This Forum = What Your Marriage To A Career Woman Will Be Like


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – This Forum = What Your Marriage To A Career Woman Will Be Like

This Forum = What Your Marriage To A Career Woman Will Be Like
Happy_Bullet
Regular Contributor
Happy_Bullet

The forum has been going for around a month now and the debate has not been resolved any further than it was at the beginning.

Look over the posts guys, hostility and resentment from both sides. Look over the posts from women: in your face logical fallacies, in your face contradictions at a frequent rate and worst of all the in-your-face unfairness is PERSISTENT.

They never give up, they persistently shove lies and dishonesty down your throat until you accept it. Then they’ll do it some more. No matter how much ground you give, they will still want more.

Try and get them to take ANY responsibility. THEY WILL NOT DO IT.

That will continue until you divorce and are reduced to a wage slave living alone and in poverty.

They know this happens if you divorce and THEY DO NOT CARE.

This is what your marriage will be like if you marry a western woman.

You have been warned.

And to end:

http://www.nomarriage.com/comments.shtml

Comments about noMarriage.com.
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Written by a woman (comments are in brackets):

Love American Style
I stumbled onto a disturbing how-to site when I was blog-surfing. The title was too intriguing, and like a a raccoon drawn to a shiny button, I clicked on the link to come face to face with a problem I never really knew I had.

If this site is to be believed, American men hate their marriages to American women.

Yep, you read that correctly. Among other things, this site outlines in great detail all of the ways that American women have devolved into bitter, controlling, spiteful, fat, lazy, manipulative bitches who feel entitled to “the good life” at the expense of their husband’s health, happiness and well-being.

You know, I realize that this site is biased, and more than likely written by an embittered ex-husband (wrong, never been married, no children), but as much as I hate to say it, there is some validity to the site. I think that is what bothers me the most.

Do my women friends have a sense of entitlement? Yep.

Are all of my women friends on Prozac? Yep. (every single woman she knows is on medication)

Does every couple I know have power struggles about money and chores? Yep.

Do the women I know push for the big house and the new SUV? Yep.

Are most of my friends divorced AT LEAST once? Yep.

Do I know men living in poverty after divorce court? Yep.

I hate to draw comparisons, but I am continually drawing the comparison of American men seeking foreign wives to American corporations seeking foreign labor. Is that all marriage is: a division of physical labor and a promise of fidelity? Is it that simple? Have we American women f*cked it up so badly with our demands for equality and our sense of entitlement?

When the hell did this happen? When did men and women choose opposing sides and begin this war? Maybe it was when the economy began to necessitate that women work to support the household.

Maybe it was when American men began to lose ground in Corporate America. When college-educated American women started climbing ladders and kicking the men off on the way up.

Women my age were raised watching Mary Tyler Moore, One Day At A Time and Alice, where single, divorced and widowed women were making it on their own.
I watched my mother work full time. I was a daycare kid. I never had any ambitions to be a stay-at-home mom and I always intended to have a career. I have to admit that the craft of homemaking is not my priority, but I would dearly love to have the warmth of a well-tended, perfectly decorated home full of homemade bread and handmade quilts. That explains the cult-like fascination with Martha Stewart Omnimedia – she presents the ideal professional woman who has nurtured her home. Of course, her husband ran off with her secretary, and her daughter is estranged. Hmm.

American women ARE bitter. We are bitter because we were sold a bill of goods about how much better it was to have a career and put the babies into daycare than it was to stay home, rock the baby and cook and clean. We ARE pissed off because we are working as hard as men are, and we are still mothers and we are still doing the housework, and **bleep** it, we went to college, earned the grades, were promised equality, and when we got a taste of it, we didn’t like it as much as we were promised that we would. Something suffers – home or career. I don’t personally know a woman yet that has been able to do justice to both.

Message Edited by Happy_Bullet on 09-24-200602:37 AM

Men have standards. Women will be compared. DEAL WITH IT.

09-24-2006 02:34 AM

Re: This Forum = What Your Marriage To A Career Woman Will Be Like
PatriarchVerlch
Regular Contributor
PatriarchVerlch

Nice find man!!! Yeah I know a good man right now, he owns his house free and clear, yet he would rather live alone than with some bossy bitch amped out on Prozac. My wife is on Prozac aswell, all of us men should start buying stock in anti depressant companies, chicks will take whatever a doctor tells them to!

I heard of another story about a man who owned a 600,000 house free and clear. Let a woman move in after awhile they split up, never married mind you, she claimed she wanted the house. He went to court, and ended up having to sell the house to cover court costs. Now he is pissed living in an apartment! Very equal ladies, very equal! Feminists are like Robin Hood, except they are hooked on crack, and instead of taking money from the rich, they take money from an average Joe and tell women they can do anything a man can do and better.

Women have been proving for the last 30 years that men have been right for the last 30 centuries!
http://www.verlch.blogspot.com

09-24-2006 03:35 AM

Re: This Forum = What Your Marriage To A Career Woman Will Be Like
khankrumthebulg
Regular Contributor
khankrumthebulg
My current wife works for a Big Law firm in Dallas. They have a client a Very well to do Gent. In his forties. He married a younger American woman a Lobbyist. A “Hottie” he owns a multi-million dollar home. And has earned it. He courted her for two years. Yes courted her. Showered her with Gifts, attention, respect, and was madly in love with her. They got married, he being Rich had a PreNup.

Funny thing was she was taking alot of business trips. He got suspicious hired a Detective. She was cheating on him. In three months he had given her over $400,000 worth of gifts. He was crushed to find out that she had been cheating on him with the other Man all along. He is sueing for “Alienation of Affection” and is very angry. I don’t blame him.

This was prior to Michael Noer’s article coming out. Don’t Marry American Women. In Dallas we have a DJ Russ Martin. He has a talk show Live 105. He talks about the strategy Women use to “Trap Men”. He refers to it as the “**bleep** Buffet”. Open for business until the Marriage transaction is done. Then the Buffet closes for the “Season”. Nympho prior to Marriage, celibate afterwards. The reality is ugly 20% of US Marriages are celibate.

09-25-2006 08:17 AM

Re: This Forum = What Your Marriage To A Career Woman Will Be Like
barbara
Regular Visitor
barbara

I traveled the county interviewing (getting into the minds and spirits of) 527 men for my book 527 NAKED MEN & ONE WOMAN The Adventures of a Love Investigator.  When promised anonymity, the men poured out their deepest – darkest.  Most men insisted women have a career.  Please see my website for a sample : http://www.527nakedmen.com

I discovered incredible anger for stay-at-home moms.  It was enlightening and disheartening. Men were thankful their mothers stayed home to raise them, and yet resented wives who chose home over career.

There were so many  startling responses: 97% of the men would NOT die for the woman they loved… and more and more….

Thank you,
Barbara Silkstone
Barbaras0303@yahoo.com

09-25-2006 08:32 AM

Re: This Forum = What Your Marriage To A Career Woman Will Be Like
MartianBachelor
Regular Contributor
MartianBachelor
“I discovered incredible anger for stay-at-home moms.”

Yea, she probably sold him a load of bushwa on what a modern and liberated woman she was, someone who was gonna pull her fair share of the breadwinning, and then at the first opportunity turned into a fat lazy sex-less parasite who watched sopa operas and talk shows all day, complained about how he didn’t do enought laundry for her, and who he couldn’t eject from his home without suffering financial ruin. What’s not to be angry about there?

Anger is a form of protest. It can be a Good Thing.

______________________________________________
“The loudest, most strident voices calling women weak, stupid, and incapable of competing in the world at large are the feminists.” – zed the zen priest

09-25-2006 10:46 AM

Re: This Forum = What Your Marriage To A Career Woman Will Be Like
khankrumthebulg
Regular Contributor
khankrumthebulg
Barbara there are certainly Men who expect that their Wives work if they want the McMansion, Huge SUV, highly expensive lifestyle. My first wife was a stay at home Mom. We had 5 children. She was unhappy when she worked and unhappy when she stayed at home. She and all of her Sisters are on Anti-Depressant Meds. Her Sisters are stay at home Moms.

My Second wife is a Career Woman. Works in the Legal Industry and we have our issues. Mostly it is due to her Church of Oprah attitude. At times she is very unrealistic and unreasonable. Funny thing about Love and Commitment. She has had a chronic Illness, several operations. And our Marriage has been celibate for 7 years. Why do I stay? I gave my word. I made a promise. My honor is at stake. It means more to me than my life. I am sure that many will not, and cannot understand that. I don’t care.

What I have seen is at least 100 Men in the last 10 years who were Divorced. Less than 10% cheated on their wives. Less than 10% wanted to be away from their kids. It is now the Men who are being hosed. And Men are wising up to it. A Legal Conference was held recently. Regarding the Family Law and Family Courts. For Career Women to villify, impugn, and demonize Men who are subject to the Legal Sanctions and Liabilities is insane.

I love this board. The attitude of Career Women reenforces the validity of Michael Noer’s article. The adamant refusal to face reality suggests Mental Illness on the part of many of our Women. Roseanne Barr admitted it. She stated that it took her 10 years of counseling to get well mentally. And that everyone she knew in Hollywood was messed up. The Cultural Driver for our Nation. A Moral Cesspool.

09-25-2006 02:12 PM

Re: This Forum = What Your Marriage To A Career Woman Will Be Like
Happy_Bullet
Regular Contributor
Happy_Bullet

I discovered incredible anger for stay-at-home moms. It was enlightening and disheartening. Men were thankful their mothers stayed home to raise them, and yet resented wives who chose home over career.

This lovely out-of-context-bollocks quote doesn’t mean they preferred a happy medium. It doesn’t even mean they didn’t resent career women.

Saying that the above logically means “men prefer career women” is bollocks.

Men ARE resentful against stay at home mothers in a sense, because the cost of living has been driven up by feminism, a two income family is practically REQUIRED. However, a CAREER WOMAN, as opposed to a WORKING WOMAN, are two completely different things.

If it weren’t for the mess we are in as a result of feminism there would be ZERO resentment for stay at home mothers. A man who can afford to support a stay at home mother will have zero resentment.

But then, we’d have to buy your stupid book to examine the context in which this information is gathered. By your abuse of context on here, I can say there is a good probability context would have been abused in your book, as well.

Men have standards. Women will be compared. DEAL WITH IT.

09-27-2006 08:47 PM

Re: This Forum = What Your Marriage To A Career Woman Will Be Like
MartianBachelor
Regular Contributor
MartianBachelor
“…a CAREER WOMAN, as opposed to a WORKING WOMAN, are two completely different things.”

Ya mean it’s not just a euphemism?

What is the difference, prey tell?
(beyond the fact that a career sounds fulfilling, while work sounds like, well, work)

______________________________________________
“The loudest, most strident voices calling women weak, stupid, and incapable of competing in the world at large are the feminists.” – zed the zen priest

09-27-2006 09:24 PM

Re: This Forum = What Your Marriage To A Career Woman Will Be Like
Happy_Bullet
Regular Contributor
Happy_Bullet
I’ve been classifying “career” as classified in the original Noer article:

For our purposes, a “career girl” has a university-level (or higher) education, works more than 35 hours a week outside the home and makes more than $30,000 a year.

I think there has been confusion on here about this. Women who simply “work” or are not in a field that is going to lead to this definition of “career” have come on and acted like they so or will fit the classification.

The other option are the so called “pink collar” jobs, which I, personally think offers a happy medium and have no problem with.

I wouldn’t accept a housewife (for being lazy), just like I wouldn’t accept a career wife (for being manly). I’d consider someone in the above situation, if the divorce laws etc. weren’t rooted. I know some people on here differ.

Men have standards. Women will be compared. DEAL WITH IT.

09-27-2006 10:32 PM

Re: This Forum = What Your Marriage To A Career Woman Will Be Like
MartianBachelor
Regular Contributor
MartianBachelor
10-4, thanks for taking the time to clarify.

That $30k threshold caught my eye when I first read Noer and I recall there being some discussion of it way back when. It seems awful low and I’m wondering where it came from, why it’s used, etc. Will have to check the archive.

I think when one says “career woman” to most people they think of someone in some sort of management position making much more, maybe almost double that amount after at least 5-8 years (and likely 10-12 or more years) in the workforce. It would seem a 40 year-old who’s still only making $30k or $35k doesn’t have much of a career. You’d think the researchers could come up with a better way to sort things so as to correspond to the admittedly somewhat fuzzy way the words are used.

No need to respond – I’m just opining.

______________________________________________
“The loudest, most strident voices calling women weak, stupid, and incapable of competing in the world at large are the feminists.” – zed the zen priest

09-28-2006 12:33 AM

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Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – This Forum = What Your Marriage To A Career Woman Will Be Like

Re: This Forum = What Your Marriage To A Career Woman Will Be Like
barbara
Regular Visitor
barbara

khankrumthebulg:

I am responding to your message of 8.25.06
You sound like a good man.  Let me introduce you to one of the 527 men
I interviewed for my book.  You have common values.

Excerpt:

Kurt tortures his lemon slice into a submissive knot and plops it into the big tumbler.  This afternoon Kurt is in a hurry to talk.  He will say what he has to say.  I will gather up his thoughts, add them to my growing collection of information, and begin to carve out a template of the modern male mind.

Kurt smiles.  He’s happy to examine the issues, happier still for the audience.  “My mind’s like a bad neighborhood,” he explains.  “I don’t like to go in there alone because I might get mugged.”

I laugh; he’s obviously joking, as our previous conversation has shown that Kurt’s personal life is a far cry from the fast-lane image he projects.  He has managed to remain happily married to the same woman for fifteen years.  Impressive anywhere; phenomenal in a place like Los Angeles, where relationships go into a turnaround faster than development deals.

“So,” I begin, “what are you doing that makes it so right?”

“It’s simple,” he replies.  “Relationships are all about . . . your word.  In the end, the only thing you’ve got is your word.

“If you build your word on your emotions, you’re building on a weak foundation that is going to shift and change.  It’s going to all fall apart.  It just doesn’t work that way.

“See I don’t think that love is a feeling, that’s not it.  Love is my word.  When I say I Love You, I’ve given you my word, and now I have to create that love; not on how I feel, but because I say so.”

“So when I’m angry, I have to still create love.” His voice gets louder. “When you piss me off or you do something that makes me not want to love you, I have to say, ‘I still love you.’  People don’t know how to . . . no one keeps their word anymore.”

I think about my interviews with men who place no value on their word; juxtapose it against the thinly veneered female competition raging around us.  I wonder about the cost of cloning Kurt.

“From one day to the next, I don’t know where my job’s going to be,” he says.  “Every time we make a date, it ends up getting broken.  If Annie didn’t know I was committed to our relationship, she’d go ‘this guy’s a flake.’  So I have to make it work.  There has to be some kind of intention that glues it all together.”

Once again Kurt is using his eyes to pin me down.

I blush . . . for no good reason.

“It’s the difference between me making the world fit my word or my word fit the world.  It’s really what it comes down to.  You understand?  It comes from inside, I make it work because I say so.  For me, it’s strictly because I say so.  My word is more powerful than everything else.”

This all sounds great . . . almost too good.  This is LA, and maybe his rap, as genuine as it seems, is just a prop – real on the surface, but propped up like two-by-fours and phony as a back lot set.  I probe his lines, testing.  “You mean once you tell someone you love them – you make yourself love them?

“No,” he says, “but if I finally do tell someone something as important as “I love you,” then all I have is my word on how I say it’s going to be.  And I stick to my word.”

“So what happens if you change your mind?”

He knits his fingers together thoughtfully, leans in for emphasis.  “The difference is, do I change my mind or do I change my commitment?  A lot of people let their feelings dictate their lives.

“They wake up, they don’t feel good, they don’t want to work, so they don’t go to work.  They feel like they’re in love the night before, they wake up and they don’t feel in love.   If I let all that stuff around me dictate how I am or how I act, I’ve got no power.  I’ve given my power away.  The only fact that I have is what I say.”

“Where did you get all this self-discipline from?” I ask him.

He smiles, “My mother.  It has to do with self-respect.  You have to find something to pull you on.  She gave me that.  You give your word – you  keep your word.”

“But how did you know your love was real?”

“You just do,” he says.  “You can’t imagine it into being.  It’s just there . . .”

Kurt continues.  “I know there are other women out there who might be more my physical type, you know, bigger women.  I’m a big person physically and Annie is small. I think that you can have everything you want in life, but if your vision of what that is, is attached to some picture . . . you’ll probably get disappointed.

“There’s a certain distraction that I see in all my single friends.  They could be twenty or forty, they could be sixty-whatever. They’re always chasing this elusive train. They never really get to where they want to get to in their lives because they are always chasing this thing they don’t have.  Even with sex, if you think sex is going to be this big ‘pay off’ in a relationship, you’re out of your mind.  The pay off is in hanging in there.  When you really start to build that friendship that can’t be broken, no matter what, that’s the pay off.

“Annie and I have the ability to create a new relationship every time it gets old. Right now we’re creating a whole new relationship.  We’re working on having a baby.”

I congratulate him.  He cautions me . . . “Not yet!”

He stretches one leg and tips back in his chair. “We don’t want to have a kid built on the old relationship.  It won’t work.  The old relationship was two separate individuals and their own individual lives going down this road.  You have to have some commitment, with a common thread that the relationship hangs on that allows you to swing and dangle without breaking.”

I pause in the questioning.  I’m impressed; if this is bull, it’s world-class.  But I don’t think so.  Kurt seems earnest, and both his answers and his worldview fundamentally make sense. “Why have you lasted this long with Annie?” I ask. “Can you sum it up for me?”

Kurt smiles.  “’Cause she was my first love, and you can’t replace that,” he says.  The words are soft and sexy as they leave his lips.

10-08-2006 01:44 PM

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