Physical Custody / Divorce


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Physical Custody / Divorce

Physical Custody / Divorce
jimp
Contributor
jimp
If men and women are equal, then what is your opinion on the fact that in the case of divorce, physical custody is awarded to the father only about 10% of the time?

Since women on average make LESS money than men, the children are worse off with them financially. So the only justification for this is either:

A. Women are 9 times better at raising kids than men — which implies that men could be 9 times better than women at other things, such as physics, which of course no feminist would ever admit

or

B. The U.S. legal system is a$$-raping men in divorce court

What do you think?

10-02-2006 06:20 PM

Re: Physical Custody / Divorce
minx12
Regular Contributor
minx12

Just curious, since I’m not too familiar with divorce, and hopefully never will have to be, how many of the men in those divorces are requesting custody of their children? Does it say? Or are they just leaving that to the women, thinking that somehow the kids will be better off? I am curious about that because I would think (I know, there I go thinking again) that the person best able to bring them up should be the one keeping custody. I know thats how my folks did it. Dad made the higher wage, had the benefits etc, so he kept the house and got custody of the kids and mom paid whatever child support she could and got aplace of her own.

Maybe my situation was pretty rare, I never saw my dad suffer monetarily as of result of his divorce so its a little harder for me to understand.

10-02-2006 06:32 PM

Re: Physical Custody / Divorce
MartianBachelor
Regular Contributor
MartianBachelor
“…how many of the men in those divorces are requesting custody of their children?”

I’m guessing that on the advice of counsel many men don’t request custody because it would be a futile and pointless (and costly) thing to do. If mom wants `em, she gets `em (for the most part).

So the answer is to your question is, we don’t know, because things people don’t do don’t make into the public record, the stats, etc. More generally this would be known as “selection effects” – any numbers could be rather misleading.

______________________________________________
“The loudest, most strident voices calling women weak, stupid, and incapable of competing in the world at large are the feminists.” – zed the zen priest

10-02-2006 09:44 PM

Re: Physical Custody / Divorce
Cassius
Regular Contributor
Cassius
Minx the way your parents worked things out happend because mommy agreed, she obviously truly wanted the best for her children, but most moms want the house alimony and child support first that comes with custody and unless the mother mutilated one of the children, she gets custod 10 times out of 10 when she requests it.

10-03-2006 10:48 AM

Re: Physical Custody / Divorce
minx12
Regular Contributor
minx12

I don’t know, I guess I’m just trying to wrap my head around these kind of things. I tend to be an optomist and try to see the best in all things and all people. Its depressing that things like this happen at all. Its not right and I wish I could do something to make it right. The vindictiveness that that people pursure one other with really makes me shake my head in wonderment.

I know that from what you are saying, is that guys don’t pursue custody because they don’t think they’ll win, but nothing ventured nothing gained right? Giving up before the fight just guarantees a loss. At least if you tried you can feel better about having done so.

Again, forgive my ignorance, I am just trying to get a little knowledge on the subject, I am worried for a friend who might just end up going down this road. He is in a bad place with his wife, and at this point I commend his self-restraint in not making her dissappear.

10-03-2006 12:05 PM

Re: Physical Custody / Divorce
moneyneversleep
Regular Contributor
moneyneversleep

Statistically, empirically and practically your friend is at a disadvantage.  He will pay copious amounts of alimony and support, he will lose 1/2 or more of his assets,  he will be lucky to see his children 2 weekends per month, maybe.  His wife can call the police and concoct a story that he abused her and the following WILL happen:  He will be arrested, he will have a restraining order, he will be ordered to stay away from his residence.  This is what happens in the real world.

10-03-2006 06:42 PM

Re: Physical Custody / Divorce
MartianBachelor
Regular Contributor
MartianBachelor
“…guys don’t pursue custody because they don’t think they’ll win, but nothing ventured nothing gained right? Giving up before the fight just guarantees a loss. At least if you tried you can feel better about having done so.”

Idealism is generally a good thing, but listening to your lawyer is sometimes better. So it’s not a matter of not believing in themselves, but that they really don’t stand a chance. Better to live to fight another day, etc. The men who fight it out to the bitter end usually don’t feel better about it for having tried, but some do.

______________________________________________
“The loudest, most strident voices calling women weak, stupid, and incapable of competing in the world at large are the feminists.” – zed the zen priest

10-04-2006 04:06 PM

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