Women at my work: SHEER HELL


Reader Response to “Don’t Marry Career Women” – Women at my work: SHEER HELL

Women at my work: SHEER HELL
CosTas
Contributor
CosTas

While arguing about risks of marrying career women, I’d like to ask you guys to share your ideas on a real issue that I am having at the moment which is HOW TO DEAL with career and just ordinary women at work. Personally, I have found it not only hard but nearly impossible to have an open, honest and straightforward relationship with women at any workplace. In the past, I used to blame myself for all the problems and tried to “fix myself up. I tried many recipes: being nice and humorous led to them started walking all over me very soon), being aloof and distant earned me a reputation of a “jerk with poor people skills”, concentrating on my work and flying below the radar didn’t earn me any great favours (not that I am seeking any) either except “y’know that kill-joy seems like he ain’t wanna talk to us. Oh, let’s just ignore him now! Hehe”.

It seems to be the same old “Damned if you do, damned if you don’t”. I get along quite well, with guys and find communication with men fairly simple: you normally get what you give. No BulShiit behind your back, or very little.

With women it’s never clear wether she’ll appreciate your humour and just laugh with you to have a good time or next thing she’ll do is go to the manager and complain that she got offended.

What I find particularly hard is fight back: if she comes in and say some craap to me like “Oh, look what a pig’s mess you’ve made! Hahaha” (just because I am running late with my patients and the assistant happens to be not here to help) I feel I cannot bring myself to fight back and shut the b+++ up. And think of it: she’s just a bloody receptionist ($13/h) bossing around a health professional with $90/h.

There’s this constant fear they’ll all get up on their heels and will come running to me and start their noisy squeaky BS that I just hate.

They are not loyal in the least to the boss and keep BS-ing him behind his back all the time. I am sure they are doing the same behind my back too.

On the other hand, I can’t avoid communicating with them because, although just auxiliaries, they are in fact running the whole show: front desk, sterilizing room, phone, bills, etc. I talked to my boss and said I am not happy with all this craap, it is really affecting my work, and emotional well-being, and the customer service, and what not, and he’s like: Take it easy. The main thing: avoid any legal actions against ya, mate.

I think he doesn’t know what to do either.

Do you??

10-13-2006 04:11 AM

Re: Women at my work: SHEER HELL
Cassius
Regular Contributor
Cassius
Sounds to me like you get shamed for not beeing disponible to unload their work on you. My advise is keep your distance, theyll get used over it and you will be on the safe side for avoiding troubel. Remember you are a walking lawsuit waiting to happen.

10-13-2006 05:50 AM

Re: Women at my work: SHEER HELL
CosTas
Contributor
CosTas

Cassius,

Me being a walking lawsuit doesn’t bode well with my productivity… This is already starting to affect me and I don’t want to end up having sleepless nights or losing my job.

10-13-2006 06:00 AM

Re: Women at my work: SHEER HELL
Cassius
Regular Contributor
Cassius
Thats why you should keep away from women at work and keep it strictly professional, over time they will get used to you keeping your distance and it will be no big deal.

10-13-2006 10:12 AM

Re: Women at my work: SHEER HELL
Happy_Bullet
Regular Contributor
Happy_Bullet

Man,

In the past I have occasionally thought that maybe I should have studied medicine so that I could be more helpful to my fellow humans, rather than a technical subject.

Your post has just fixed that up. I am now really glad I work in a male dominated technical industry, even though my boss in an arsehole.

I’ve worked in an office with women before. I never found a way to avoid the feelings of “being left out”. My advice to you would be this: You’re not there to be liked. You’re there to do your job. Keep things very strictly professional. No anger displayed during complaints, but no special treatment either. They think you’re a jerk for being professional – who cares. I recommend to you the book “Your Erroneous Zones” – By Wayne Dyer. I’d recommend No More Mr Nice Guy, but that might be a bit too hard core unless you are prepared to leave your job if your needs are not met. The Dyer book will talk about not worrying about approval etc. and hopefully give you a bit of a thicker skin.

I don’t envy your situation though bro.

Men have standards. Women will be compared. DEAL WITH IT.

10-14-2006 12:19 AM

Re: Women at my work: SHEER HELL
CosTas
Contributor
CosTas

Thanks for your advice, Bullet, I’ll have a look for thoses books in our library (just out of curiosity, I don’t think I could change anything though)..
The thing that bothers me most in this situation is that men (and I am not only speaking for myself) have been socialized to RESPECT and PROTECT women no matter the what and how much crap we cop from them.

Regardless.

In the past few months, I went to my management (all males) to raise up the issues of productivity in the clinic – grrlls don’t want to pull their weight as they should which makes me work even harder to fix THEIR problems that have become MY problems..

The result was disappointing in all instances: “well, you know she’s a mom, buddy…” or “well, yeah, I know…” Going to a female manager is out of the question – she’ll take you as a heartless monster who has a nerve to complain about women (preferential intake category), “not a real man”, a “sissy” unable to sort out HIS problems…

One more point:

nealry ALL our young female staff come to work as if they were at a fashion parade or Miss Australia show: dressed up like harlots, wearing knee high boots on stilettoe heels (it’s stinking hot now, but anyway…), with tons of make up (reaching for that nice little mirror every 5 min to check if she’s ok..).

Many of them are single. Obviously, they are looking for male attention. There’s no doubt, they enjoy being in the centre of attention. Male’s attention.  Obviously, they are waiting for you to take notice of how HOT AND beaaauuutifuuuul they are today!
Now, if you are not being careful and do say something complimentary, that can be immediately turned against you (“Nervous men kill off office romance”, don/t they?).
However, if you dress up to impress by nuding yourself up and shoving your sexual powers in everyone’s face and as a result you look like a whore (they talk and behave like whores anyway), then what’s the point of playing a poor Saint Mary?
It’s just plain dishonest.
If you advertise than you’d better be ready to sell, gals. And that would apply to any self-respecitng brothel.
So If one day the same looking grrls left brothels for business offices, then why shouldn’t those rules apply to sexual harassment legislation as well???
If she advertises her sexual allure, that means she is trying to sell it.

Am I right or yet another “nervous man”?

???

10-16-2006 02:08 AM

Re: Women at my work: SHEER HELL
Happy_Bullet
Regular Contributor
Happy_Bullet

Now, if you are not being careful and do say something complimentary, that can be immediately turned against you (“Nervous men kill off office romance”, don/t they?).

Yes. Forget that at your peril.

However, if you dress up to impress by nuding yourself up and shoving your sexual powers in everyone’s face and as a result you look like a whore (they talk and behave like whores anyway), then what’s the point of playing a poor Saint Mary?

Power. The cake and eat it too kind.

It’s just plain dishonest.

Yeah, but they’re getting away with it so there’s no reason for them to care.

If you advertise than you’d better be ready to sell, gals. And that would apply to any self-respecitng brothel.

They are tempting not selling. They want an offer. They are ready for you to pay in advance, with no obligation. And sometimes people DO pay in advance, with no obligation for them to reciprocate. Who cares WHO that person is? And if it’s not completely to her liking, or she feels she will be more flattered by rejecting him she can make him pay by a sexual harassment suit. Excellent deal. Anyway I reckon you need to ignore them more. I used to. Pisses them off, naturally.

So If one day the same looking grrls left brothels for business offices, then why shouldn’t those rules apply to sexual harassment legislation as well???
If she advertises her sexual allure, that means she is trying to sell it.

Hehe, she’s trying to sell alright, she’s trying sell the temptation to make an offer. Doesn’t even matter if it’s one she will take or not. Just the fact an offer was made is to her advantage.

Frankly if I ever found out a chick had made a sexual harassment claim and I was on a date with her, I’d pretty much walk on the spot. She’d pay the whole bill too, cause I’d walk out.

Men have standards. Women will be compared. DEAL WITH IT.

10-16-2006 09:55 PM

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