The Quagmire Of Older Women……………….


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – The Quagmire Of Older Women……………….

The Quagmire Of Older Women……………….
SM777
Regular Contributor
SM777
…..an insightful and informative series of articles written by the famous author Bernard Chapin and directed to men showing what will happen to “liberated” and “independent” women in the future.

Available via Google, or: http://mensnewsdaily.com

08-31-2006 12:51 AM

Re: The Quagmire Of Older Women……………….
miscwit
Contributor
miscwit

Wow… Bernard Chapin is excellent!

Those three columns should be required reading for every man over 30.

It’s amazing, I know many professional, single women over 40. They all are still holding out for Prince Charming or Mr. Perfect. Most of these women are very intelligent, funny, and make for nice companions. All, however, make little effort to attract men by actually being appealing to men. Or, they pass over dozens of good men for a myriad of petty reasons that 25 year-old bombshells indulge – “He’s too short, he’s too bald, he’s got a dirty fingernail, he’s a bad dancer” etc.

Sadly, these over-40 women look nothing like those bombshells yet they grade men as if these over-40s are still in their 20s. To make matters worse, they blame the men, not their own inability to gauge reality and react accordingly. So, as these women pass into their mid 40s and then late 40s, their frustration grows more so. The feminist centric media doesn’t provide much help or guidance. It sends out terribly mixed signals such as “be comfortable with yourself and love yourself” while at the same time expounding diet tips and exercise plans.

So how is an over-40 woman to attract Mr. Perfect? First, she must realize that Mr. Perfect is actually a gay man. Then, the over-40 woman must work on her physical self. She must lose weight and make herself physically appealing to a man. “Blasphemer! How dare you say such a thing. My Mr. Perfect would accept me who I am and not insist I lose these extra 30 pounds! You are an oppressive, patriarchal, mysoginist!” Well, see the second sentence. Your Mr. Perfect is gay and doesn’t give a rat’s behind about how you look because he doesn’t desire you and never would. As well, the normal, high achieving man will simply overlook you for the younger, skinnier woman. If you can catch his eye, perhaps you can catch his heart, too. If you insist on marrying up, then you must work twice as hard because you are in direct competition with women who are 15 years younger. Remember, you have to appeal to him visually, first. Ignore that rule at your peril. No amount of social politics, feminist drivel, or self help babble will change that fundamental rule. If you ignore that rule, you will only have cats to keep you company in your future.

Next, the over-40 woman must lose the bitterness and ill-will toward men. Despite what you read, it’s not all our fault. If you think it’s all our fault, go get some cats and give up because you lose. Game over. But if you can be feminine, charming, pleasant, and non-confrontational, you still have a chance. “You evil man! How dare say such a thing! We only have to be honest and you will love us, you MUST love us!” No, actually, we don’t. We can pick and choose. If we have become financially successful, we have more choices. It’s just that simple. So, be nice, be agreeable, or go away.

Finally, the over-40 woman must adjust her standards to the needs of the marketplace. That young, single physician is not available. Deal with it. But good men are everywhere. They are in the supermarkets. They are in the bookstores. They are on the dating websites. They are teachers. They are insurance brokers. They are middle managers. They are not perfect and you are not perfect.  It’s a perfect match!

In effect the dating game is a capitalist marketplace. It’s a crude analogy but an apt one. Women are the suppliers, men are the consumers. But if the men aren’t buying, the women must fix the product.

08-31-2006 10:03 AM

Re: The Quagmire Of Older Women……………….
Democles
Regular Contributor
Democles

miscwit Excellent Post!!!

08-31-2006 10:38 AM

Re: The Quagmire Of Older Women……………….
EnglishProf
Contributor
EnglishProf

miscwit,

Okay, I will agree with you on this one (believe it or not!).  I haven’t read the articles/Website you mention, but I did live in NYC for nine years and had a plethora of female friends ranging from 25 to 40.  Even had some close friends in their 60s and 70s.  There were some friends I got so sick of hanging out with, as they were constantly saying, “Where can we find guys?”  In particular, “Where can we find good looking, rich guys.”  But when a guy would ask them out, either he was too fat, or bald, or not in the right profession, etc., etc., etc.  So they would fantasize about a Prince Charming who would wisk them off to a Park Avenue penthouse, where they would have a nanny, cook, housekeeper, etc.  In the meantime, I was thinking to myself:  “Gee whiz, go out and get a life!”  A man is going to be more attracted to a woman who has confidence in herself and her own interests, and who takes care of herself, and pursues her own hobbies.  And she can’t expect the moon if she doesn’t take care of herself.  If you are going to cruise the bars looking for hot guys, at least put on makeup, have your hair done, and put on some cute clothes.  When I suggested to one friend that perhaps she was looking in the wrong places, and perhaps she needed to give guys a chance, no matter what they looked like, she cut me off.

But sometimes it cuts both ways.  I have met men who wanted a gorgeous, accomplished woman, but they didn’t know how to take care of themselves, lose weight, etc.

Point is:  not all women are the same, and you will find that values are different when you move out of urban centers.

Heck, ya’ll should move to the farmland of the midwest or south.

08-31-2006 11:00 AM

Re: The Quagmire Of Older Women……………….
Raydogg11
Contributor
Raydogg11

miscwit wrote: If you can catch his eye, perhaps you can catch his heart, too.

Wow… so much of what you wrote is SO true. In addition though, even if you can catch his eye, you can quickly drive him away with a bitter and nasty heart.
All the cliches hold true here:
“Looks aren’t everything.”
“Beauty is only skin deep”
“It’s what’s on the inside that counts.”

You can’t maintain a meaningful relationship with ANYONE if your own heart is toxic, no matter how good you look.

08-31-2006 11:04 AM

Re: The Quagmire Of Older Women……………….
miscwit
Contributor
miscwit

But sometimes it cuts both ways.  I have met men who wanted a gorgeous, accomplished woman, but they didn’t know how to take care of themselves, lose weight, etc.

It does indeed cut both ways. Sadly, men have another option other than looking good. They can earn sufficient money so women (most, not all) will overlook certain negative physical and character attributes of the man. Someone once said that for every million a man has is worth 10 lbs or 5 years. Unfortunately, I suspect a woman said that.

08-31-2006 11:20 AM

Re: The Quagmire Of Older Women……………….
Raydogg11
Contributor
Raydogg11

miscwit wrote:Someone once said that for every million a man has is worth 10 lbs or 5 years. Unfortunately, I suspect a woman said that.

You’re probably right, although a man just as easily could have said it. Have you seen “The Girls Next Door” on E!? Ha Ha.

While I agree that most men are primarily visual creatures, I do not think that they are quite so superficial. While it is the outside that initially catches their attention, I believe that most men will also forgive/overlook a physical flaw or two if there is a truly charming personality attached. But yeah, women need to put some effort into their physical appearance to get the ball rolling.

An interesting side note to all of this is that it is COMPLETELY opposite of how it is in the animal kingdom. For the most part, it is the male of the species that has to look good and vibrant and fancy and that is what attracts the female. Think: birds, (mallards, cardinals, etc…) lions (who has the big flowing mane?)

08-31-2006 11:46 AM

Re: The Quagmire Of Older Women……………….
HSC
Contributor
HSC

Regarding the Animal Kingdom – why is that ?

Why don’t men start being more of the “fancy ones” maybe a pair of high heels to start. Just kidding. Being a somewhat old fashioned woman. I like my guy in shape and well groomed but not “fancy”. He is smart and works as hard as I do as a parent and a career person.
We should all put our best feet and attitudes forward when stepping out to meet someone new.

08-31-2006 01:27 PM

Re: The Quagmire Of Older Women……………….
MartianBachelor
Regular Contributor
MartianBachelor
In case someone else didn’t post it, Bernard’s archive is here:
http://www.strike-the-root.com/archive/chapin.html

-haven’t had time to read any other than the review of “Toxic Bachelor”, which he liked better than I did.

Yes, good post MiscWit – wish I had time to elaborate on some of it.

The concept which is sorely missing in the femi-sphere is that of “mate value” — ones value to a member of the opposite sex. They are very astute in recognizing a man’s value or lack thereof to them, but they don’t seem to grasp that they themselves also have a mate value, or if they do they resent it. They really believe all that BS about every woman inherently being a goddess (a 10) or a princess (a 10+). What stupid arrogance.

So long as women are passive they will be valued by men based on their youth and health (which together make up “reproductive value”, which is to say their sexual attractiveness. They will call this natural advantage oppression and objectification, but couldn’t get by without it. My contention would be that personality can only detract from a woman’s mate value; at best that part of it is a neutral or can only add slightly to the base value.

Their problem is their mate value declines with age. Or, as someone put it “men age like wine, women age like milk”. It also declines when you toss in another man’s kids, so trying to get custody in a divorce is a pretty stupid thing to do.

So it’s really sad seeing all the profiles on say match.com from divorced 37 year-old moms, who — now that their mate value has dropped to about zero — are now going to hold out for the perfect deal (a soulmate). When I read their posts I just shake my head. It’s all about them; they seem oblivious to the fact that they need to offer something/anything to man, at least give him some small reason to be interested.

Then, when no one responds, they go on and on about the Great American Man Shortage and the shortcomings of men.

Raydogg11: “An interesting side note to all of this is that it is COMPLETELY opposite of how it is in the animal kingdom. For the most part, it is the male of the species that has to look good and vibrant and fancy and that is what attracts the female.”

This is just a consequence of all that women get from men; there are other known circumstances in which females compete vigorously for males, but I agree us humans are probably unique. I’m glad to see someone else has noticed this crucial fact.

I’m sure you’ve also noticed that under matriarchies and in the ghettos — where strong, independent women who don’t need no man also prevail — the usual animal system is the norm: men wearing a ton of bling, driving boom-box cars (saying “I’m here, notice me!”) and all the other signs of trying to stand out and be flashy.

______________________________________________
“The loudest, most strident voices calling women weak, stupid, and incapable of competing in the world at large are the feminists.” – zed the zen priest

08-31-2006 01:28 PM

Re: The Quagmire Of Older Women……………….
Kristilyn3
Contributor
Kristilyn3

Yeah, it’s all a bunch of crap. Why bother wasting time on a man that is only going to drool over the younger ones – and if the chance arose – flee to one?

I will stick with my loyal dogs… They are far worthier of my time and attention…

Men aren’t worth the time or effort… I have realized that while young and I am ok with it!!!

08-31-2006 02:31 PM

==============================================================================
Click on the board or message subject at the top to return.

Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – The Quagmire Of Older Women……………….

Re: The Quagmire Of Older Women……………….
Raydogg11
Contributor
Raydogg11
I hope you and your *ahem* dogs have a long and happy life together.

08-31-2006 03:50 PM

Re: The Quagmire Of Older Women……………….
SM777
Regular Contributor
SM777
“Men aren’t worth the time or effort… ”
—————————————————————
American women aren’t worth my time or effort which is why I have relationships exclusively with foreign women.

08-31-2006 06:35 PM

==============================================================================
Click on the board or message subject at the top to return.

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: