“What makes women happy?” – Fay Weldon: “Start faking orgasms”

Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – “What makes women happy?” – Fay Weldon: “Start faking orgasms”

“What makes women happy?” – Fay Weldon: “Start faking orgasms”

Hi all,

Thanks, a very interesing blog indeed!
I am new to this page, so good to meet you all: I am 35,  single, was born in Ukraine and now live in Tasmania.
Here is an Australian review of a recent collection of unbeatable pearls of wisdom on “What makes women happy” written by Fay Weldon. Interesting to see how this author, apparently of a white UK middle-class, is speaking on behalf of ALL women. Why not just say: What could make a woman like me happier, or not as bitter as I am or something similar? No way!!
WHAT MAKES WOMEN HAPPY? End of story! Typical of any biased ideology and extremist social movement which is what modern feminism is all about.
$29.99, thanks…


Stop navel gazing and start faking orgasms, says Fay Weldon.

Do you fancy yourself as the kind of person who is in touch with your feelings? The sort to share them with loved ones, with the belief that to do so is for the betterment of all involved?

If so, Fay Weldon would like to throttle you.

Granted, she doesn’t actually threaten bodily harm to those who subscribe to an Oprah-fied existence in her latest book, What Makes Women Happy. But she comes close. Billed as “a blend of philosophy, storytelling and self-help”, the book takes aim at the navel-gazers among us who hurt others – and ourselves – in the name of self-actualisation.

“Self-esteem can go too far,” she writes. “A little low self-esteem might not come amiss as we consider our faults and failures.”

If we’re really serious about pursuing happiness, she advises, we should fake orgasms, quit bitching and try blaming ourselves for a change. And, above all, we should be good. (“Be good and you’ll be happy. Be happy and you’ll be good and go to heaven.”

Once one comes to grips with Weldon’s po-faced stance – she doesn’t appear to be joking – it’s hard not to admit that she’s got a point.

Surely, those of us who give in to the temptation to tell friends and family the “truth” (that they can’t paint or are still fat) for their own sakes deserve a smack. And who hasn’t deluded themselves into believing that a hurtful action was justified because, well, to act in any other way would mean betraying our authentic selves?

Weldon says: “If you don’t respond to the promptings of guilt, you might very well go to hell – in other words, fall into a depression, get ill and end up with no friends.”

It’s the sort of bold, snappy statement that will come as no surprise to fans of Weldon, who had a career in advertising before going on to write 26 books, including The Life and Loves of a She-Devil, Mantrapped and Big Women.

Unfortunately, Weldon’s other famous trait – literary flip-flopping – is also out in force. Over the decades, the controversial author has switched sides on almost every issue she has ever been passionate about. In the 1970s, she was pro-marriage; in the ’80s, she was ambivalent, at best. At one time, analysis was fabulous; then later, the root of all evil. Having once derided lustful relationships based on physical appearance, she later had plastic surgery.

She defended her habit in 1998, telling the Herald: “I see no real virtue in consistency, because the world changes round you all the time. You should be anxious about different things at different times.”

One has to wonder, then, just how long this latest book took her to write, because over the course of 231 pages, she flips enough to make one’s head spin.

On page 82, “any sensible girl” will jettison plans with friends when a hot date comes calling. Some eight paragraphs later, we can do without partners, husbands, lovers, children, jobs and money, as long as we have good friends. Guilt, she says on page 19, is “society’s safeguard”; by page 26 we’re told to “forget guilt”, because the “real enemies of happiness” are old age, illness, bereavement, isolation, debt and bitterness.

And what of her central thesis – that we should do what we ought to, rather than what we want to?

I still haven’t figured out how encouraging clucky readers to cheat on an infertile partner – temporarily – to get pregnant, and then passing off the resulting child as one’s partner’s for the sake of his self-esteem, quite fits.

But at 74, Weldon is savvy enough to give herself an out – an early admission that she is an “Unreliable Narrator” and a “very flawed person”. But is it enough to quell one’s irritation at being turned into a pushmi-pullyu? You be the judge.

09-25-2006 03:10 AM

Re: “What makes women happy?” – Fay Weldon: “Start faking orgasms”
Regular Contributor
“You must understand that I write first and think later.” – Fay Weldon

Weldon is yet another excellent product of a broken home, who’s had at least one illegitimate child, three marriages, and is a poster child for what many feminists aspire to be: perpetual children with pointless careers – total ding-bats with bad cases of diarrhea of the mouth (or pen, in this case).

Q: Why do women fake orgasms?
A: Because they think men care.

Tellafriend, you got your duct tape handy?

“The loudest, most strident voices calling women weak, stupid, and incapable of competing in the world at large are the feminists.” – zed the zen priest

09-25-2006 04:13 AM

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