money you would spend on an extravagant wedding and put it toward another piece of property or an investment.  Big weddings are a gross waste of resources and time and so incredibly stupid.
10. Insure that a prenuptial addresses issues such as:  total and complete waiver of spousal support, distribution of actual marital assets, parenting/custody if there are children, ownership of assets prior to marriage, ownership of career earnings, mediation to minimize attorneys fees and costs, etc.  Full disclosure is necessary by both parties to insure the prenuptial agreements validity and enforceability.
11. Maintain separate credits cards and credit accounts.  This promotes fiscal responsibility and aids in preventing your getting taken advantage of and being responsible for another person’s debts.
12. File separate tax returns (this is an issue a tax attorney should advise you on before decidinig).
13. Remember, 50% of all 1st marriages fail and over 70% of divorces are initiated by women and approx. 70% of all 2nd marriages fail.  Do not forget this when comtemplating marriage.
14. Ignore anyone who informs you that you need to spend 2-3 months salary on a wedding ring.  It is a stupid waste of cash.
15. Do not marry someone with problematic debts, they will follow you.

09-06-2006 04:07 PM

Re: Reposting-this will insure men and protected..
tellafriend
Regular Contributor
tellafriend

Just one little change I’d add:

#87: NEVER MARRY ANYONE until the laws change to acknowledge men’s needs.

If you’re so much of a pusssy that you cower when a woman offers you a marriage ultimatum, this advice won’t help you anyway. Just find a tall building and jump. Then let her marry your corpse.

Be a man and tell a woman that when you’re ready you’ll “commit” to her. But you’ll only “marry” her if she wins the lotto.

09-06-2006 06:08 PM

Re: Reposting-this will insure men and protected..
acrawfield
Regular Contributor
acrawfield

why would a woman who’s already secure on her own marry for security? so far, I’ve only seen couples marry for two reasons 1) love and 2) desperation and fear of being alone. I guess you could characterize number 2 as security, maybe, although I think it’s more an issue of “settling for what you can get”.

most of your rules are good advice, but I’m curious about some of the financial ones. how would you deal with joint expenditures, such as a mortgage, if you have separate credit cards and checking accounts? it seems like complete financial separation would be difficult to maintain in a marriage.

09-06-2006 06:44 PM

Re: Reposting-this will insure men and protected..
Back2TheKitchen
Regular Contributor
Back2TheKitchen
#99 – Just buy a house and give it away to a stranger. You’ll end up doing that anyway if you marry an American Woman.

“With women or the female mindset imparted through feminization on the vast majority of society, it will be very easy to control the Empire…I mean…the republic.” – mirrorofthesoul.blogspot.com

09-06-2006 06:48 PM

Re: Reposting-this will insure men and protected..
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

Financial issues are already dealth with.  File separate tax returns.  Mortgage is held in 1 person’s name, the one with the home, which also happens to be separate property.

09-06-2006 07:39 PM

Re: Reposting-this will insure men and protected..
C2shiningC
Contributor
C2shiningC

Be a man and tell a woman that when you’re ready you’ll “commit” to her. But you’ll only “marry” her if she wins the lotto.

LOL. I used a similar line on a girl I met who’s planning to go to medical school. I told her she needs to call me so we can go out, so she can fall madly in love with me, so we can get married, and then I can divorce her and take HALF!!

She thought it was cute.

I was serious.

No, really.

09-06-2006 11:28 PM

Re: Reposting-this will insure men and protected..
acrawfield
Regular Contributor
acrawfield

that’s all well and good if one of you is wealthy, but not if neither of you can afford a mortgage on your own… that’s a big advantage to pooling your resources as a married couple.

09-07-2006 11:37 AM

Re: Reposting-this will insure men and protected..
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

The fact is that I can and do for 2 homes, and own 1 other home in the EU outright, along with the other properties.   Sure, I am the exception.  Nonetheless, a man should not marry before he has a home, a career, a retirement account set up, etc.  If he does, he is marrying far to young and is not ready to make such a committment.

09-07-2006 12:23 PM

Re: Reposting-this will insure men and protected..
acrawfield
Regular Contributor
acrawfield

of course you do. you’re an investment banker.

but a man who’s a high school teacher, police officer, or any other less-lucrative career may not ever be able to afford a family-sized home on his own income. youth isn’t the only factor, some careers just earn less money than others… so I don’t think it’s fair to say, sorry, you shouldn’t get married because you’re not wealthy enough.

09-07-2006 05:37 PM

Re: Reposting-this will insure men and protected..
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

The dream of home ownership is quite achievable, if you work hard and stay focused.  Marrying too young almost always insures failure.  People change.

09-07-2006 05:43 PM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Reposting-this will insure men and protected..

Re: Reposting-this will insure men and protected..
acrawfield
Regular Contributor
acrawfield

I agree that marrying young is a bad idea, and I’m not advocating it.

but you’re ignoring the fact that age/maturity and money don’t always go hand in hand. my mother has been at her teaching job for 25 years and barely makes $30K/yr. is it because she doesn’t work hard? certainly not. it’s because she chose a profession that she found fulfilling, not one that makes a lot of money.

09-07-2006 06:10 PM

Re: Reposting-this will insure men and protected..
minx12
Regular Contributor
minx12

acrawfield has a good point. Mu hubby and are homeowners through sheer luck. And it wasn’t good. My husband got into a car wreck in 1996 that was not his fault. He immediately took the settlement money and put a down payment on a house. We both maybe made $7.00 an hour at the time. Without that settlement we likely would not have own a home until much later, much less one each. We are not the best savers in the world. Neither one of us will ever be rich barring winning the lottery but we both have jobs we enjoy. He and I have our 401k’s and what money we can squirrel away for our daughter’s college and disaster savings. Its getting a little easier and maybe when we are older, we will get a small summer place in the mountains after our first home is paid off. (I know, I am a silly sentimental lady, but hey, I can dream right?)

We

09-07-2006 06:41 PM

Re: Reposting-this will insure men and protected..
minx12
Regular Contributor
minx12

acrawfield has a good point. Mu hubby and are homeowners through sheer luck. And it wasn’t good. My husband got into a car wreck in 1996 that was not his fault. He immediately took the settlement money and put a down payment on a house. We both maybe made $7.00 an hour at the time. Without that settlement we likely would not have own a home until much later, much less one each. We are not the best savers in the world. Neither one of us will ever be rich barring winning the lottery but we both have jobs we enjoy. He and I have our 401k’s and what money we can squirrel away for our daughter’s college and disaster savings. Its getting a little easier and maybe when we are older, we will get a small summer place in the mountains after our first home is paid off. (I know, I am a silly sentimental lady, but hey, I can dream right?)

We both

09-07-2006 06:41 PM

Re: Reposting-this will insure men and protected..
minx12
Regular Contributor
minx12

Dang it! I hit the wrong button and posted prematurely. My apologies.

As for pre-nups. I am all for them. If you are older and have accumulated wealth, property or otherwise, in this day and age, you really need to protect yourself. Especially in a hostile, sue happy society. And you really shouldn’t get married unless you plan to have a family. What is the point other than a few tax breaks?

09-07-2006 06:44 PM

Re: Reposting-this will insure men and protected..
MartianBachelor
Regular Contributor
MartianBachelor
#10: “Insure that a prenuptial addresses issues such as: total and complete waiver of spousal support, distribution of actual marital assets, parenting/custody if there are children…”

It’s a big fallacy, which unfortunately is repeated occasionally, that too many men believe you can decide custody issues in advance. You cannot.

Family Law over-rides those sorts of things ITBIOTC (in the best interests of the children) at the time of the divorce, so no decent lawyer will let you put those sorts of things in a pre-nup because they are worse than meaningless — they give a false sense of security.

______________________________________________
“The loudest, most strident voices calling women weak, stupid, and incapable of competing in the world at large are the feminists.” – zed the zen priest

09-08-2006 03:57 PM

Re: Reposting-this will insure men and protected..
MartianBachelor
Regular Contributor
MartianBachelor
Back2TheKitchen wrote:#99 – Just buy a house and give it away to a stranger. You’ll end up doing that anyway if you marry an American Woman.

Since I’ve seen this one a few times around here, I thought I’d mention this quote is attributed to actor/filmguy Steven Seagal:

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.”

Write it down.

“…she chose a profession that she found fulfilling, not one that makes a lot of money.”

Which is why it doesn’t pay well — lot’s of people would like their jobs to be fulfilling, so the supply of people always exceeds the number really needed. Her choice, as you say.

By definition, you get paid to the extent that the job isn’t fulfilling.

Message Edited by MartianBachelor on 09-08-2006 02:15 PM

______________________________________________
“The loudest, most strident voices calling women weak, stupid, and incapable of competing in the world at large are the feminists.” – zed the zen priest

09-08-2006 04:07 PM

Re: Reposting-this will insure men and protected..
acrawfield
Regular Contributor
acrawfield

“Which is why it doesn’t pay well — lot’s of people would like their jobs to be fulfilling, so the supply of people always exceeds the number really needed. Her choice, as you say.”

of course it was her choice. did I imply otherwise?

I was simply responding to the argument that everyone should be able to buy a house on their own salary, which is totally unrealistic. the fact that two people could not afford a house on their own, but could together, doesn’t mean they’re immature or not ready for marriage.

09-08-2006 05:01 PM

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